Ridiculust Ch 15

Note to Readers: There is minimal "adult" activity in this chapter, but Chapter 16 will make up for it. Stay tuned!

Chapter 15

At about this time, Debbie, Joe, John, and Sarah had assembled on Sarah and John's front lawn. The ladies were looking radiant and the guys rather tired, but happy.

"I've made us a reservation at the Rock-n-Roll," said Sarah, disconnecting the call on her phone. "The gal said that it was a good thing we did because there are a lot more people downtown than usual." They started the walk downtown, moving rather carefully at first because their tender parts had gotten far more of a workout than usual.

"I wonder what Roger and Jeannie are up to?" mused Joe. "I haven't seen any mysterious waves of light or heard of any explosions or panics, so maybe they're laying low?"

"Hmm," said Debbie, looking off into the distance, listening. "Oh, they totally blew out the rot in the pine tree in the grove about an hour ago," she said delightedly, and the Purple Chimps managed to cure the poplar just a few minutes ago. Four down, eight to go."

"They were totally made for each other, just like we were," said Sarah, holding John closer. "But it's really weird that Roger's voice and mine together sound great, but apart are, uh, not."

"Your voice is like one of the angels'," John replied promptly, trying to look virtuous.

"Yes, if the angels are frogs and crows," she replied, "mister sweet talker." They all laughed with the ease of people who've been good friends for years, even though Joe was only a few hours in the flesh. As they crossed the bridge, they could see that there were indeed more people in the park than usual. "Look at them all! I wonder if they're from out of town, come to see the magic." As they approached the Rock and Roll, which was a bar that served good 'pub grub' located on the corner across the street from Julia's and two blocks up, they could see there was more traffic on Main Street, cars parked, and people wandering around window shopping, dining on the restaurant patios, or just locals shooting the breeze with friends.

"Why is there a news truck here? Since when has this town been newsworthy?" asked Debbie as they passed an SUV parked on a side street that was painted with the logo of a Toronto TV news station.

"Probably since yesterday," replied Joe as they walked through the door of the pub. Popular music primarily from the 1970s through 1990s was their fare, and U2's 'Where the Streets Have No Name' was just starting. After confirming their 6:15 reservation with the host, they were led to a table on the patio that fronted on the side street. The server was a girl in her late teens, dressed in a black uniform with medium-length brown hair cut in a ragged, modern style.

"Here you are, Mrs. Burns," she said, pulling out a chair for her, "and for you, Mr. Burns," she continued, pulling out a chair for him. Then she got a good look at him and froze, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. "Uh, uh, you're ALIVE?"

"Yes, Sally, I'm alive," he responded with a smile as he, Debbie, and Joe seated themselves. "And it's great to see how you've grown. I never really died, and I was reincorporated earlier this afternoon."

"You're not a zombie or anything, are you?" she asked nervously.

"As far as I can tell, my body is fully functional," he replied with a grin, and she visibly relaxed.

"I'd like whatever beer you have on tap, and perhaps we should start with the large order of nachos while we figure out what we want," suggested Joe. The others quickly agreed, also ordering beer, and Sally sallied forth to the waiter's station to enter the order into the computer. "You're going to be a local celebrity," he continued. "Everyone will come and say hi, so I hope that you're ready."

"We're going to have some fun just trying to get your identity back," mused Sarah as their beers and nachos arrived. "Yes sir, he was dead for three and a half years, but not really dead because his spirit sort of hung around town until one day it got magically filled up with energy and he became real again. That's really gonna go over well." Fortunately, John was sitting with his back to the street, so he got no notice from the passers-by.

"He won't be the only one," Debbie added, looking at Joe, who was across the table from her. "I think that we managed to pick up about 20 people at lunch, and I'm half expecting some more from the concert tonight, if it's anything nearly as energetic as that was." Together they made short work of the generous serving of nachos. The beer was really good - the same brand that was being served Friday night in the beer tent at the concert - and it also was drained quickly.

"Oompa Loompa Love makes us hungry," John noted dryly. "How's your mother doing?"

"She's doing OK," Sarah replied. "She apparently wandered all over the world in the time since she died about eight years ago. She just went to airports and got on whatever plane was leaving. No luggage, no personal effects, no worries." John and Joe just looked at each other and shook their heads with rueful smiles. "It was only by chance that she happened to be here when the magic happened. There are a surprising number of spirits wandering the earth and she met quite a few of them."

"It's time to order," smiled Joe as Sally approached, somewhat hesitantly. "I'll have the chicken salad, please." Debbie ordered fish and chips, Sarah asked for a chicken pot pie with side salad, and John requested a club sandwich with a side of fries. The dinner passed very pleasantly. The food was great and the conversation interesting as John and Joe recounted some of the things they'd seen while not taking advantage of their ability to travel for free. A dozen people politely approached the table over the time to say hello to John to renew their acquaintance, and John always introduced them to Joe.

"Oh, that was so good," Sarah burped as the check was presented. Their eyes widened when they saw how much it was, but Sarah and Debbie forked over the cash, including a generous tip, and they waddled out of the restaurant and onto the sidewalk. Afternoon had transitioned to evening and the air was cool and fresh. They turned left to go a block away from Main St to avoid the unusually busy downtown, and then turned right to head towards the park. The houses were modest two-storey structures on decent sized lots, and there were plenty of tall shady trees of several varieties.

"So, what is your impression of Roger?" John asked as they slowly walked with arms around their partners, with John and Sarah leading. "How is he as a person?" Sarah was the first to answer.

"He was a man full of sadness. It was so clear that he had not gotten over the loss of Jeannie and that he desperately needed someone to love to make him feel whole again. If you two and she had not been reincorporated, I would have been that person. She paused to look back at Debbie and smiled. "Well, one of them."

"He was a good person way back when we were dating," Debbie added, "and it looks like he still is. But I could feel that sadness too." She stopped suddenly. "He said that he'd been hiking for five days to get here, and that it seemed that it was Jeannie who was leading him on through his dreams. Do you think that she knew about his power and that all of this was going to happen?" John and Joe looked at each other thoughtfully.

"We didn't have much of a chance to get to know her, since it's only been a couple of days since she and Roger showed up," said John. "We didn't even meet her until Saturday morning after you," he indicated Sarah, "and he came to your place. We were standing in our front yard as Debbie was ringing the doorbell when she came running up to us."

"She had nearly lost them because she was doing something when they were leaving Julia's, though she never said what that something was," Joe continued as they resumed walking. "She wanted to know if Roger had gone into the house. We didn't know who Roger was at the time, but he matched the description of the guy Sarah brought in, and by the looks of her, was going to devour." Sarah looked uncomfortable and Debbie smirked.

"She seemed nice enough and we got along, but she was distracted by something and disappeared after you came home from your grocery shopping for a couple of hours," continued John as they approached the side street that had the entrance of the park. "She seemed to be worried that Roger would not want her any more since he'd hooked up with you two, but last night's, um, activities," they all snickered and made eyes at each other, "put that fear to rest."

"Roger must have really blown a charge into her, because she was all sparky and her hair static frizz for a couple of hours afterwards." Joe laughed at the memory. "We slept well, and were woken up when you went at it this morning." He scowled as Debbie and Sarah got lustfully dreamy looks. "You nearly wrecked us! We were barely able to make it to Julia's on time this morning!"

"But that really doesn't answer the question about how she would have known about Roger and the events of the past few days," said Debbie, fixing him with her version of The Stare, which made him cringe back in almost mock fear. "What aren't you telling us, sweetheart?" The steel gauntlet under the velvet glove was clearly audible and he didn't want to meet her gaze.

"We ... promised to not say anything until after tonight," sighed John, wilting under Sarah's glower. "She said that an extremely reliable source told her that something big was going to happen because of the increase in magic that's been happening, that it would happen here and tonight, and that we all had a role to play in it."

"What did he see in her anyway?" Debbie asked as they turned the corner. "She was desperate to get to the park because she thought he would somehow slip away."

"He saw his future," said Joe quietly, finally looking her directly in the eyes.

"He saw his life to be spent with his true love," added John, looking into Sarah's brown eyes with his blue ones. "Just like we did. It's why we wanted our bodies back so badly." The two women froze as they saw their men, only until recently thought lost forever, standing before them in the gathering dusk, eyes glistening. Their memories of times together, then of the terrible days after their deaths, flashed through their minds, and suddenly the dams broke and they flung themselves into their husbands' arms crying with relief and pent-up sorrow and despair. The men wrapped their wives in protective embraces and wept along with them, relieved that their wish had finally been granted and that the living hell they'd been enduring all this time was finally over. Silently, the streetlights turned on as the two lonely couples loved each other with an intensity that radiated throughout the neighbourhood. When they finally looked into each others' shining eyes, some small remaining barrier crumbled and they became one. Joe's brown, green, and purple aura mixed with Sarah's red, blue, and yellow one, while John's teal, pale blue, and magenta aura mixed with Debbie's red, reddish-orange, and orange one. Their bonds, forged and now re-forged by the power of love, would never be broken.

"Look at us," Sarah whispered, snuffling as she dug in her purse for some tissues. "This is how Roger and Jeannie were after we crossed through the portal." They loudly blew their noses and discarded the tissues in someone's garbage can that had been left out for collection tomorrow, then made liberal use of hand sanitizer that Debbie had in her purse.

"Let's go to the park," said Joe. "We have a date with destiny."

"Ooh, drama," snarked Debbie, squeezing him tight as they resumed their walk. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know what's going to happen, but Jeannie said it would be big," said John. "I'm kind of curious. But there's no question that it will be magical."

After passing the stage where the Purple Chimps were preparing, Roger and Jeannie walked along the path towards the exit, hand in hand. They waved cheerfully at Ming Liu and Wan Kee as they passed the food truck, and they waved back. On the other side of the path they saw four masked, furry faces peeking out of the bushes and they smiled and waved at them too. Their auras had faded to a gentle luminosity by the time they'd reached the street corner.

"It's interesting how you can't hear the noise from the street when you're in the park," Jeannie said as they surveyed the scene. The sidewalks were filled with people of all shapes, sizes and colours moving slowly, talking, laughing and window shopping. A steady stream of cars was moving in both directions on the street. It looked more like a Friday night in downtown Toronto than a Sunday night in a small town. "Where are we going to find a place to eat? Will we even be able to get in?"

"Huh," Roger exclaimed as his stomach growled. She giggled. "I vaguely recall a place on this side of the street a block or two down," he continued nonchalantly. "I'd rather avoid Julia's if I can, given all that's happened there, but we can go if we need to." They slowly threaded their way southward through the colourfully dressed crowd until they got to the next street corner, where they saw a black female journalist and white female camera operator from the TV station whose vehicle the others had seen, doing person-on-the-street interviews with random passers-by. The journalist had her back to the building, which was a bank; the camera operator was to her left, facing away from Roger and Jeannie, and the man was partially facing Roger and Jeannie, and he looked familiar.

"Sir, what brings you to this normally quiet town?" asked the journalist in a pleasant voice.

"My associates and I are here for the big show that will be happening in the park in a couple of hours," he replied, indicating a tall, sturdy black woman in a brown pattered dress and red, broad-brimmed hat and a smaller, pale woman in a light blue blouse, pale green slacks, and a white hat.

"They're the people we met earlier," murmured Roger, his eyes darting around looking for an escape route. He tried to sidle sideways into the crowd, but Jeannie had her hands on his arm and would not budge, despite his best efforts.

"I want to see this," she snickered, though at whom it was not clear.

"We have discovered that several of the Archetypes are in this town, and they are playing key roles in all of the magical events that have been happening," said John Martin, clearly excited by it all.

"And what are these Archetypes?" asked the journalist with a tactful combination of interest and skepticism over the background noise of the passing people, who were mostly ignoring them. Unable to sneak away, Roger tried the next best thing, which was crouching a bit to put the camera operator between himself and the interviewees.

"In case you think he has his tinfoil hat on a bit too tight," Alice Marchand said with a smirk as John glowered at her and Agnes found something interesting to look at over his shoulder, "the Archetypes are very old souls who have tended to have similar careers in each of their incarnations. We know this is not nonsense because we met six of them earlier this afternoon."

"And two of them are right there, behind the camera," said Agnes Mzumba, pointing straight at Roger. Finally outed, he stood up again, which was a good thing because even a short period of trying to be inconspicuous had not done any favours for his back.

"Dammit!" was all he could say as the camera operator turned around quickly and the journalist looked at him and Jeannie with considerably more interest. "She means the people behind us!" he said to the camera operator, gesturing with his right hand. He looked over his shoulder to see that the crowd had magically parted and there was nobody there. He turned back and grinned sheepishly while Jeannie looked amused. "Umm, hi, Alice!" he called out, waving at her. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks to you," she replied as the journalist looked back and forth between them.

"Hey, I recognize you," said the journalist, moving over to them as the camera operator backed up towards Agnes, Alice, and John to get a better angle. "You're Roger Matheson of Roger and the Homewreckers, creators of the hit 'Oompa Loompa Love'," she added for the benefit of the audience. "I'm Leslie Frost, from Toronto's Action News Station."

"This is my lovely wife and love of my life, Jeannie," said Roger gallantly, still doing his best to deflect attention away from himself. She smiled sweetly and put an arm around his waist, effectively blocking his effort to sneak away. Alice and Agnes gave her a brief round of applause and thumbs-up, while Roger sighed in defeat. They and John then made themselves scarce.

"Yes, I am," he admitted, "after delighting in the obscurity that I deserve, I have been suddenly pushed into the limelight. We were just on our way to get something to eat before the big concert tonight in the park. You really should have a chat with the Purple Chimps! They're great, and I'm sure have a stellar future in front of them!" he enthused.

"Oh, I definitely will," said Leslie, ignoring a snicker from the camera operator. "Word has it that they have been linked to some interesting events here in the past few days. Like Friday night, when the entire audience was glowing, then the glows mixed together and shot out all through the town."

"Yes, that was remarkable!" Roger replied with a carefully deadpan expression. "We were there when it happened. Their special effects person is a real wizard!"

"Oh, he definitely is," Jeannie chimed in, giving him a meaningful look. "He really brings life to a party. The effects are truly magical."

"We expect that the Midsummer Festival will end with a bang, so please stay for the show!"

"There you have it, excellent advice if I've ever heard it!" said Leslie with well-practiced warmth and a winning smile. "I'm Leslie Frost, Toronto Action News." On that cue, the camera operator stopped and let it tilt up on her shoulder rest.

"And I'm Debbie Warren, Leslie's intrepid camera woman," she said as the crowd began to flow around them again. She was about five-foot-ten, two inches taller than her partner, and her shoulder-length gray hair was tied back in a ponytail under a red baseball cap with the station's logo, exposing a round, cheerful face with bright blue eyes, a small nose, and small mouth with attractive rosebud lips. Something about her seemed awfully familiar to him. "Do you remember me, Roger?" she asked with a mischievous grin, and both Leslie's and Jeannie's eyebrows rose in surprise. Suddenly, he remembered, and the look of total open-mouthed astonishment made them all giggle. "Roger and I knew each other from primary school. He had a crush on me, but was too shy to say anything. It was so cute." His face turned red and his look of embarrassment was a classic. "My parents then moved off to Australia because my mom was a professor and got a position at the University of Queensland. In fact," she added, looking at Jeannie, "our house was right next door to yours. You moved in about a month before we left." It was Jeannie's turn to look surprised.

"I do remember you. We met a couple of times, and you seemed nice. I wish I'd had the chance to get to know you better."

"It really is a small world," said Leslie, shaking her head with a big smile of straight white teeth framed by full lips. Her bright brown eyes over a wide yet elegant nose sparkled with good humour, but also intelligence that Roger immediately noted with a degree of apprehension. "And you, Roger, could give many politicians lessons in evasion." Roger tried to look innocent and, as usual, failed, mainly because innocence and blushing don't work well together "Everything that you said was true, but you managed to avoid saying anything about Friday night."