It had been an ordinary dinner party. Four people, two couples to be precise, had met at one of the couples home and had drinks and dinner together like so many times before.
It started when John and Anna rang the doorbell at Stephans and Helga's house. Drinks were served; the guys had Lagavulin single malt whiskey and the women mixed themselves mojitos.
Small talk followed and most of what was said had been said before and there was something comforting in knowing that nothing had changed since last month. Nothing that they cared to talk about anyway.
Dinner was good, as always; pan fried cod with some baked potatoes and a fresh salad, washed down with mediocre white wine out of a box. For desserts Stephan and Helga served chocolate cake and strong coffee and after that the inevitable cognac. By nine o´clock, everyone was half way to drunk, although they preferred to call it "being a bit tiddly."
They sat in the large conservatory that was a recent attachment to the ninety year old house in a relatively affluent suburb. None of them were short of money after a working life of some forty odd years and retirement loomed on the horizon. John was the oldest, just turned sixty one and having been a hands-on building contractor most of his working life, his body was lean and muscular and his face wrinkly and weather beaten. Anna was two years his junior, a teacher that was reasonably fit after a life of marking papers and assigning work to children that didn't appreciate her efforts one bit.
Stephan was sixty, a former policeman who had become a security guard at a large factory one year previously when he was offered almost double his policeman's wage. Helga, a fitness instructor at a seniors facility, was the baby in the group, fifty five years old.
And so the evening passed. They exchanged stories of their daily lives and the conservatory was nice and warm. It was nice and cosy.
Then things changed.
"I have a question," said Stephen. "A question that has been haunting me more and more as I have become older and now that I am in my sixties, I am not satisfied with the answers I give myself when said question pops up."
"We all have questions, don´t we?" It was John's first contribution to the ensuing conversation.
"We certainly do," said Stephen "and I would like to ask you all this question, if I may."
"This sounds terribly exciting," said Anna. "Is it some kind of 'coming of old age question'?"
"You could say that. Although I have been asking myself this question since I can´t remember when, but when I was younger I pushed it away and now I can't do that anymore"
"Oh dear," Helga said. "I am not sure I am going to like this."
"Well, that depends on the answers we give," answered Stephan. "Maybe the answers will push us apart or maybe they will unite us and make us happier than we have ever been."
"I couldn't be happier dear," said Helga.
"Nor could I," said Anna. "I have everything I want, four grown up children and six grandchildren. And you John," she added and it sounded like an afterthought.
"Our two daughters are healthy and happy. One of them has two lovely sons but with Nina being gay, I´m not sure she´ll ever have kids," said Helga.
"She's happy with her life and that is enough for me. That's all I want for my kids, that they find happiness. And that kind of brings me to this question that I have."
"Bring it on." John said this with more bravado than he actually felt. He had a sneaking suspicion that nothing would be the same if their answers to Stephan's question were honest.
"Okay. Here goes. Do any of you regret not having done certain things, and like me, are afraid of becoming old people full of regrets over not having done those things? Regretting not doing things before it became too late?"
"You mean like lying in your bed in a nursing home, pissed off with yourself for not doing stuff when you could have?" said John.
"Yes. Exactly that!"
"Like what then? What is it that you have never done but always wanted to do?" asked Helga. "Go skydiving or walk Jacob's trail?"
"No one should ever jump out of a serviceable aeroplane in mid air," said Stephan, "and you know I'm not much of a hiker."
"What is it then?" Anna asked.
"Quite a few things actually, but I'm not going to spill the beans here and now. All I want to know is if any of you have wrestled with the thoughts that come from such a question."
They nursed their drinks and no one said anything for a while. It was Anna that broke the silence.
"Yes, I have sometimes thought of a few things I should have done, or should do, before my sell-by-date rolls along."
"Actually," said John, "there are a couple of things that I have sometimes thought I should try, but they are very personal and I will probably keep them to myself."
Anna looked at him questioningly.
"Well, that's nice to know. My husband carries a secret he won't share with me." The drink had made her a bit aggressive and John reeled back.
"No no, nothing like that. Those are just thoughts and no one shares all their thoughts."
"Tell you what," said Anna. "Seeing as this bottle of fine cognac is almost empty, I suggest that we play spin the bottle and divulge our little secret regrets. Let's empty it and spin it."
With that she shared what was left of the bottle between them.
"But what if we don't feel like talking when our turn comes?" A perfectly reasonable question from Helga.
"Well, I believe you have some more of that cognac in your sideboard and if someone doesn't want to talk, he or she will have to drink one shot glass of it."
Helga fetched another bottle and Stephan found four shot glasses and filled them. Anna then picked up the empty bottle.
"Ready?"
They all nodded or mumbled their acceptance so Anna spun the bottle. The spout pointed at John.
"Well John, do tell," said Anna.
"Okay, this is not one of those really embarrassing things I hinted at, but I'll start with it: I have often wanted to spend more time naked around our house. Maybe spend a weekend naked with you Anna and if some visitors popped around, we wouldn't let them in unless they stripped off first."
"What, and have an orgy with our guests? Trust you to think of something sexual John." Anna looked embarrassed by her husband's revelation.
"This isn't necessarily sexual," Helga countered. "Nudism in itself is more about freedom. People feel free from one burden imposed upon them by society, the wearing of clothes."
"The fucking weather around here imposes that burden on us most days," Stephan said.
They all laughed and Anna´s mood seemed to lighten.
