The shop was in a dusty back alley. I had to stoop to enter the wooden doorway which led into a gloomy interior. As my eyes adjusted I could see shelves of carvings, very common in Bali, but these were all erotic: women, men, animals and monsters in a breathtaking assortment of positions and combinations. Fascinated and aroused, I made my way deeper into the shop. The carvings further back seemed more sinuous, torturous and powerful. The subjects were twisted, their faces contorted with pain and pleasure. Some of the carvings almost seemed to writhe with actual movement.
As I bent to look more closely, an ancient man emerged from the deepest shadows of the shop. Like most Balinese he was short, his brown face laced with wrinkles, his beard long and white but his eyes were intense, dark and so alert they almost flashed.
"How I help you Sir?" His voice was surprisingly deep. He spoke slowly and although his accent was strong I could understand him easily.
"Ah... I was looking for a present for my wife..." I faltered under his penetrating stare.
"Something to her pleasure." He nodded to himself. Although it wasn't a question I answered.
"Yes... exactly."
Talking mostly to himself the old man continued. "But there is more. Your wife... she no longer gives you pleasure of her body."
My mouth was dry. "Well I wouldn't say that exactly... I mean we both still enjoy sex... it's just lately... she doesn't seem that keen..." I couldn't believe I was telling this old shopkeeper the details of my sex life. He just nodded again, his expression unchanged.
"You want grow her desire... make her fires burn hot down below."
This time I just nodded. I couldn't trust myself to speak. He moved closer. I would have stepped back but the shelf, loaded with wooden erotica, was right behind me.
"How hot? Hot like good wife should be or hot like she-monkey in mating time? Does she spread legs only for you or like street whore open for every stray dog who come sniffing her holes."
My heart was pounding. Somehow this old man had discerned my deepest, darkest fantasy, my secret desire to have my darling, faithful, gorgeous wife give herself willingly to other men. Before I could speak the old man gave one more solemn nod and made a strange gesture with his hand.
"Be it so." was all he said. He moved back into the shadows at the back of the shop. I heard the creak of a door opening and waited several long minutes. Finally he re emerged and handed me a long rectangular wooden box.
"This," he said, his voice sounding even deeper, "will do all you desire. If you certain, you use on your unfortunate wife at night but you warned... no toy, no trick, carving hold strong spirit, always hunger for body and mind. If you use you cannot go back."
This was getting way too weird. The old guy was clearly crazy. I should have handed back the box but it seemed easier just to pay and get the hell out. Also, in my defense, I was still feeling disoriented by the whole sexual impact of the place.
"How... " I had to clear my throat. "How much do I owe you?" The old man named a sum. It was a high price... especially in Bali where everything is so cheap. He also announced the price in such a firm way that I somehow knew the usual haggling was out of the question. I paid over the money, which was every note in my wallet, in fact exactly the sum I had in my wallet. Again that was weird. I thanked him, half bowed and quickly exited the shop.
My guide was waiting by his taxi at the end of the alley. He looked nervous. I managed a reassuring grin. The shop was all he had promised and more. I even bought him a beer before we wound our way back to the hotel.
I arrived at the hotel before Katy and the kids. Of course the first thing I did was open the box. Inside was a wooden dildo. It was large, long and thick, without being enormous. It was beautifully carved from a wood so dark it had an almost oily appearance. It was superbly realistic, but I felt a bit disappointed. What was I expecting? Certainly something more exotic and erotic than a plain wooden dildo.
I took it out of the box. The texture was pleasant... a little knobbly with carved veins but satin smooth. No splinters here. I found myself stroking it with my hand as though I was pleasuring my own penis. It felt good... exciting.