It's been nearly a month since I pseudo lost my virginity to James. A lot of things have changed. I have a bit more of a positive outlook on my new life. I would say I'm mostly accepting of who I am now despite some reservations. The problem is after my night of passion, Emma who I considered a good friend had withdrawn a lot. I think she feels as if she's done everything she morally should. She helped transition me into this life, even helped me avoid punishment but staring at the body of her tormentor finally seemed to hit. She hasn't blocked me but she rarely answers my texts, never answers my calls and only visited the morning after James purely to confirm her suspicions. The only time she messages me any more is when I update her on potential suitors, but for one reason or another they flake or I flake and she gets mad and replies less and less.
Unfortunately what hit me hardest this last month wasn't losing Em, it was losing James. I wasn't able to get hold of his contact details and he's made no effort to reach out to me. I wasn't upset either regarding it, it would have been nice to have a friend who could help me with my urges whilst also enjoying my passions of gaming and anime. No what hit harder was how much I loved the idea that I was just a cheap fuck. That I was the one-use meat toilet that he had to stoop to.
That memory has been fueling my renaissance. I've become comfortable enough to be more 'me'. My online activities haven't been limited to lurking and small posts. I've become a lot more active speaking with people and 'taking requests'. Em was actually the one to recommend this site, as part of her final part to play in helping me adjust. She thought if I was to live a life of confidence and action I would need to build some and heading here would give me the validation I needed to avoid any undue punishment.
If you had asked me two months ago would I have been comfortable enough posting sexy pictures of myself. Well I think I'd be still in the babbling mess phase but it's been quite a rapid evolution.
I've been speaking quite frequently with a user called "KinkKing69". He's been instrumental in my activities. When I first came across his message I assumed it'd be another message of abuse but it was different. It was an eloquent telling of the numerous ways he'd make use of me. I don't know why but it spoke out to me. The situations ranging from using me and ravaging my worthless pussy, to how he would tie me to his toilet during a party and let everyone know that I was to be the replacement.
Realistically I was playing fast and loose, I had thrown care out the window and decided to focus on this new life I made. Maybe I was swapping one coping mechanism for another in terms of looking for Emma for support to KinkKing for validation, but it felt good to please him one way or another.
He had me describe my encounter with James in detail. He was quite inquisitive, it was strange. It was like he knew it was my first time, but knew it wasn't this body's first time? He had me show him various pictures, poses, outfits and toys. This online "flirtation" eventually reached a point of satisfaction for him, he messaged me informing me that I had the honour of serving him as a slave and without hesitation I accepted.
Bravely or foolishly I had given him access to my personal number, so he could message me at any time. I can't recall the number of times during my break where I was blushing rosy red from his suggestive comments. Today was no different, he had sent me a flurry of texts telling me how he was gonna use and abuse me and my holes. How a slutty little sex pig like me deserved it. He'd send a new task each day, sometimes small like go to work with degrading writing on my body hidden under my clothes, record videos fingering my hairy pussy or sometimes I'd have to ask permission for certain tasks that day. Last week I had to ask permission to eat, which he'd only let me do out of a dog bowl, on Monday and Tuesday I had to receive content to pee, I think he knew that I'd try and drink as little as possible and when it was time for me to relieve myself, he'd deny me access to a bathroom and told me that I can go ahead and wet myself. When I did I'd send pictures to further embarrass myself.
Last week I went further, he informed me that as his slave I could have no secrets and he wanted me to talk in detail about my life. I panicked. My life consists of 28 years in one body and 2 months in another. Somehow I had felt so comfortable that I even told him about the Old Raven. I didn't think he'd believe me, I'm not sure if he does. But whether he believes or just allows it as part of our little Roleplay it's relieving for some reason. Another person knows the true me, all levels of who I am and what I've lived through. I think the information works for him too. He was just spending time online doing sexy roleplay but suddenly now he had purpose, his sporadic messages which were more or less fantasies had changed, he was more demanding, more involved in wanting to see me go further.
He told me to send a video where I read out my questionnaire that I had filled out detailing all of my kinks. He would take great delight in those parts especially, talking about how I clearly wished for all of it, how that no one would ignore something like this. How I must have been in the closet, yearning for dick and how lucky I was I got to experience it in the best way and worst of all how if I ever met my former self I should thank him. Thank him for allowing me to live my true deserved life. He had me hang up post-it notes and posters around my flat saying "Thank Raven", a constant reminder of who did this to me.
These messages, more than any other, really stirred something inside me. It tickled that submissive itch that had either been implanted in me magically or was always there just waiting.
Today was a little different, normally I'd wake at 6:30am and wait by phone for a morning verification message which arrived sometime between wake up and 7. It was usually just a simple affirmation text to say I was awake and ready to serve but this morning, it had just rolled past 8 and I was yet to be messaged. Deciding to take the initiative, I spread my legs wide revealing my pussy, I used my dildo to begin penetrating myself and took a picture. Sending it across with the message "Good Morning Master. I am ready to serve."
I eagerly await a reply, it's not lost on me how far I've fallen. Two months ago and I could barely put myself out with a body I in retrospect liked and now with a body that I somehow loathe yet love, I'm willing to go to great lengths to humiliate myself.
A buzz of my phone and I immediately look for the reply. "Good. You dirty little fuck pig. I've got a surprise for you today, but first. Head to the bathroom, I want you to piss into a bowl and pour it over your body. You have 1 hour." I don't have much time to prepare, I do the first thing I can think of which is to immediately slam a pint of water. A quick check of my phone to find ways of acting fast, a lot seem to be housewife tales such as chewing peppermint gum or waving around sage. A few ones I settle on are pressing gently on my bladder and leaning forward whilst moving my tummy off my legs. Every few minutes I force myself to drink more, and before too long I can feel myself ready to go.
I found a large mixing bowl that I think might be the easiest to use, so I set up my phone to get a good vantage point. I'm sure Master would be displeased if I didn't prove that it came from the source. I hit the record button, there was a good twenty to thirty second delay before I finally became comfortable enough to relieve myself. Time seemed to stretch and shorten on a whim, one moment it felt like it was endless, the next it felt like no time had passed at all. Scurrying over the floor I grab the phone and place it in the shower, lodging it in between some shampoo and shower gel to keep it still. I retrieve the mixing bowl of freshly prepared urine. Raising it above my head, I tilt and pour. My warm piss rolled down my body, my mouth agape taking in a fair amount. The salty bitter taste caressed my tongue, I began massaging my body treating it like I was just showering normally albeit a bit seductively. When the bowl was empty, and my mouth was full. I walked to the camera, showing the interior of my mouth before swallowing it whole. I grab a nearby towel to dry my hands so I can send my recording.
Master responds soon after. "Good. Your performance amuses me." I think to reply back but I see he's not finished messaging me. Unfortunately, a knock on the door catches my attention. I don't really have time to clean myself up so I grab a towel and wrap it around myself, hopefully I can just play it off. I get to the door as a second and third knocking can be heard. I look at my phone to see the message. "Answer the door."
Time stops. It was easy when it was a game behind a screen, it was fun and exciting. Now it's about to become reality. That leap, was I prepared to take it? Was I ready? Between Raven, James and now this I'd be going through multiple life changing events in rapid succession. My hand was on the handle. Pulling down would arguably be the stupidest most dangerous thing I've ever done in either of my lives, so why was I this close. I took a deep breath, every logical aspect that I had inside me told me that this wasn't the way to do it, that I had to be safer. But the presence inside me, the fuckpig, dirty sex starved cow had become a bigger part of me than I anticipated and it wanted to pull. It got its wish. The door crept open slowly but surely, I instinctively looked down towards my feet.
A familiar chuckle, a familiar voice responded to my actions. "Well, if it isn't 'Raven'?" I look up. It's me. It's who I was. It's Raven in my body. I take a step back, my hands clutched so tightly against my towel as if it was the last shred of hope and protection. He walked in, closing the door behind him. A soft evil smile on his face.
A thousand, no, a million words began rushing to my mind but with so much static it was hard to formulate a sentence. I wasn't prepared, I didn't know what to say so I just let the words escape, whatever words could escape. "Thank you." No wait, fuck! Not those words! They sounded so sincere, so genuine.
My old body laughed. "You're welcome Raven". He walked into the room, looking around. "Your place has been such a shit hole, a proper sty for our little fuck pig," Hearing that I was dumbfounded. This was your place! This was your body! How can you treat it like this? He looked at me almost expectantly. My confusion was probably not difficult to see. He walked towards me. A small glint of anger in his eyes. Standing tall in front of me, I couldn't tell if my own height and perspective made him look taller than I was or if he had done some magical renovations on his own body.
