Mary scarcely recognized the woman in the mirror.
It wasn't the first time she'd felt that way over the past year; but this time, it was more than just the weight loss that made her stare at her own reflection with a bit of confusion. The woman in the mirror looked confident, sensual and attractive. Powerful, even. To a perennial wallflower like Mary, it was as if she'd accidentally walked in front of a doorway instead of a full-length mirror.
The costume did most of the work, really. The way the gauzy cloth wrapped around her, so thin in places that it was practically transparent, while in others layered and wound around her body until it obscured...Mary stared intently at her own crotch, trying to make absolutely sure that it did obscure what it was supposed to. She tried to hide a smile, knowing that the men in the audience would be doing exactly the same thing, but with entirely different motives.
That was if she danced at all tomorrow night. Mary still wasn't sure if she was going through with it. Her friends insisted that this would be the perfect chance to show off her newly-svelte body and all the dancing that had firmed up her muscles; but deep down, Mary felt like she was the kind of person who'd be more comfortable staring up from the darkness of the audience in rapt adoration at the dancer. (This year, she thought, lose ninety-five pounds. Next year, come out of the closet. After that, maybe she'd try climbing Everest.)
But she'd practiced the routine. She'd gone out and bought the costume, hunting around for hours in little out of the way shops and picking up second-hand jewelry and third-hand clothing and first-hand experience in haggling with little old ladies. Looking in the mirror, it all seemed to have paid off. Mary tucked a stray strand of dirty blonde hair behind her tiara, admiring the way the ruby in the middle seemed to glow as it caught the light. (Alright, the chunk of polished glass seemed to glow as it caught the light. Rubies didn't go for twenty bucks, no matter what that woman in the pawnshop tried to tell her.)
Now the only question was, would she dance?
Tonight, at least, the answer was yes. An audience of one didn't seem too threatening, especially not when the girl in the mirror would be dancing right along with her. Mary relaxed into the stance that now seemed to be second nature, letting her knees bend slightly and her arms hang loosely from her shoulders.
"Show respect to the Goddess," she whispered as she stretched out, getting her muscles loose. At first, Mary hadn't been totally at ease with some of the philosophy Madam Raisa had brought to the class. She'd just wanted to dance, not to become comfortable with her inner connection to her primal femininity. But even though Mary still thought it felt kind of, well...New Age-y, she had to admit that it helped her get into the dance to think of herself as connected to something larger, more powerful. Thinking of her body as an extension of a goddess helped soothe those stage jitters, just a bit. (But the very fact that she got stage jitters even when dancing alone in front of a mirror made her worry about trying to do a recital tomorrow.)