I never imagined I'd be stuck working at an office. Sitting at a desk day in and out. I know I'm not good at my job. I probably could be but I take long lunches and rarely show up on time. Never more than 8 minutes late.
Luck has been in my favor and the desk I'm chained to is right next to a window. I spend more time staring out the window than actually working. This is also how I found out about my boss and his dirty little secret. And ultimately how I used it to get a promotion.
It took me longer than it should have to notice what was going on. How they always took their breaks together. Let me back track for a moment -- I love pretending everyone is trying to get laid. Lady who cut me off on the highway? No worries, I'm sure she has her lover handcuffed to her bed at home and had accidentally left the key at the office and she's rushing back to him. Who am I to get in her way? I like to joke about taking out of towners on a tour of the city based on all the places I think I saw someone having sex. Even though 90% of that is usually just my wild imagination. After what happened today I'm going to have to give my sex detector a bit more credit.
So, back to my boss and his much older assistant. Like he's 30 and I'm pretty sure she's going on 60. They always go on break at the same time. And they will sit in his car. Parked in the back of the small office lot. They always come back in good moods. But I chalked that up to food. If it's not sex, food is definitely a mood enhancer.
I was in the restroom when I heard his assistant tell another coworker that she was breaking things off with him. That he was young enough to be her son and she couldn't keep cheating on her husband. She told the coworker that she had decided as of lunch today she was quitting. On the spot. Out the door.
So I watched. Closely. They left at the same time. But he came back only 10 minutes later and boy did he look mad. I found the whole situation hilarious. Well, that is until he decided to turn his ire on the lowest performing sales person.