Following Her Dream

A boisterous murmuring surrounded Janet in the cramped entrance of the restaurant. The family-owned business was popular with the locals, and the lunch hour rush had her feeling claustrophobic. She squeezed through the crowd of people towards the front, nearly tripping over the children that ran through the forest of legs with little regard to their surroundings.

After a thousand uncomfortable mutterings of apologies and 'excuse-me's, she broke through the mob. With the main crowd behind her, she set about scanning the tables, looking for a familiar face. Across the room she saw a hand waving in the air, demanding her attention. After a moment of apprehensive hesitation, she made her way over, dodging the obstacles of employees and patrons that almost seemed intent on slowing her down.

"Janet! I'm so glad you made it!" Snow greeted with enthusiasm, a stark contrast to Janet's disquietness. "Small steps, y'know?" she said with a calm voice, gesturing for Janet to sit opposite her in the booth. "They brought some water. I didn't know what you'd want to drink, but the waiter should be back soon."

"That's okay, the water's fine. Thank you." She fussed over her hair, trying to calm it after the damage caused by the windy afternoon. The howling could still be heard through the window. She gave up on the futile task after little effort.

"Are you sure? You can get anything you want. Today's all on me," Snow explained. She looked at Janet with concern.

With a polite smile, Janet nodded. She clasped her hands together, holding them between her knees as she looked down at the table.

"So, how are you holding up?" Snow asked, her voice soft and caring. It was almost a rhetorical question. Judging by Janet's appearance, she looked just as Snow had expected based on their texts the past few days.

"Good... I guess..." Janet took a sip of the water. She set the glass down, staring at the floating cubes contained within, a slice of lemon trapped between them. "It has ice," she uttered in a forlorn manner. "Rachel always asked for no ice..." she added.

Snow frowned. "I'll be sure to get that taken care of," she promised, glancing around the room for someone to flag down. She motioned to her waiter at another table. The man nodded to her, indicating that he would be right there as soon as he was done assisting the other customers. Snow returned her attention to her befallen companion.

"Still no word from her, huh?" Snow stirred her own beverage with her straw. It had been days since she had seen Janet. After everything that happened, she insisted they keep in touch. When she found out about Rachel, she made it her mission to get Janet out of the house. It wasn't until now that she was able to convince her.

Janet shook her head but remained quiet.

Snow reached over and placed her hand on Janet's. "You know I'm here for you, Janet. You'll get through this, I promise." Despite the unorthodox beginning of their friendship, or maybe even because of it, she had grown fond of Janet. After everything Violet had put her through, Snow couldn't help but feel obligated to make things right, not that she needed such an excuse anymore.

Janet turned her hand over, embracing Snow's. She smiled dispassionately at it.

"Are you sure you don't want me to try calling her? All you have to do is give me the number. I'm sure you'd be able to at least do that, right?" She caressed Janet's hand with her thumb as she spoke.

"No," Janet answered with a sniff. "It's clear she doesn't want that. I tried at first, but..." Her voice trailed off. She remembered spending hours trying to hit send on her phone. She could put in the phone number, she could write the text message, but that's as far as she'd get. Her thumbs refused to make that last move.

"Good afternoon. Would you like anything to drink, miss?" the waiter said, his unexpected presence causing Janet to jump. He was looking at her as he held the notepad in his hand, pencil at the ready.

"Can we get a replacement water for her, without ice this time, please? And then I think we're ready to order," Snow explained, pulling the waiters attention to her. "I'll have the um..." She stole a quick look over at Janet. "Two tuna sandwiches, and a bowl of fruit on the side."

"Very well," he responded, scribbling on the paper. "And for you, miss?"

Janet held her hand up. "No, thank you. I'm fine," she squeaked out.

Snow gave her a disappointed look, but otherwise said nothing. She didn't expect much else anyways. She waited for the waiter to leave. "You have to eat something, Janet. I ordered extra, I'm not going to take no for an answer."

Janet sank down into the seat, nodding her head in response.

Snow was trying hard to think of something to say to cheer her up when suddenly Janet brought her hand to her face and started crying. "Oh, honey," Snow responded as she got up to round the table. She sat next to Janet and put her arm around her shoulder. "It's okay," she consoled, pulling Janet close and rubbing her arm.

"I'm sorry," Janet choked out. She leaned against Snow and tried to wipe her tears away in fruitless effort. "I don't mean to make a scene," she stammered.

"There's no scene. Just let it out, as long and loud as you want. Don't worry about anyone else, you hear me?" Snow leaned her head against the top of Janet's. Reaching down, she grabbed Janet's hand, interlacing their fingers and holding firm.

The two sat in silence, Janet's shoulders shaking now and then with her sobs as Snow rocked her from side to side. After a time, the tears stopped. Janet dried her eyes. She grabbed Snow's hand and brought it down around her waist. It brought a nice comfort to her that she hadn't felt in some time.

"This is how Rachel would always hold me," she explained as she pressed into Snow. "She had always been there for me, when I needed her. Any time I'd be feeling down, she'd go out of her way to cheer me up. She could just look at my face and instantly know. Before I could even lay down on the couch, she'd have my favorite movie already playing."

"What movie is that?" Snow asked, eager to keep Janet talking.

"The Last Unicorn," Janet answered. A smile formed on her face at the thought of the film, pushing back the sorrow in her eyes.

Snow lifted her head up to look at the saddened girl. "Isn't that a children's cartoon?" She felt Janet start to push away. 'Shit, what are you doing, you idiot?' she thought to herself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." She pulled Janet back in, Janet eventually relenting to her. "Sorry. Please continue."

"I used to watch it all the time as a child," she said, relaxing again. "I don't think I ever even asked her to watch it with me, she just took it upon herself to do so, ever since the first time. She would hold me close, just like this, or let me put my head on her lap.

"I think she hated the movie," Janet said with a despondent laugh. "She never said as much, but I know she was only watching it for me. She'd find the time... cancel any plans if she had to. Didn't matter what they were... I don't think she ever said no to the movie..."

"What's it about?" Snow inquired.

Janet closed her eyes as the film began playing in her head. She tried to imagine she was on the couch with Rachel right now as a melancholic smile appeared on her face. "It's about a unicorn that is told she is the last of her kind. She reluctantly leaves her forest on a quest to go find out where all the other unicorns went. She meets up with an incompetent wizard who accompanies her on the journey. On their way, they find out that King Haggard sent his red bull to drive away all the others."

"Why does the king want to do that?" Snow gently asks.

"Looking at unicorns is the only thing that ever made him happy. He had his red bull drive them all into the sea by his castle, so that he could look at them through the tide whenever he wanted."

"He sounds like an awful, greedy person," Snow quipped. She felt Janet nod her head against her. "What happens next?"

"Another person joins the group, and together they approach the castle. The red bull attacks, and in order to save the unicorn, the wizard casts a spell that transforms her into a human. The red bull loses interest, but the unicorn is afraid, because she could feel her mortal body slowly dying."

Janet brings her feet up to lay them on the bench.

"They reach the castle soon, and manage to convince the king to let them stay, telling him that the unicorn is actually the wizard's niece, Amalthea. While they look for the red bull, the unicorn starts to forget about who she is while in her mortal form. Over time, she starts to fall in love with the king's son. When they finally discover where the red bull is hiding, the king's son is informed of the unicorn's true nature. He says he still loves her, which causes the unicorn to want to abandon her quest. She barely remembers why they're there anymore, and would rather stay with him, but he declines."

"Do they fight the red bull?" Janet doesn't respond, and Snow wonders if maybe she fell asleep. Turning her head, she whispers, "Janet?"

Janet frowns. "I didn't remember... it had been so long since I've seen the ending. I would always fall asleep by that point, even when I was a kid."

"Didn't?" Snow repeated, curious at her choice of words.

Janet took a deep, shaky breath, trying to maintain her composure. "I've been watching the movie... every day since she left. I can't fall asleep during it anymore..." Despite her best efforts, she begins to cry again.

Snow hugged her tightly. When the waiter approached with the food, she gestures to have him place it on the table, mouthing a thank you before returning her attention to Janet.

Janet opens her red, puffy eyes. She looks up to Snow. "Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Absolutely," Snow responds, "but first I want you to eat something." With one last rub on Janet's side, Snow nudges her into an upright position. Grabbing half a sandwich off the plate, she hands it to Janet.

Janet stares at the sandwich for a moment before bringing it up to take a tiny bite out of the corner.

"Come now, you can do better than that," Snow chides. "Here, watch this." She grabs a sandwich of her own and proceeds to shove as much of it into her mouth as she can, leaving only a small portion in her hand. She turns to Janet, her cheeks plump like a chipmunk. "Now you try," she says almost incomprehensibly, pieces of bread flying out her mouth. She covers it with her hand. "Oops, sorry." She gives Janet a messy grin.

Janet couldn't help but laugh in response as she took a more moderate bite of her own.

"Eh, better. Still have room for improvement though," Snow proclaimed. She reached over to grab her drink on the other side of the table, taking a sip to help her manage her large portion.

"How are you and Violet doing?" Janet asked, her voice almost sounding distant.

Snow cleared her throat. "Great, actually. Thanks to you." She places her arm around Janet's shoulder. "We had a long talk about everything," she explains in a more somber tone. "And I mean everything. It was weird hearing that we had broken up, and especially why we had done so. I don't know how to describe the feeling. It was kind of disorienting, almost. I have no memory of any of it, but... when Violet explained things, it was almost like I could intuitively tell that what she was saying was true.

"At the same time, to learn about the things she had done... I wouldn't have believed it if it wasn't from her own mouth. It was like she was talking about a completely different person to the one I've known and loved."

Snow perked up as if being awoken out of a daydream. "At any rate, she hasn't acted up in any way. And if she does, I'll be sure to put her in her place," she jests, giving Janet's shoulder a squeeze.

"I tried talking her into being here. I think it'd be important for you two to clear the air. I'd understand if you didn't want to, but she weaseled her way out of it anyways." Part of her felt like maybe it was for the better. Still, she didn't want to give up trying, but some things are best left for later days.

Janet thought about what she would have done. She wasn't sure if she was willing to forgive Violet. She wondered if she ever could. If it wasn't for her, Rachel never would have left.

Yet... Janet knew she was equally to blame for everything that happened. Was it fair to still hold it all against Violet? Especially if she was trying to be better, as Snow seemed to suggest.

"There's... another reason I had asked you to meet with me today. Of course, I wanted to check in on you, make sure you were doing OK, but..."

Janet looked up at Snow as she took her second hesitant bite, curious at what she was going to ask. Snow stared back, looking uncertain.

"We were wondering if we could borrow the program."

Janet's eyes widened in shock as she stopped chewing.

"It's just... don't get me wrong, I love spending time with Violet, but... that's not a very fair comparison to how things could feel with the device. We'd just like to borrow it to, you know... spice things up a bit." She tried to read Janet, hoping she wouldn't mind.

Janet shrunk back into her seat, placing the remainder of the sandwich back on the plate. "When I first woke up, I didn't realize she had gone yet..."

Snow's heart sank. "Look, Janet... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. We can talk about something else. Um... do you plan on keeping your hair like that? I think it looks great on you, but maybe I'm biased."

Janet brought her hand up to grab at some of her hair, pulling it towards her field of vision. She studied the green color, memories of Violet dyeing it coming to her mind, all so she could better seduce Snow all that time ago. She continued to speak, still looking at the green strands that she twirled around her fingers. "I looked around the house, thinking maybe she had just gone off to do something else. Maybe she had just left a surprise for me, like I had done for her at the start.

"She wasn't in her room, but I still didn't think much of it at that point. I saw her diary on the floor. The one secret she ever kept from me... If I had known about that diary, I could have prevented all this grief."

"Janet..." She was disappointed in herself for allowing their conversation to drift back to this gloomy topic.

"I was telling myself not to look. I could feel it in my stomach that I wasn't going to like what I saw if I picked the diary up. Despite that, I still went ahead. I skimmed through the pages..." Janet stopped talking as she thought back on the scene.

Breaking the short silence, Snow asked, "What did you find?" There was a different look in Janet's eyes that unnerved her. She still looked sad, but there was something else, as if she had come to an understanding at this very moment.

"The pages that mentioned anything about my program had been torn out. I knew then that she was gone, and that she's never coming back." Snow moved to reassure her, but Janet pushed her back. "She wants to forget it all, to move on. That's why she destroyed the pages, the only physical proof of what I had done to her. Maybe... maybe if I just hadn't told her that I loved using it on her... maybe that's what scared her away... but I'll never know now."

"You loved controlling Rachel?" Snow was surprised by the revelation. She had only ever really known Janet as Violet's slave until recently. Now Violet's description of what was in Rachel's diary was starting to make sense.

Janet closed her eyes with another deep breath. When she opened them, she turned to Snow with a resolute look. "I hope you can understand my reluctance in giving either of you access to the device."

The statement brought Snow out of deep thought. When she realized what Janet had said, Snow could only nod.

"It's more than that, though. I thought about using it on myself, make myself forget it all. Forget the program, forget Melanie, forget... Rachel..." A lump formed in her throat, halting her speech. "I could go on with my life, maybe even be happy. I could move on from things, just like Rachel is now." Janet looked almost hopeful at the thought.

"I couldn't bring myself to do it though. I'd rather deal with the pain than lose the memory of her. Even changing how I feel about the memory seems wrong. That's why I think it's better if I just destroy it." She stared hard at the table, confident in her decision. She had wavered before, but saying it out loud was able to solidify her conviction.

Snow leaned away in shock. "Janet, I understand what you're feeling, but don't you think that might be a little drastic?"

"No," Janet responded, turning to Snow once again. "That device brings nothing but grief. It never should have been made. I... I have to destroy it, before it hurts someone else." Her voice was firm.

Snow was speechless, caught off guard by Janet's change in attitude.

"Thank you for lunch, Snow, and for the company. I really do appreciate that. If you don't mind, though, I need to get home. I..." she said, pausing. "I know what I have to do now." Uncertainty once again gripped her, but she pushed past it.

Snow got up to let Janet out of the seat. As Janet began walking by, she reached out and grabbed her arm. "Janet, wait. Come by my house before you do that, please. With the device. Just hear what I have to say there. If I still can't convince you about it, then... I'll help you destroy it myself. Can you do that for me? Please?" She waited nervously for the reply.

Janet studied Snow, trying to figure out what she was up to, what she wanted to say. "I'll think about it..." she answered. She turned to leave, her head as low as it was when she entered the restaurant.

Snow watched her depart. When she was lost to the crowd, she turned back to the table, holding her head in her hands. She closed her eyes, ruminating on what Janet had told her.

***

"You really think your plan will work?" Violet asked as she leaned against the poster of the bed, watching Snow.

"I don't know, but... it's worth a shot." Snow was pacing the room, her hand cradling the back of her neck.

"And what if she doesn't even show up?"

"Then I guess it doesn't matter. We'll find some other way. Until that's decided, though, can I count on you?"

Violet pushed herself away from the bed post. She walked towards Snow with a sultry look, swaying her hips with purpose. When Snow saw this, she stopped and stared at Violet, a look of fear and excitement in her eyes at the absolute confidence that Violet was giving off.

Violet grabbed Snow by the arm. She pulled on it with a twist, bringing it behind Snow's back, causing Snow to spin around and lean against Violet's chest. She reached up to grab Snow by the throat, holding firm. "We could just forget about her," Violet said in between carefully-placed kisses on Snow's neck. "Give me just five minutes in bed and I'll make sure you don't even remember her name. What do you say?"

Snow closed her eyes, moaning in response to Violet's roughness. She reached up to hold Violet's hand tighter against her throat, grinding her ass against Violet's crotch. "I say..." she began, her voice full of desire. She craned her neck back, placing her mouth as close as she could reach towards Violet's ear. When Violet leaned in, she whispered, "answer the question."

With a laugh, she pushed away from Violet, performing a small twirl.

Violet folded her arms with a pout. "Fine," she said, huffing, "but I don't like it."

"We've been over this. Don't worry," Snow said, trying to reassure Violet. It had taken a lot of convincing. Violet had been so adamant against her plan. "If I'm right about her, then I'll make sure to make you very happy afterwards." She walked towards Violet, mimicking the same look she was given earlier. She reached up, pulling Violet in, and kissed her.