(This is my first story submitted. It's equal parts reality and fantasy, mixed with a fair bit of lust and shaken up. I really hope you enjoy it, and would love to hear your thoughts and feedback.)
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I think it all started in my sophomore year at college. The feelings were there before, but before the beginning of that year I had managed to suppress all those urges and feelings.
I guess it really began before all of that when I was a teenager still living at home. My entire life I have been petite, attractive but just petite. I think partially due to that I've always looked much younger than my actual age. I consider it a blessing now and embrace it, but back in school I considered it a curse. It didn't help that my older sister physically was so much different than I was. I'm 5'5" tall and weigh around 110 lbs. I have dark blond hair and blue eyes. My sister has always been taller, (around 5'8" or so), darker hair with bright blue eyes and where I have always had a firm body and considered myself an athlete, my sister had the curves and body that drove the boys wild. She had a full c cup where I began developing my smaller breast later (they are still a b-cup). My entire life I was the cute girl, and my sister was every guys object of lust. I was shy and reserved especially around boys where my sister seemed to be born to flirt and tease and she took every opportunity to enjoy it.
I'm not saying that I didn't date or fool around. I tended to date the more reserved guys and when I became sexually active it always seemed awkward and I was never very comfortable with myself. My sister on the other hand went through her boyfriends constantly, and even the boys I dated were attracted to her. She embraced her sexuality and enjoyed it. We were raised by our mother and anytime that my mother was out of town or coming home late she would have guys over.
When they were over it was never a mystery what they were up to. Anywhere I was in the house I could hear her and her newest "boyfriend" having sex. She was always so loud, moaning, screaming and begging. Whenever I went through her room (as little sisters tend to do) I would find things like extremely revealing lingerie, sex toys, and even once a sex tape. I think this just made me more reserved since I was still uncomfortable with my own body and sexuality.
I think deep down I wanted to be more like my sister, and once I graduated and went away to college, the feelings grew more and more. I wanted guys to lust after me like they did my sister. I wanted to feel free enough to be loud during sex like she was, having no care who might hear her using language that made me blush. In my fantasies I became more like her, and I would whisper out loud, when my room mate was out, the types of things I would say to my next lover.
I think like many people not completely comfortable with their desires or at least sharing them I used the internet to help start breaking out of my shell. I would go to chat rooms and with the anonymity of the computer would chat with complete strangers and type the things that I never had the courage to say in real life. I relished the feeling of being this "young slut" for these men, and had some of the most amazing orgasms reading what they would do to me. When I started I would describe myself to these strangers using my sisters look as a model for them. Gradually I started to use what I really looked like when describing myself, (which was a huge thrill for me), and learned that there were plenty of guys that thought my petite body and my pixie baby face were attractive and sexy to them.
I would never take it further than just chatting however. I wasn't ready to take that next step. I never met anyone that I chatted with online, and any pictures that I would send to them would only be of what I felt as safe. I never sent pictures of my face, but sometimes would send a picture of my stomach (which I've always been proud of) and when I felt particularly daring, a picture of my ass, (with panties on of course).
That summer when I returned home I reverted to my shy self, but I think I had already started to change. I was starting to feel more comfortable with myself, and for the first time in my life I started buying clothes that would show off more of my body and I started noticing the looks from guys. When I went back to school that following fall, I went back a happier (and hornier) girl. (My sister you ask? That summer I think she started to change as well. She was dating a really great guy and seemed to be settling down a little).