My wife and I met in high school and just clicked right from the start. I guess we were right because we were married for 38 years. We never had children. It wasn't for not trying, I can't imagine any two people being much more active sexually. At first we were happy to be "lucky". Later, by the time we started checking and discovered I was the problem, we just accepted it. I pretty much shoot blanks. A few sperm but not very active. I can't pretend it didn't bother me to learn that, made me wonder about my masculinity. But Ellie seduced me often and made me realize that sex was as good as ever.
A new family moved into our neighborhood, where we had lived about fifteen years by then. They had a baby girl. They were a dysfunctional family. I think she's nuts and he's an alcoholic. They argue loudly, she throws things. I don't know whether she went nuts in reaction to his drinking or he drinks because she's nuts. Whatever, as their little girl grew up some, she started spending a lot of time with us. We began to think we were raising her more than her own parents, which was probably good for the kid.
As time went on her parents stayed in their loud, combative marriage and the girl, Diane, was at our place doing her home work, learning about cooking, learning about life. I think we both thought of her as almost our daughter. She even spent the night fairly often.
Then Ellie died. She had a bad heart for quite a while but her death was a surprise. I came in from doing some yard work and she was laying on the kitchen floor. The paramedics came and all that but she was dead. The truth is, Diane and I helped each other to cope with it. Diane was fifteen by then.
Diane still was around a lot. I helped her with homework, she helped in all kinds of ways around the house. When questions came up about boys and dating, I tried to be sane about it. Truth is, Ellie had always handled those areas and I was a little uncomfortable. But I tried to be honest and truthful. Years went by.
I knew Diane was very interested in sexual things. Most young girls are, I imagine. We had talked about it. But one day I got a shock.
Diane's about to graduate from high school. She's eighteen. She tells me she had sex with her boy friend. He used a condom. The whole thing just didn't go that well. She didn't enjoy it. It hurt. It was over fast. What was so great about sex anyway, she wondered. Here she had built this all up in her mind, had spent hours at the computer looking at porn, and when she tried it, she didn't like it.
I wasn't too sure I could handle this. I suggested maybe she should talk with someone else. She wanted to know who. Ellie was gone, her parents were definitely not right. Some teacher she really didn't know that well? A minister, that she wasn't really sure she trusted anyway? So I buckled down and tried to deal with it.
I'd only been with one female in my life, Ellie, as I told her. Back in high school, we started like most kids, making out a little and then slowly feeling each other some, gradually getting to masturbating each other. Then oral sex. I know Ellie liked that because she started it and over the years she probably had me in her mouth as often as in her vagina. And I know I liked it. Liked receiving it. But I also liked doing it. I liked seeing her naked, loved her whole body, seeing her pussy, feeling it's shapes with my fingers and my tongue. I liked her taste. And I loved to give her an orgasm, realize I could give her that much enjoyment. So we did that a lot. Even once we moved on to intercourse, we still did oral a lot.
I told Diane all this and suggested that maybe she knew too much, moved to fast without going through the preliminary steps. Rape probably can't be fun and just moving to fucking immediately is almost like rape. You need to build up to it. She asked a lot about oral sex, that seemed to intrigue her. Maybe she needs to talk to her boyfriend about it, I suggested. She decided she'd try again and see if they couldn't both do things so they both end up enjoying it more.
That night, in bed, I thought about sex. Ellie and I had sex often but when she died I accepted that sex was over for me and I really didn't even think about it much. Of course with ads and TV programs and such no one can completely avoid it. But Diane talking about sex made me realize that she's a very attractive young woman now. I always thought of her as a skinny little kid but she has breasts and a butt now. She's still slim but very much female. And she's no longer a virgin. I couldn't help thinking of her and sex.
Like every week day, the next morning I got up and went to work. It put sex out of my mind again. The same the next several days. Then Diane came around again. I hadn't seen her for three or four days. It turns out, she talked to her boy friend and in no way would he even think about licking her pussy. He apparently was willing for her to suck his cock and fuck her but that was that. So she broke up with him and didn't have sex with him a second time.
She was upset. She wanted to experience really great sex like she'd heard about. I made the only suggestion I could think of, that she needed a new boy friend. Of course, her reaction was, just how do I go about finding a new boy friend? Go around the school cafeteria asking guys if they'd like to lick her pussy? I then went into a bit about love and that just plain sex wasn't really what life is all about, you need to have feelings for each other, that sex is better as part of love.
Her reaction surprised me. She claimed that was old fashioned. Today, women are free and they want to enjoy sex when they want. To make sure they can earn a living when the bastard male dumps them with a couple kids, they need to go to college, learn how to make a living, then hook up seriously with a guy and marriage and babies. Then, when he walks out, she can at least make sure she and the kids can get along. In the meantime, the woman needs to be sexually satisfied. Love isn't part of it, just good sex.
I told her I thought she might be wrong, that love makes it all much better. But I had to admit that I had only been with one woman in my life, Ellie. So if I'm wrong and she's right, then, yes, maybe she does go around school asking guys if they'll eat her.
