After cleaning myself for the third time today (and it was barely into the afternoon), I threw on a pair of basketball shorts and a swim team tank top. If I had to wear one thing for the rest of my life, this would be it.
The combo was comfy, lightweight, and because the hastily cut-off arm holes were way too big, very revealing. For some reason I would never be confident enough to wear it out and about. Around the apartment complex, though, or working out, I'd catch enough glances to put an extra pep in my step, or, I guess, an extra spank in my bank.
I walked downstairs and found Diane in the kitchen. She stood by the counter near the fridge, still wearing her dark one-piece, and mixing together what looked like iced tea and lemon slices in a pitcher. Looking at her from behind, I was pleased with her decision not to change. Her ass was built like it was on a shelf, it was so utterly full with an ounce of sag. Grabbing it just ten minutes ago as she jerked me off, it had no extra weight to it, just firm and with a nice little bounce when I let go of it. This immediately made its place as one of my top two or three grabs of all-time.
Actually, let's be honest. It was number one by a long mile.
A really long mile.
"Hey," I said, stepping fully into the kitchen. There may have been slight hesitation on my part, if only for fear that any sudden movement would somehow change the dynamic. For as much as I expected this to be awkward for some reason, it didn't seem like it was, and I didn't want anything to upset that.
There was also a real chance I was overthinking everything and just needed to smoke some weed and chill out.
"Hey," she said, turning around and gesturing with the stirred pitcher. "I made iced tea."
I sat on the closest stool near the kitchen island surrounded on all sides by them.
"You didn't poison it, did you?" I asked.
She cocked an eye at me as she set the iced tea down on the island.
"Are you expecting me to?"
"No," I said. "Just making sure you're not regretting what happened and trying to cover your tracks."
"With all the poison I keep lying around?"
"I don't know," I said. "Your house is being fumigated, right? Maybe you have an in with the exterminators. Sounds like the easy way out to me."
"You are attending classes at college, right?" She grabbed two glasses and filled them ice tea as she continued. "I know you called yourself a dumb jock, but I thought that was self-deprecating."
"Fine," I said, relenting. I reached across the island to grab a glass. "Thank you for the ice tea, and I appreciate you not poisoning me."
"You're welcome," she said as we clinked glasses. She brought her glass up to her lips, but it didn't look like she took a sip.
"Wait - are you not taking a sip until I do?" I asked.
"Hey," she said. "I never actually said I didn't poison it."
She took a sip and laughed at her own joke like it was the funniest thing she's ever heard.
"Good one," I said, also taking a sip. "But, to confirm, we're good, too, right?"
"Of course," she said, her smile beaming. "We are very good. Or at least, I am very much looking forward to being very good."
"Whoa, no pressure, I guess."
"To confirm, you're not a virgin, right?"
"What?" I said, taken aback. "No, I didn't mean-"
"Sorry, I phrased that wrong. It's okay if you are. Based on your," she waved a hand up and down at my body. "Based on your confidence, I assumed you weren't."
"No, I'm not a virgin," I said. After a sip, "You?"
She laughed again. It was music. Her intensely blue eyes even danced to it. Her whole body shook, and her boobs jiggled, slightly. Perfectly.
"No," she said. "Not a virgin."
"Okay, phew," I said. "Because I didn't want to have teach an old dog-"
"-Hey," she interrupted. "Before you continue any further, remember what I just did for you."
"-because I didn't want to have to teach an old dog new tricks," I flailed towards a finish as she cocked another eye at me. "And that dog would then be a gift I give to you, a gorgeous female human of indiscernible age, as a respectful thank you."
"'Gorgeous female human of indiscernible age,'" she repeated. "I guess I can live what that for now."
"Incredibly gorgeous," I said. "And, honestly, even more indiscernible. If that's even possible."
Another wondrous guffaw slipped from her lips.
"Thank you," she said. "You've got a real way with words."
"Hey," I said. "It's easy when it's honest. And this boner I've had for the better part of a day speaks to my high level of honesty."
"Boner," she said, then erupted with a burst of laughter.
"What?" I said, not quite getting the joke.
"'Boner.' I mean, c'mon. The word's not very common in a 41-year-old's vocabulary."
Hearing her repeat that word, even mockingly, had an immediate effect on me.
"Maybe it should be, though, because I cannot tell you how much I enjoy you saying it," I said while gesturing to a boner still hidden by the granite countertop between us.
