So, yeah, I'm an idiot. I'd managed to stay at the unpaid intern job twice as long as anything I'd worked at before, and then I went and fucked everything up by grabbing the CFO's ass in the elevator, and then arguing him into letting me give him a blowjob in his office instead of going out to dinner. I have some weird defense mechanisms. I was considering the dwindling likelihood of getting through the next 10 months at the job, as I drove into the annex overflow parking lot and began my hike up to the main building. Parking spots reserved for interns are more of a punishment than an honor.
Forrester was stuck in my head. He'd surprised me. He hadn't turned my ass-grab into something to leverage against me, but instead he'd taken care of me. Why? It wasn't even his coffee that spilled on my sweater. He had a whole stack of shirts in that cabinet and he'd given me the Charvet. Was he trying to impress me with money? It didn't seem likely. If anything, I'd shown how much our differences were a chip on my shoulder. Well, one of the chips, anyway. And when I told him that I didn't like being touched by strangers, instead of getting defensive or entitled, he just went with it and didn't push me for what he wanted instead.
The guy had power, discipline, and patience. He could have humiliated me and made a slave out of me with any one of those advantages, but he didn't. Instead, it felt like he was using them to play chess with me, and my pieces were my pain, my walls and my anxieties... all the things that kept me safe. Why? What did he hope to gain? A fucked up young woman that gave good head? We're a dime a dozen - and we certainly don't stay young. Forrester seemed smarter than that, but I guess some people never learn to look out for themselves.
Ten more months at my job and I could get control of the trust fund and get the hell away from people. Ten more months and I didn't have to feel like I would disappoint people no matter how much I wanted to be different. I was tired. I was only 23, but I was tired, and I began to worry that maybe I wasn't just tired. Maybe too much had happened to me... maybe I no longer could bounce back from things. What if my past had hardened and solidified around me, defining me forever? What if, even if I did somehow get away from people, what if I had become so worn that nothing would ever change again... and then nothing would get better. Fuck. I was too young to be this old.
I put my stuff into my cubicle cabinet and booted up my laptop. Besides lunch madness, I expected only 6 food deliveries today, but I couldn't remember if I had one coming in 15 minutes or in 45. I pulled up my calendar and relaxed a little. I had 45 minutes before I started filling rooms with food that would mostly go uneaten.
Then, I noticed it. On my desk was a clay vase, like something in the break room cupboards left over from a flower delivery that was made to show one of my socially-attached co-workers that they were loved or wanted. There were no flowers in it now, though. There was a stick. Figures. Loved people got flowers, I got a stick. Morning wood for the amazing cock-sucking girl.
A notice popped up on my screen that I'd gotten a chat message from "Forrester, Gregory" and my stomach flipped and said 'yay!' My brain told my stomach to go eat something and shut up. My stomach said it wanted to go eat Forrester again. My heart ducked down and pretended not to be home. My brain told me to open the damn chat already.
Forrester, Gregory: Good morning...
Good morning? What is that supposed to mean? What do I do with 'good morning?' Who the fuck says 'good morning' anymore? And what's with that ellipsis? Shit!
Sherwood, Gillian: Good morning, sir
Forrester, Gregory: Sir... hmm
Sherwood, Gillian: Sorry, your ellipsis threw me off. That, and you're supposed to be ignoring me.
Forrester, Gregory: I did ignore you. All night. I'm done now.
Sherwood, Gillian: Well done, sir. Very efficient.
Forrester, Gregory: That's two sirs, now. Did you see what I left you?
Sherwood, Gillian: You left me the stick?
Forrester, Gregory: I did.
Sherwood, Gillian: Okay?
Forrester, Gregory: It needs to be misted daily and the water changed every few days.
Sherwood, Gillian: I'm not good at taking care of things.
Forrester, Gregory: I am... and I have faith in you.
Sherwood, Gillian: Why am I doing this, sir?
Forrester, Gregory: That's three... I'm tempted to think you're trying to negate past events with imposed formality. You're doing this because sometimes things bloom when taken out of their comfort zone.
Sherwood, Gillian: Yeah... or they just die.
Forrester, Gregory: Nice ellipsis. As I said, I have faith in you. Have a good day.
His status changed to "offline" and that was the end of our chat. I looked over at the stick, feeling a little lost. Did he get it himself? Just go out and cut a branch off something and fill up a vase? It was just so strange. I couldn't imagine Trudy doing it for him, so he must have done it. I shook my head, imagining the company's CFO wandering around the intern slums with a stick in a vase trying to find my cubicle.
I looked around my workspace, wondering how it had looked to Forrester. It utterly devoid of any personal effects except the piece paper with my name printed on it that someone slid into the Plexiglass name holder on the wall. Verdana font. I looked up at it and blinked in surprise. In pen, next to my name, someone had drawn a picture of the stick, only this one was covered with leaves and flowers in bloom. Each pen stroke was light, but confident, as if the drawing had been done as a quick afterthought, but drawn with a deftly skilled hand having decades of practice. It was whimsical and effervescent, like someone old that felt new. Why would someone like that have faith in me? I told myself that it didn't matter. I needed to deliver food.
At lunch, I loaded the cart with all the food deliveries and began making the rounds, heading to the C-level first. It's actually a tricky job because so many people feel obligated to make chit-chat with you. I don't know if it's an "I need to think I'm above class distinctions" thing, or a "I like the way your tits look when you bend over and push the cart" thing, but chit-chat with everyone will really screw up your delivery timing. My trick is to avoid chit-chat altogether by pretending to be on a call with someone that is actually a book on tape. If the call appears urgent enough, the person getting their food will be happy enough with just a smile and nod or wave. Well, most people, anyway.