Dreams of Her

"When Director Acosta assigned me to this case, frankly I didn't expect much more than a simple recovery."

The agent spoke into a tape recorder - an old habit of his. He and Acosta went back decades, and he'd hoped nothing serious would come out of this latest assignment. Missing person, no identification, search inconclusive after 72 hours, bizarre tracks, all the good stuff - so the DOJ tossed it to his Division, who tossed it to Acosta, who tossed it to him. Per protocol, the recording he kept would need to either be sealed or destroyed following the closure of the case at hand.

Yet with the evidence present he surmised that it would be a long while before this recording would be thrown down the memory hole. The notes on the table were copies of copies, but they still bled the same deranged text onto the page. The Division had seen things like this before - but usually their authors trailed off into nothing, disappeared, and no one heard of them again. Rarely would they return, even rarer would they stay. Never before however, would they bring something with them like this.

Now with the park shut down, the Division could handle the issue more effectively. "This should be the beginning of the end of this case, if my instincts serve." His voice was higher than one would expect looking at him, and far more nasal. He was older than he thought he'd ever be - when he first joined nearly six decades earlier, he guessed that the work with the Division would leave him dead by forty.

But each year passed, and the close brushes became less frequent. Each time he worked, he got a little better, quicker, brighter, smoother - more careful. In this case he was hesitant to even walk into the park. He let the junior agents do the scans before he took one step onto the field.

"As I'm recording, forty-five days ago, an unidentified person was located near Aqua Peak at Coxcomb Mountains in San Bernardino County, California - a lone hiker located the person, reported them to park rangers. Hiker reported that they could not see the individual clearly enough to provide a physical description beyond a description of what the unidentified person was wearing. They stated the person was wearing grey gloves, a small black backpack with a canteen hung on it - later found by search and rescue, a red sweatshirt with a hood, and torn blue jeans."

The agent cleared his throat and picked up the report he was reading off of to read the letters more clearly

"Park rangers returned to where hiker had reported last seeing the unidentified person, coordinates 34°00'50"N 115°26'25"W."

He paused, making sure he read it aloud correctly,

"Park rangers were able to locate a campsite assumed to belong to the unidentified person. Several sheets of paper with handwritten notes were found at the campsite - following this, park rangers notified local emergency services, with a full sweep of the park initiated."

He flipped the page over and continued reading aloud into the microphone,

"After an evacuation of the park, search teams and aerial drones were dispatched. No individuals were located at 24 hours following initial report, however additional notes were found, along with tracks that indicated a trajectory towards the southernmost point of the range."

He eyed the map of the park - his own lines were scribbled over it - red for all the person's confirmed tracks, blue for the perimeter, and green for where he'd originally suspected they'd show up. A black square marked their eventual destination.

"The unidentified individual left several sets of tracks, all with a consistent footprint. Division estimates that these sets form meaningful lines and symbols, however analysis is still ongoing to determine specific identification."

He pushed his finger down on the pause button, before nodding and releasing his hand,

"It is in my opinion that these symbols match those found outside Mount Pleasant, Mississippi and Tanwell, Minnesota. Unlike the aforementioned cases, the case at hand has left a Class A Object. Until further notice, Joshua Tree National Park will be closed to the public. Removal or obstruction of the Class A is currently top priority for the division - and we expect project completion expected by October 8th of this year."

He set aside the first two sheets of paper, picked up the next and read on.

"Search parties continued to find more evidence of the unidentified person having travelled from the southernmost point of the Coxcomb Mountains to the easternmost point of the Eagle Mountains. Tracks suggested that the unidentified person travelled during daylight hours due to the distance between the two points, however search teams and drone recordings report no persons in the space between the Coxcomb and Eagle ranges during that period. At 72 hours missing, no further tracks were found, person assumed to be dead. Notes continued to appear, however, leading to the discovery of the Class A object. The Case was then immediately forwarded to the Department of Justice, which referred it to D3."

The papers he was reading from then took on a different hue - the Division's documents were always made thicker, made with a dark brown fiber.

"Field agents reported to Joshua Tree National Park, completing a polyspectral scan of the region. Higher-than-average counts of ϛ-particles indicated to the agents that the unidentified person had likely translocated. Recovered notes also had high ϛ count - laboratory scans showed an ambient Fernhaus radiation at 900% S-Gate levels."

The agent cleared his throat,

"For those reading this who are unacquainted with pseudo-particles, I'll clarify. In layman's terms, we knew the person was phasing in and out of our reality. Such activity is normally incredibly dangerous; however the unidentified person was either unharmed or not hindered by this."

He raised the notes he had yet to read to the microphone, letting it record the flutter of the pages. He pressed stop on the recorder, took out the tape, took a sharpie and wrote down "Case JT, Recording 12"

He took another tape from his drawer and popped it into the recorder. The remaining sheets of paper were copies of the notes the unidentified individual had left. He looked them over, and began reading aloud into the microphone,

"Division tried to put together a narrative from the notes. We are not certain at this time whether the unidentified person is the author of the notes, however. Notes A through D were found at the campsite first located on the date the unidentified person was reported. The following is a reading of Note A."

He cleared his throat before speaking,

"You know, I think back to that dream from a long while ago. I don't know when exactly it was, but it was at least four years ago. Possibly more. I remember only the one moment, at the end, looking down from above, looking at a woman, seeing her eyes and knowing I loved her...

"I don't know who the woman was, I can't know. I will spend eternity searching for her if I try. But, what else can one do but look for the imaginary, panning through the rivers and gulfs for something, for someone. I wonder why I find curly hair prettier than straight sometimes. Why earrings make me smile. Why I see some people and want to hug them - they remind me of her."

The agent set down the paper, paused the recording, and picked up the next note, and pressed play after a couple seconds. He spoke,

"End Note A. The following is a reading of Note B."

"It felt real enough - I was surprised that I was dreaming upon awakening. She sat her head on my shoulder, and I moved a little to accommodate. She asked me if she was getting in the way of my work. I smiled and said "not at all" so she kissed the side of my head. I turned and returned a kiss on her cheek. She felt soft and smooth, and she pet my side, making me feel smiley. We cuddled on the bench I was sitting on, and eventually kissed a few more times, then a few more, before she giggled and hugged me tightly. I felt happier, then we kissed once on the lips, and she made a joke about how her arm was pulling tightly enough to have my skin wrap around her fingers.

"I remember the warmth of her skin as her hands wrapped around my head. That night she looked like a woman I knew - she was wearing a dark brown sweater, I forget the fabric, but it was textured, with vertical grooves going down her body. It was loose on her, and between us it felt like a blanket. I wish I hadn't needed to wake up. I will see her again soon."

A click from the recorder, then another.

"End Note B. The following is a reading of Note C."

"Her name is on the tip of my tongue, so I will chase the tip of my tongue through the night. I'll walk - I'll follow it, feel it, let it guide me. I spoke all the names of the women She'd taken the form of, and every time I'd walk where my tongue pointed. Each time I said Her name, I felt closer - like I was talking to Her, with Her. But I don't see Her in dreams very often. Maybe once in every few weeks.

"She has come to me fifteen times, in my dreams - but now I've seen women twice just walking around the City. They looked at me with Her same eyes. She is pulling me in closer, I know it, but these are dreams, at the end of the day."

Another double click.

"End Note C. The following is a reading of Note D."

"What's the shrine? I think we all know what the shrine is, we've all been there.

"As I was waking up this morning, minutes before I woke up - I could feel myself losing the connection to the dream. I was in a verdant green past the edge of the City. It was there - half-buried by vines and lit only by the few golden streams of light which broke the canopy of trees above me - that I saw it for the first time. I had fashioned it in my own mind, I knew. But it felt real, realer than it should've. It was waiting for me, I feel like I'd already been though. I know that this morning was the first time that I had BEEN there, but I felt déjà vu. I felt like there was another time I'd been, but I don't remember almost anything of that time - not the smell, the sight, no sounds, nothing. Except for that same sensation which swept over me this morning.

"When I saw Her for the first time, I felt it a little, then again and again. I felt it palpably there, like a blanket on top of me. A pure wave of docility and relaxation followed by something else.

"But the else didn't get to me yet. I couldn't help but to walk forward towards Her, although I didn't see Her yet. The trespass into the place was two shoulders wide, and very, very tall. A narrow slit, cut into the temple-mound, it let me pass within. As I did, my shadow was cast upon a pool on the floor - it glowed in the shimmering golden rays that penetrated the canopy into the shrine. I could smell that the place was home to something red. I could feel the warmth of the water below me radiating onto my skin."

Click. Click.

"End Note D."

The Agent paused and set aside a notecard of his - it had found its way into the stack of papers he was reading. It demarcated when the next set of notes were found. He took a drink from the glass on the table, enjoying the refreshing sensation of ice water running down his throat. He let his lips dry off before continuing his recording.

"End Note D. Notes E through F were found 6 hours after the search for the unidentified person was initiated, roughly 1.5 miles south of the aforementioned campsite. The following is a recording of Note E."

"There were others there - perhaps the red that I smelled was the ropes which bound them, contorting them in a delicious menagerie of skin. All shades and textures, human and beyond splayed out in a presentation of sensual flesh. They weren't there for me though. They could care less for this visitor. They were there for Her. They were tending to Her.

"She was then a goddess - with one head, two legs, four arms, and two breasts. All this was held together by skin that shifted in the light - it glowed in my eyes. What did I mean by tending - two servants, I thought they were female, were laid on Her lap. Their mouths were sucking on Her breasts, and their arms were wrapped around Her, massaging Her back while she sat there statuesque. Two more - one male, one I was unsure of at the distance, were bound by Her legs engaging in some ritual where they continually kissed across Her thighs. They looked like chickens pecking desperately for nourishment.

"Another few pairs worked Her backside, all their hands forming a mesh of skin atop Hers, moving, gently brushing or pushing Her body in adulation. There are some whose faces were buried in Her, working wonders I can only imagine at this distance. The one at her front She whisked aside. The woman who was previously smothered between Her legs pulls her tongue out - she was either alien or altered, as her tongue was far longer than any I'd seen before. The poor woman must have been tired, as she sunk blissfully into the pool.

"She beckons me, spreading Her legs wide - showing me exactly where I needed to be. I walked forward, but each step covered less and less and less ground.

"She grew so far away and I awoke. I was left only with the feeling just as when I saw Her for the first time - docility, relaxation, followed by purest, insatiable, desire."

The recorder clicked twice,

"End Note E. The following is a reading of Note F."

"I walked far from the city. Very far. So far that it was no longer green, but grey-brown. There was a faint taste in the air. It was Her taste. I don't know how I knew it was Hers, I had never tasted her. I don't know how it got on my lips, but I knew it was hers. And I followed it.

"It got stronger the farther and farther out I walked. The farther I walked from the city, the stronger it got. The world turned beige, I was no longer somewhere grey, but somewhere familiar now. The grey was the road, now I was in some plain, a field maybe. I saw a black spot on the horizon. I saw, in the distance - Her form. She was beckoning me again. She only had two arms this time, as She had before my last encounter. I can't say which is the true form of Hers, because they are both truly Her.

"The form She takes, that's irrelevant. There's a sensation of Her-ness that strikes me to my core every time I look. We must've been a few miles apart, but as she raised Her head and my eyes met Hers... in that instant the gap was bridged. She put Her hand underneath my chin. The skin there is soft, clean - always. She pushed my head aside to take a look at my cheek. She planted a kiss there. Her hand went from under my chin, across my cheek, to my hair. She brushed Her hand through it a few times.

"There was no force behind Her hand, but I was put on the ground in an instant by it. Bowed down by Her presence and kindness.

"I wanted to look up, but Her hand was still on my head. All I could see were Her thighs, her knees, her calves. She stepped around behind me, I felt Her hand still there brushing and scratching. I felt calm. But I wanted to do more. I wanted to do anything. I could feel it from behind me - a heartbeat, a source, a warmth, a red, pleasurable sensation, a taste, a smell. As I looked, I felt a hand - a second one - going down my back. As the sun rose, I knew that when I woke up I wouldn't be able to see Her again. The kindness She showed me and the joy I felt in that instance indebted me to Her. It couldn't be replayed in a thousand years of constant fawning and worship.

"So I will - lovingly - be Hers for seven thousand more."

The agent paused the recording, flipped a page, then resumed his reading,

"End Note F. Notes G through H were found at the southernmost peak of the Coxcomb Ridge after 27 hours of searching for the unidentified person. The following is a recording of note G."

"I was out in the desert again. I left the City because what I was looking for wasn't there. This time I had brought my flashlight. It got very dark, very fast. I wasn't hungry, the car had a lot of gas, so I drove even further, until there was no sign of anything except for me and the mountains.

"I think it was north, based on the fauna and all that. Maybe it was by Joshua, actually. But in either case, I saw a distant light out in the desert. I followed it - it didn't move, it was shining from a peak in the distance. I shut my eyes and opened them, and I was at the same thin egress I dreamt of nearly a year ago. It was that shrine to Her. I have been here before, but only as a visitor, seeing for an instant, then leaving as wakefulness hits me.

"Before Her is that pool, and around Her there are dark figures hung by ropes from the ceiling. She had been with them since last I was here. She doesn't speak to me - I still don't have a name for Her, but She outstretches all four of Her arms towards me, and as She does, the figures held by ropes descend from their bonds to the ceiling.

"She kisses my forehead, I drop my flashlight, She pulls me forward, snapping the ropes off the bound others - some are women, some are men, others have such a jumble of parts that I saw them as alien. Alien isn't the right word - it denotes some sort of ugliness, foreignness. All of them were beautiful, I salivated looking at them. Their skins ranged from either a polished and shining dark brown, to a porcelain shine, to a brass glow. I felt their hearts and mine, we were all Hers as long as we were here.

"She sat back down where She was when I entered. Her mere presence beckoned all of us - a subliminal command to beg for Her attention, please Her. I'm still hazily recalling it, but I remember the feeling of a hand on my cheek as I nuzzled Her thigh and began to mindlessly work - I remember that hand coming off with the sound of a kiss being released. Her hands had lips on their center. So did the others' hands, I remember. Calling the work mindless isn't right either - I felt my mind drifting away from the work - it was in stasis with all the others in the room. It didn't tell my body what to do, She did that for me.

"I remember looking up as She held my face to Her breast - She wouldn't release me, She wouldn't give me the grace of more than a slight smile. I felt new among veterans. Their skin was marked from the ropes and chains, their very being was marked from eons of pleasure in these shrines to Her. Between our hands and lips we could kiss every single inch of Her. I felt us do that several times; I remember feeling perfect - I was then a thing whose existence meant only one thing - Her pleasure."

The pile of papers was thinning, but the agent knew he had work still to be done. He clicked pause, flicked the paper aside, and began reading the next after he clicked it again,

"End Note G. The following is a reading of note H."

"Without warning She took me by my hair and raised me off the ground. It didn't hurt - Her hand in my hair relaxed me. The others worked on Her while I watched. She was our shrine and our duty to please. Her eyes danced across my body, examining it, like a prized item at an auction. Perhaps I was worth the tag on my collar. She smirked at me and allowed me to return to Her breasts. Time turned to putty there - somehow it melted faster than I did. I lost all sense of it - it could have been years there that I spent switching between plush mounds of flesh and mouths and lips of all kinds. But there was no light from outside yet. The world was still pitch black outside this sanctuary.

"She descended into Her pool, it was rectangular, large enough for Her to float on top with arms outstretched while we continued our good work. Some of them could breathe below the water, and they stayed under Her, what they did I couldn't see. She didn't need commands to direct me, I felt Her hands already tying mine behind my back. I sunk like a stone into the water, my mouth and face just barely out of the water, high enough to meet Her body and lick and kiss alongside all the others.