Having finished her shopping Anita decided on a cup of coffee before she made for home. Struggling along the high street with her plastic bags of purchases she arrived at her favourite café and entered. After giving her order she looked around in the hope of seeing someone she knew, but there was no one.
The truth was, Anita was a lonely woman. At forty-nine, her two daughters lived far away, and her husband had died from a heart attack, so Anita was lonely. The friends that she and Sid had had seemed to have dropped away from her since Sid's death, as if being on her own, she no longer fitted into the couple's pattern of life.
Sid had left her well off, and she had no need to seek employment, so she tried to fill in her days with voluntary and church work. This helped fill the void, but what she really wanted was someone to be intimate with, someone to go to the theatre and concerts with. Someone who would…She set that thought aside as too painful to hope for.
Finishing her coffee Anita rose and picked up her bags. As she did this the contents of one of them fell out, spilling across the floor. As she bent to pick up her goods, a young man came across and asked, "Can I help?"
Anita looked up and saw a boy in his late teens, tall, and if not exceptionally good-looking, he had a pleasant, jovial face. She seemed to vaguely know him from somewhere, but couldn't remember where.
"Thank you," Anita responded, and together they gathered the scattered things and put them back in the bag.
The young man lifted the bag, testing its weight. "Hey." He said, "This stuff is heavy, would you like me to give you a hand?"
Trusting her instinct that he wouldn't try to mug her, Anita thanked him and pointed out that her car was parked up the top of the high street. Together they lugged her goods to the car.
Out of politeness, Anita asked if she could give the boy a lift to his car.
"I don't have a car," he replied, "I was just going to catch the bus home."
Anita asked where he lived, and it turned out his house was only two streets away from Anita's, so she offered him a lift home. He accepted gratefully, and then she remembered where she had seen him before. He had occasionally walked down her street, probably on his way to the bus stop.
The trip home took about fifteen minutes, and in that time she learnt that the boy's name was Douglas ("Just call me Doug"), he was studying Engineering at what the locals still referred to as "The Institute," although these days it has a much longer and grander name. She further learned that he had come in to town that day in a last effort to acquire a book. It was a novel by a nineteenth century author, and had been long out of print. The local library had been unable to get a copy for him, so he had decided to give up the effort.
Surprised that this youth had an interest in such a work, and recalling that she had a copy on her shelves inherited as part of her father's rather extensive collection of books, she cogitated whether or not to offer Doug a loan of the book.
As they approached Doug's house, she said, "Look, I've got a copy of the book you want. If you promise faithfully to return it, I let you borrow it."
"Doug's eyes lit up with pleasure. "I'll promise anything," he laughed.
So, they continued on past Doug's house to Anita's. She invited him in, and while she searched for the book, Doug scanned her collection rather enviously. "You've got a wonderful library," he commented.
"A lot of it is from my father, but my late husband was quite a reader, and I, of course."
She found the book and handing it to him, and not quite knowing why, asked, "Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?"
Doug hesitated for a moment, then said, "Yes thanks. Tea please."
Doug stayed for half and hour, then promising once again to return the book, he excused himself and departed. That seemed to conclude the brief encounter. Anita thought he would probably return the book, and that would be that.
Over the following few days Anita found her thoughts returning to her meeting with Doug. "A very pleasant boy," she decided. "It would have been nice to have had a son like him," she thought nostalgically. "But the rotten devil would probably have gone off like his sisters anyway."
On the fourth day after their meeting, Doug came to return the book. He waxed enthusiastic about it, and Anita, pleased to have given so much pleasure, said, "If you'd like to borrow anything else, you're very welcome."
Doug took this up, and after another cup of tea in Anita's kitchen, he went homewards carrying two of her books. This set a pattern going wherein Doug returned and then borrowed more books, and supped more tea at Anita's kitchen table.
One day he arrived when Anita had a recording on. He listened for a moment, then said, "Vaughan Williams, isn't it?"
"Yes," Anita replied, "his sixth symphony." Doug sat silent, listening, while Anita went into her tea making routine. Doug had once more surprised her by what she believed was a taste contrary to the musical preferences of youth. Conversations between them grew ever more expansive, each finding out what they liked, and in the process learning something of each other's lives.
Anita discovered that Doug was twenty years old, and came from a distant city. He had come to their town because "The Institute" had an excellent reputation as a centre of engineering studies. The course was for five years, and Doug was in his second year. An option for postgraduate work for the more successful students was available, and Doug was working his way towards this.
She further found out that Doug was what the family Doug lived with called, "A paying guest."
The more Anita saw of Doug, the more she wanted to see him. Thoughts like, "The son I've always wanted" kept occurring to her. She tried to suppress the thoughts that came to her in the night as she struggled to relieve her sexual tensions. "I've got a maternal interest in him, that's all," she thought.
So, the weeks went by with Doug dropping in two or three times a week, and tending to stay just a little longer each time. On a few occasions, Anita invited him to have lunch with her, and once they had dinner together. Knowing he had no car, she sometimes gave him a lift when using a bus would have been difficult. This extended to become occasional trips out into the country and lunch at a pub. Two or three times they went to a concert together, and once to the theatre.
Anita knew that Doug had very little money and probably could not have afforded these entertainments, so she did the paying. She had to save Doug's pride and avoid to be seen as a woman buying herself a "Toy Boy." To do this, she got Doug to carry out odd jobs around her house and garden as a sort of repayment.
Anita continued to tell herself that her relationship with Doug was maternal, and indeed, they did seem to be like a loving mother and son. On the other hand, there lurked in the deep recesses of Anita's mind the thought that there are mothers who, when their son's enter puberty, have sensual thoughts about them. The sight of their young bodies, growing genitals and their struggles to cope with the overwhelming physical desire for a woman which often brings on emotional disturbances, can lead the mother to help relieve her beloved son.
Sometimes Anita felt she ought to severe the relationship between them, but to have such a lovely young man as her friend, and to share things important to her with him, was more than she could surrender. So, the relationship continued to grow, but with Anita having no real idea how Doug viewed it except that he seemed to enjoy being with her. She might have opened the subject with him but she feared where this might lead.
Summer came, and Anita, a keen gardener, spent more and more time in the garden. Her back garden was surrounded with a high brush fence, obscuring most of the garden from the neighbours' sight. Some afternoons, when the weather was suitable, Anita indulged herself by lying naked out under an old tree on the sun lounger,
One afternoon, as she lay dozing, she heard the noise of the side gate being opened. At first she could not imagine who would enter by that route, then she recalled that she had told Doug that she often spent time working in the back garden, and if he got no response at the front door, to come round the back.
Before she could reach for the light housecoat she kept handy, Doug came into view. Seeing her, he stood stock-still, embarrassed, then stammered, "Sorry."
Anita had risen and seized the housecoat, but not before Doug had seen her nude body. Not being the sort of person who panics, or pretends to panic, in these situations, Anita said as she put the coat on, "It's all right, darling. No harm done."
Anita realised immediately that she had called him "Darling." Whether Doug had noticed she was not sure. It had just come out of her as if it had been there all along waiting to be spoken. Once covered she looked at Doug still rooted to the spot, and noticed a growing lump in his groin. To cover the situation she said, "Let's go in and have some tea."
Doug had come to return some books and had brought a recording he thought she might like to hear.
Anita suggested that if he had the time they might hear it together, if not now, then on some other occasion. They had shared each other's music before, and this had given Anita a great deal of pleasure. For Doug it had the advantage that, as the people he lived with did not like his sort of music, he was very restricted in when he could play it. Anita seemed happy to join him in this pleasure almost any time.
Doug was unable to stop long on this occasion, so they made an arrangement for a couple of days hence. Anita went on to ask Doug if he would like to come to dinner, and they could make an evening of it. He was happy to agree.
When he had gone Anita finally gave way to what was troubling her. Setting aside all the thoughts of "Just a motherly interest," Doug's erection at the sight of her body forced her to face the truth of her own feelings.
She acknowledged that her friendship with Doug was a bit of a peculiarity. A twenty year old boy and a nearly fifty year old woman? The idea that this boy, despite the erection she had observed, could actually want her sexually seemed ridiculous.
She tried to fight down the thought, but then found herself standing naked before her mirror, assessing herself. "Bit plump round the hips. Legs always good, still not bad, but marked with childbirth, as were her still large but slightly drooping breasts. The nipples still looked good, though, standing our pink and firm. Hair short, well styled, not dyed had streaks of grey, and there were lines round her eyes and at the corners of her mouth. Still had all her own teeth – nice and white…" She stopped.
