Pulling to a stop on a tree-lined street in front of a conservative house, I could have been in the heart of Anytown , USA. When the dominant female voice of my trusty GPS announced, "You have reached your destination," a tactile sense of realism swept through me. This was no dream. The sun-baked leaves falling steadily on my Accord were all too real. Shutting down the engine, I glanced into my rearview mirror for yet another dose of realityβyep, it was me. Those blue eyes that have served me so admirably throughout the years; they never lied. The same baby blues that have treated me to sights of wonder and plunder, starry-eyed innocence and sordid sinful pleasures, comedies and tragedies too numerous to recall. I hardly needed my reading glasses to make out twin pockets of tiny crows feet at the cornersβnature's retribution.
The only saving grace was my eye lids. Once closed, my mind's eye instantly catapulted me back to the impending vision of why I was here in the first place. Digital dots on a CRT arranged just so, had played on my emotions for months and set my ageless libido on fire. Laying my head back against the headrest, I literally bathed in more of that sensual vision. Weathered hands and fingers slid from my neck across the deep red silky expanse of my upper chest. Ten years seem to evaporate. Peaking from under one eye lid, I heaved a sigh at my still deserted surroundings. Like my hands were on autopilot, they slid further down my silk blouse to caress my greatest assets. Tightly bound within the confines of a lacy black pushup; still big, round, and begging for attention, my faithful melons responded with a few slinky bounces. Another 10 years disappeared, as I undid two top buttons from the balcony. Gingerly I fingered my way inside to tweak my nipples. "One must make a good first impression," I determined.
Now to shave off say another five years, I thought. Kicking off my driving flats, I pried on a pair of shiny black patent leather pumps. Convincing myself out of 20 years was one thing, another five years might be a real reach. I reconsidered. Slowly tugging on my black thigh-high hose from the ankles, I smoothed the excess up over my knees. Glancing once again at the deserted street, I hiked up my too-tight black skirt. Simply stated, there's no mind-altering drug strong enough to deal with these damn expanding thighs. Oh well, at least I didn't have to fret over having a b-donk-a-donk buttβstill nice and round (perhaps more emphatically round, but reliably functional for normal and extracurricular activities).
Once I unlocked each garter strap, and then reattached them to the adjusted hose, I was nearly out of breath. Thankfully, my intermittent pussy pampering over the final 200 miles (just to keep my fantasies flowing), hadn't taken a huge toll on my matching French-cut satin panties. But maybe a little shot of Ralph wouldn't hurt. Uncapping my handy travel-sized atomizer of Ralph Lauren's Romance, I spritzed a burst between my bare thighs. Spraying an equal mist down my cleavage, I recapped the bottle and reapplied some lipstick. "Okay Girl, you gonna do this thing or not?" That was my final chance to scrap the whole pretentious idea. Taking a long breath, I must have exhaled for a good two minutes.
Suddenly my feet took charge, followed closely by my hand on the door handle. My mind in the same instant turned on me playing devil's advocate. "You should have at least called them first. Most respectable people hate surprises, especially of this variety." A gust of autumn wind greeted me as I opened the car door. Reaching behind the front seat I whipped my dark leather jacket from its hanger. "Don't be a complete and utter fool, these people don't know you from Adam; moreover they most likely don't WANT to know you!" Adjusting to an extra four inches of height; I pulled the jacket on, shoved the keys in my pocket, and took my first steps down the walk leading to their house. "Well at least you left your purse in the car for a quick getaway. Now, what to say? Think of a lie... you're an Avon lady... Fuller Brush person... encyclopedia salesman? I know, tell them your car stalled, that's the ticket!"
Reaching the front door, I did one final shakedown (thank God). Checking my blouse collar, I realized I hadn't buttoned back up. Doing so, I took one last nervous breath of confidence and rang the bell. The following two minutes seemed like hours. I reached to re-ring, when the door swung open. A tall bald man dressed in sweats gave me the once over.
"Hi... I'm... I mean, my CAR is..." my heart sank, as I gestured toward the Accord.
Turning back to meet his eyes my knees nearly buckled.
"Your car; is there trouble with your car?" He asked, but his broad endearing smile stole my complete attention.
"My car, no there's nothing wrong... I mean it's parked okay, isn't it?" Now I was terminally lost in his warm smile.
"Yes, you've parked it very nicely young lady. I might even go as far as saying you did a splendid job of parking your car. Now, what can I do ya for?"
Returning his gracious smile with one of my own, I heard a female voice from inside.
"Can you get that Hon, I'm on the phone?"
"GOT IT!" He returned.
"Who is it?" The voice rang out.
"DON'T KNOW... YET," he barked back, letting his eyes bounce up and down me. "Who should I say..." he started when I interrupted.
"Are you Bill?" I asked, nervously tugging on the hem of my jacket.
He nodded, "And you must be..."
"I'm Barb," I shyly replied, not knowing what to expect.
I could see immediately from his clueless expression, I wasn't registering.
"Who did you say?" Sharon yelled again.
"Says her name is BARB; do we know any Barbs?" He yelled. "Though it seems like we should," he flirted, then fixed his gaze on my feet. "Love your shoes; very sexy."
"Thank you kind sir, but I was hoping for a little more than that," I winked and shrugged my jacket off my shoulders and down to my elbows. Bringing my elbows together to accentuate my tits, I tried to strike a more recognizable pose.
"Ya know, there IS something familiar about you," his eyes rose from my expanded chest to refocus on mine.
"How about I strip out of this skirt, get down on all fours and let you fuck me up the ass, while I suck on Sharon's clit? Would THAT help to jog your memory, hmm?" I declared, shaking my jugs for greater impact.