Dana had been a paramedic for many years and thought he had heard and seen it all. That all changed while doing a routine transport from the county nursing facility to a dialysis center.
It was a warm summer day with the sun shining brightly. A few cumulus clouds drifted lazily across the cheerful blue sky. This was the time of year when being a paramedic was the best job in the world. Cruising the strip and looking at girls, lunch at a sidewalk hot dog cart, ice cream dessert and low call volume made for low stress days.
As much as he hated the scut work, Dana was smiling as he and his partner wheeled the pleasant little old lady out to the ambulance. She wasn't really that old, 58 just seemed old to the 21-year-old paramedic. Her kidney disease had made her look much older, but she was polite and friendly. When she felt the summer breeze on her face, Shirley lit up like a neon sign.
"I love the summer," she said as Dana and his partner loaded the gurney into the ambulance, "I wish you could just tow me over there behind the van."
"The nice people like you are not the ones that I want to do that to," Dana said as he climbed into the ambulance and took his seat on the bench. Dana's partner laughed as he closed the doors.
As the ambulance pulled out of the driveway, Dana assessed Shirley's vital signs, listened to her lungs and checked her pupils. He made small talk while he completed these tasks and started to write his patient report. And then it happened.
"You're a strong looking Lad," Shirley said, "Do you have a big Cock?"
Dana was sure he had heard wrong so he looked at Shirley's smiling face and said, "I'm sorry ma'am, I wasn't listening. What did you say?"