The next morning, a few minutes after seven, I was dressed, nursing my first cup of coffee and thinking about my transgression with Rita. It had been exciting, delightful, lust filled and alive. Diagonally through the courtyard I could see that a light was on in the guest room. I got a second cup of coffee and headed down the hall.
When the door opened, my eyes lit up and I inhaled sharply. Rita was beautiful framed in the morning sun. Her hair wasn't combed yet. Her skin was fresh and clean. She was dressed in one of Roselyn's long cotton granny gowns. It must have been very apparent that I wanted her.
Rita was distant but polite. I was puzzled then I realized she was having second thoughts. "I brought you a coffee. I'll be in the kitchen for a while if you want a refill. By the way you are even more beautiful in the morning."
Ten minutes later, Rita's smile lit up the kitchen. She asked, "I hear a girl can get more coffee in the kitchen."
"You, Girl, could get anything you want in this kitchen."
Her smile faded and she grew quiet again. I needed to get things straight. "Rita, I'm usually playful like this. I'll try to tone down. If last night was a mistake, just tell me. I'm all grown up; I can take it. You do not have to cater to me in any way. I'm very happy that you and Roselyn have hit it off. She has a friend and more freedom because of you."
"Jim, I'm sorry. This morning I was feeling that last night was part of the job. I felt cheap and that I should just go home."
"No, Beautiful, you could not be more wrong. Catering to me is not part of your job. Everything I told you was true. You have swept me away and I am very attracted to you. However, I could never enjoy your company unless you felt the same. Let's both forget about yesterday and go back to the way it was for Roselyn's sake." I was crushed by what she had said. She could tell. My last line had been delivered very business-like to protect my ego. I poured her coffee without looking at her and left the room, retiring to my office.
Roselyn knocked and opened the door about one. I could see Rita behind her. "Rita, is taking me to IHOP and then to the Thrift Store. Give me a bye kiss. We'll be back about four."
"Did you ask her about this weekend?"
"I forgot. You ask her." Roselyn moved out of the way.
"This Saturday there will be about thirty kids from the age of six to ten, here in the afternoon to swim and have a picnic. They are from the abused women's shelter. Their moms will be attending a seminar. We could use some help. Can you and Carlie help? I'll pay each of you $100 for about four hours work."
Rita quickly agreed. "Make sure you both bring your bathing suits, so you can play life guards. We will block off the deep end of the pool."
Roselyn came home about five; Rita did not come back in with her. "Did Rita go on home?"
"Yes, said she had to find bathing suits for herelf and Carlie and asked for tomorrow off." There was a long pause and then Roselyn added, "She asked me point blank, if I were trying to set her up with you?"
I just looked at her.
"I was playing match maker, you know."
Still I said nothing.
"Do you like her?"
"Roselyn, she is twenty years younger than me, beautiful, sexy and has her own life all set. Rita is not interested in me. This is her job. She likes your company. Let's leave it at that."
"I know about last night."
"Then you know we did not have intercourse and that she had great remorse today. She said I had made her feel cheap and was considering leaving."
"What did you feel?"
"I need breathing room. I was heartsick when she had remorse. I hated that I had used my position to take advantage of her. I don't know how turned off she is, but I gather she really needs this job. It is horrible to think that she needs this job so much that she would put up with us and even stomach an old man touching her."
"Do you like her?"
"God, Roselyn, she takes my breath away. You know exactly what I like and you selected her well. But you are my wife. I will always be with you and I hate that Rita thinks catering to me is part of her job."
"Jim, I know you love me and will take care of me. We've been married for thirty years and I've been sick for fifteen. But I know you. I know how much you enjoy the company of women and sex. I can see you are unhappy and how much you miss sex and playfulness in your life. My body can't give you those things any more. I don't want you to give up that much for me. If you continue to do that, you will hate me in time. You would not find a woman on your own. I hoped I could find you one and maybe get a companion for myself in the process."
"I love you even more for what you tried to do. Maybe we can find such a person. If we ever do, I think that person will have to feel they are part of the family, not an employee. I could never want someone who felt like a cheap hooker and felt like they had to be with me. My hand is a better lover than that. At our age, in our situation, we don't have much chance of finding such a caring friend and lover. For now, please, let's drop the subject and I'll cook dinner. I cannot tell you how much it hurt to see the regret in Rita's eyes."
Saturday came and went. It was a success for the kids. I stayed on the food and out of the way all day. Roselyn, Rita, Carlie and two women from the shelter did a good job controlling and entertaining the children. Carlie was bright and energetic. She didn't make eye contact with me when we were introduced but all day her charges sought her out and laughed and played. I felt like shit. I could not shake the feeling that Rita had let me touch her for the sake of her job.