The house didn't look like much. It was a single-story detached structure in a tired residential area of the city, with clapboard exterior walls and cement front steps. An older Kia hatchback was on the driveway and the lawn was weedy. The neighboring houses looked to be about the same style. I double-checked the house number against the paper in my hand, and this is the place. It certainly didn't give me a good first impression.
Nevertheless I parked my car on the street in front, took a deep breath, and came out to approach the house door.
My name is Kevin, I'm a 55-year old divorcee, healthy and fit, but shy. I'm an introvert and overly cautious, and really not very confident in myself. I've tried to work on that but it's hard. So coming here is not something I feel comfortable with but I had to build up my courage to do it because I guess it is important for my health. The paper in my hand was given to me by my doctor as a suggestion for my condition.
A few days ago, I was in her office to discuss my symptoms. My urination was frequent and in small amounts. I would wake up at least once in the middle of the night to pee.
Dr. Radley told me that the ultrasound showed I had an enlarged prostate gland, and the PSA level in my blood test showed it was elevated. She also had me face the table and drop my pants and briefs so she could insert her finger into my anus to feel the prostate.
"This is a very common condition for men as they get older," she explained. "Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of options for this. I'll cover them, but I am also concerned about the PSA test. If this keeps going up, there would be an increased risk of prostate cancer."
That did not sound good at all.
She continued. "Your prostate is enlarged because there is too much fluid build up and that's squeezing your urethra. That's why peeing is so difficult. There are some changes to your diet that may help. Have less coffee, alcohol, and spicy food." She described pills she'll prescribe that may help but will reduce my libido, and some lifestyle considerations, but everything had words like "may" and "could" and nothing gave me any confidence about reducing this risk. "We would have to closely monitor it and if it keeps getting worse and the risk increase, we'd need to look at surgery by a urologist to remove the prostate." The prostate provides a man's seminal fluid. So no prostate, no ejaculation. Fuck.
There was a silence as she let me take all this in. Doctors sometimes have to give bad news to their patients.
I finally spoke up. "Doctor, isn't there something else you can do? That I can do? Is there any kind of specialist for this?"
"I can send you to a urologist but I expect you'll hear the same thing. This is not unusual, like I said, though usually to little older men than you are."
"Do you know about herbal medicine? Can anything like that help? I've taken different things over the years from these natural medicine stores. I think they helped for different situations. I guess I'm not really sure though."
She looked at me and said, "look, I'm a physician and my training and experience is in western science-based medicine. I'm afraid I can't really suggest any of those herbs. I know about the drugs I can prescribe to you." She looked at my dejected expression and desperation. She seemed to be thinking about something else to say.
"Kevin, you've been my patient for a long time and it's frustrating for me not to be able to offer more to you. I've committed myself to helping my patients using what I know." She paused. "I'm going to give you a referral to someone that I've provided to a few other patients in the past. I don't really know what is the treatment here so you'll have to ask about it. And it wouldn't be covered by your health insurance. But I've had patients tell me it's made a world of difference, and their PSA levels also went down a lot."
I perked up. There is some hope. "Really? What is it?" I asked.
"There's a clinic for traditional Chinese medicine. Now understand they're whole approach and philosophy to medicine is completely different and a lot of it doesn't make sense to western medicine. They're whole approach to how the body works is different. So this will not be an official referral. It will not be for the record, and I can't take any responsibility for what they do. I'll be leaving it up to you."
I've heard about traditional Chinese medicine. I have no experience with it, and I have no idea what it includes. But I thought about it and considered that China is a civilization of thousands of years, with great philosophy and knowledge. Perhaps they have a different approach to this kind of medical condition.
"Yes, please. I'd like to give it a shot."
So Dr. Radley wrote down a phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to me. "Give them a call and mention my name. I really hope it'll help. Good luck with it." She smiled. "Regardless, I'll need you to come back for a follow-up. And I'll still give you that prescription for the drugs if you decide to take it."
That afternoon, I called the number on the paper. A woman answered and spoke Chinese.
"Hi, do you speak English?" I asked. More Chinese in reply. Then there was a pause, and another female voice came on.
"Hello, I speak English. Can I help you?" This voice was younger than the first.
"Yes Hi. I was referred to by Dr. Radley. She said you can help me."
"One second," she said. I then heard her speak to the other woman in Chinese. "My mother asked what is the problem."
This felt pretty awkward to speak about on the phone. I felt too uncomfortable to describe the medical condition to the daughter interpreter of the other woman. I didn't even know how old this daughter was. She could be a kid for all I know.
"Umm, Dr. Radley said she referred other patients to you in the past. With my problem. Can I explain it, not on the phone?" My voice was uncertain and a bit shaky. I was uncertain about the whole thing frankly.
"One second," she said. More Chinese talking in the background. "She said okay. Can you come Thursday at eleven?" That was two days from now. I said I can. She gave me the address and I wrote it on the same piece of paper.
I heard the mother say something. "She said to make sure you don't eat anything starting tomorrow afternoon." Well, in a way you get that kind of instruction with western medicine too. I acknowledged this and that was that.
So that is how I found myself now knocking on the wooden door of this house. The door opened and a middle aged Chinese woman answered with a smile. She had a thin average figure, with full breasts and shoulder-length hair, and wore a dress for comfort. Her arms and legs were bare, and her shoes were thin slippers. "Hello," she said in a heavy accent.
"Hi, I'm Kevin," I said. She stepped out of the way so I could enter the house and she closed the door behind me. I looked around and the living room was furnished inexpensively but in comfort.
She said something in Chinese and led me to the living room and gestured to the sofa. I sat down and she sat in a chair right in front of me. A young woman then joined us and sat next to the older woman. "Hi, my name is Linghi. We spoke on the phone. My mother doesn't speak much English so I'll be translating." She spoke warmly and had a softer Chinese accent.
I looked at Linghi. She seemed to be about twenty give or take a year or two, and pretty with long black hair. She wore a fitted sleeveless top with no bra over her mid-sized breasts, shorts, and Croc shoes. I felt shy with someone like this so I just said "hi" meekly to her.
"My mother would like to know why you came."
I looked at the mother. She was assessing me intently. I looked back at Linghi and said, "umm, well, my doctor thought I, that maybe someone in traditional Chinese medicine can help me."
"Yes, my mother practices traditional Chinese medicine. She has helped many men in China and here. Usually her patients are Chinese men so she can speak Chinese with them. But I can translate. I also help her because she wants me to learn her medicine too."
"Oh okay," I said. I started stammering uncomfortably. "I have an enlarged prostate..." and described my peeing symptoms. The mother asked me if I was married. I wasn't expecting such a question and said I was divorced for over eight years. She asked for my age, and also confirmed with me that I hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon.
"My mother says she can help you. She has helped many men with this problem. She will need to first assess you and then do a traditional treatment."
"Okay that's good. When can we start?"
"Yes, here, now!"
"And how much will this cost?"
Linghi conferred with her mother. "One hundred dollars per visit. Cash."
Fortunately I was prepared for this. Frankly, if this helps, I'd pay a lot more given the alternatives. "Yes, okay, no problem," I said.
The mother said something to Linghi at length, and Linghi looked at me, then down at my midsection a couple of times, and nodded to her. Then the mother stood up and walked towards the hall. Linghi also stood and said, "please come this way." I stood and followed the mother, with Linghi behind me. My legs felt shaky.
They led me to a bedroom. In the middle was a single bed, much narrower than a twin-size. There was no pillow. At the head of the bed was a headboard with makeshift posts. The room had a window with opaque glass and the floor had cheap vinyl tiling. It wasn't exactly a Boston General OR.
The mother spoke to me and Linghi interpreted. "Please remove your shoes and socks and pants. And your shirt too."
I started by bending down to my shoes, but then asked her, "are you staying in the room?"
"Yes of course. I will be helping my mother."
"Um, if I may ask, how old are you?"
"I am nineteen." So I'll be taking my pants off in front of a teenager. Great.
I took off my shoes and socks and Linghi took them and put them next to a chair in the corner. The floor felt cold to my bare feet. I then opened my pants and removed them from my legs, and she took them too and put them on the chair. Then I took my shirt off, and she took it. I stood in front of her just wearing my briefs. The mother was watching me intently the whole time. I felt very small and self-conscious. I couldn't look them in the eye, and mostly looked down.
The mother spoke, and Linghi said, "please lie on the bed on your back."
I looked at the bed and sat on it. Then I swung my legs over to the end and lay down resting on my elbows with my head up.
The mother came towards my head and said something in a soothing tone. With her hands, she showed she wanted me to lie fully down and leave my arms on my side. Then she put her hand on my abdomen and said something else. "She said you can relax, do not be nervous. Do not be shy. She has seen many men."
I took a deep breath and looked straight up at the ceiling. Her hand on my abdomen actually felt calming.
Linghi stood right beside the bed on my right, and spoke with her mother. Her mother was on my left.
