My Lazy Ex Never Did That To Me

By way of background, you might want to see my earlier stories Nightime Disturbance and She Wants Rid. Fortunately, Lisa the girl's virginity I took "properly" in She Wants Rid didn't become pregnant and I didn't really see much of her before we both started at our respective universities. This is another true story also set in the late 1980's when there were no such things as MILF's. Instead sexy older women were known by the colloquial term of "Mrs Robinson's." The following is the true story of my encounter with a certain Mrs R.

I ended up reading politics at the University of Sussex. Campus tended to be pretty dead at the weekend with a lot of students going home to London. I'd heard a decent band were playing in Brighton at a pub called the Fox and Hounds and decided to give it a try.

I arrived at about 9.00-ish there was a support band who weren't much cop, but the main band were okay. The bands played in a large room upstairs in the pub with around seventy to eighty people present. As the evening wore on I became aware of a large group of women who were being quite loud.

I don't know how it happened but I ended up talking to them. I think it because I was on my own. When I mentioned I was a student they cracked a few jokes about it. I remember having quite a deep conversation with one of them; she was tall with long black hair probably in her late twenties. I thought I might be in with a chance but she mentioned her husband and kids.

I continued to talk to her and her some of her friend but towards the end of the evening I think she left with a few of them so there were only four of the original dozen women left. I remember I turned rather sharply and almost bumped into one of the other women.

She was a bit older than the rest of them late 30's, blond, quite short, that was all I could say about her because up until that point she hadn't said a word to me, and I had hardly noticed her.

I said something like, 'you alright.'

She nodded and gave a terse smile.

'You're very quite.'

She did not respond, although I could hardly blame and no doubt she would take exception to be chatted up by someone old enough to be her son/daughter.

I'd had a fair bit to drink at that moment so the following exchange was due to the fact I was under the influence of alcohol, 'can I get you a drink?'

She shook her head.

'I see, hubby picking you up soon.'

'No,' she loudly replied, before fixing me with an aggressive stare.

This led to one of her friends coming over.

'What's going on?'

'Nothing I replied.'

'Denise?' Her friend asked her.

But Denise said nothing and just left pursued by one of her other friends.

Her friend who I was later to discover was called Pauline, asked, 'what exactly did you say to her?'

'All I said was do you want a drink, she said no, and I just said something like is your husband picking you up?'

'You stupid prick.'

'What?'

'She's only recently separated from her husband.'

'Sorry, I didn't know.' Although it was just a flippant comment with no obvious intention to cause any offence I did feel pretty bad.

'I think you better apologise to Denise.'

'Yeah,' I said, 'I didn't know about her situation.'

Denise reappeared about ten minutes later, logically I should have bailed out immediately; instead I went over to Denies, 'sorry about what I said.'

Unsurprisingly she did not respond.

'I can get you that drink if you want.'

Again no reaction.

Pauline whispered in my ear, 'get her a large gin and tonic.'

As I went over to the bar I looked over my shoulder and noticed Pauline talking to Denise.

I returned to Denise, 'sorry,' I said as I handed her the drink, 'I didn't man to upset you.'

'It's alright,' she replied somewhat wearily, 'you weren't to know. How much was that?'

'What the drink?'

'Yes.'

'No it's okay.'

'Are you sure?'

I sipped my pint as I heard last orders being called and pictured my 5 mile walk back to university. My thoughts were interrupted by Denise.

'What are you studying?'

'Sorry.'

'At university, what is it you're studying?'

'Politics.'

She laughed.

'What's so funny?'

'Oh nothing.'

'There must be something.'

'It's just this was supposed to be my big night out, my friends were supposed to take me out into town go clubbing and stuff, but I end up here talking to a student, whose probably younger than my own daughter about his degree course.'

Shit I thought, husbands, children, she's got a kid the same age as me, the only woman in the night so far I thought I might have got off with was married with kids and left some time ago, but even then the fact she was a good 10 years older than me was a bit off-putting. But now I'm having this bizarre conversation with this woman who is old enough to be my mother. However, there was something, strangely it was the directing of her feet they had turned into me making a v-shape pointing towards my crotch.

By this time the band had finished time had been called and people were drifting away. I was still talking to Denise this time about her daughter who had gone away for the weekend; she also had a son who thankfully was a good few years younger than me.

'Are we off then?' Pauline asked.

Denise nodded and finished off the rest of her gin and tonic, 'well it was very nice talking to you and thanks for the drink.'

'It's okay,' I replied as I followed her and her friends out of the pub.

'Are you getting a taxi back then?' asked Denise,

'Taxi, I'm a poor student, I'm walking it.'

Pauline must have heard me.

'You can walk back with us I live just off the Lewes Road.'

'Yeah okay.'

The three women began walking which left me and Denise. I guess the cold air must have hit her as she stumbled and then giggled.

'Are you alright?'

'Yes,' she replied then 'no,' then she said, 'why are all men such pigs?'

I didn't have an answer to that so I just kept my mouth shut. At this juncture I did feel a bit sorry for her.

She stumbled again, 'I think I've had a bit too much to drink.'

'I guess you've got every reason to.'

'Yeah,' she replied bitterly. A few moments later, 'but I'm glad to see the back of him, we only stayed together for the sake of the kids.'

'Oh,' I replied, this type of relation break-up was all new to me.

'He was lazy too.'

'Sorry.'

'Really lazy in bed.'

Where did that come from? I thought to myself as Denise continued, 'he never properly satisfied me although I was expected to satisfy him.'

I didn't know how to read into or interpret that last comment, 'how do you mean?' I asked intrigued.

'He expected me to pleasure him but he never returned the favour.'

'You mean he never went down on you?'

'Never not in twenty years of marriage,' Denise suddenly stopped and turned to face me, 'sorry, I shouldn't be telling you all this, it's the drink talking.' With that she linked hold of my arm. Not in a sexual way but more of a matey way.

However her last comments had me thinking about licking pussy. The times I had gone down on a girl she really enjoyed it as I recalled how Lisa had cum hard on my tongue and even Mel who was very experienced enjoyed it.

The silence was interrupted by Denise, 'you've gone very quiet.'

'Yeah,' I mumbled slyly, 'just thinking.'

'About?'

'What you were saying about your ex.'

'Forget what I said earlier, I've had far too much to drink.'

'Sorry, it's just a bit weird that you were married to someone for so long and he never pleasured you in that way.'

'Well he thought it was disgusting, can we just drop it now please.'

'Sorry,' I said.

We continued the rest of the journey in silence as I pictured taking the long walk back to university being unable to forget about licking Denise's pussy.

Ahead of me, the girls paused at a side street. 'Do you want to come in for a night-cap?' Asked Pauline.

I looked at Denise who was impassive.

'Come in,' said Pauline.

'Yeah okay then.'

We walked the short distance up the road before Pauline stopped, fumbled in her bag for a key and then opened her front door.

Anyone want a smoke? Asked Pauline.

I wasn't into pot so I declined, she seemed a bit surprised, 'I'll just have a tea if that's okay.'

'Nothing stronger?'

'No thanks.'

Denise had a coffee.

The house had two reception rooms where a dividing wall had been knocked down and replaced by Louvre doors, which were partially open which made the rooms semi-separate.

Denise whilst waiting for her coffee had ordered a taxi to take her home to Hove which is the other side of Brighton.

I heard her moan that it would be forty five minutes for the cab to arrive. It appeared that Denise was very anti drugs as she sat in what was the front room. I sat down beside her on the settee she deliberately edged away from me.

'Don't be like that.'

'Look, I don't know what your intentions are but can you leave me alone.'

'I just can't get what you said about your ex not wanting to...' I gave her a wicked grin.

She gave me a look of complete distain.

'But what about before you met your husband, you must have had old boyfriends who did the deed?'

'I'm not going to answer that,' she replied as she looked away avoiding eye contact.

'You don't mean, a blokes never gone down on you?'

Again she did not respond.

'Can I tell you a secret?'

'If you must.'

'I don't find it disgusting.'

'What?'

'What you said earlier when we were walking back your ex found it disgusting, I certainly don't.' She remained silent, as I continued, 'and I'll tell you something else,' I gave her no time to respond, 'I'd really like to be the first.'

That was not the sort of thing I would usually say to a girl especially one old enough to be my mother but the alcohol was making me feel very randy indeed. Also I said it to get a reaction and I expected her to jump up and start shouting at me, instead she replied, 'you're really drunk and making a fool out of yourself.'

'No I'm serious, I lowered my voice, thinking about it is really turning me on.'

She shook her head.

'I understand, you're worried what your friends might think.' I didn't let her reply, 'say if I left the house ten minutes before your taxi arrived and waited at the garage on the main road. The taxi would come and collect you and could pick me up, and we could have a bit of fun.'

She shook her head, 'if you could hear yourself.'

'I understand where you're coming from, you think I could be some sort of psycho?'

She did not respond.

'Okay then,' I watched her reaction as I fumbled inside my coat pocket and pulled out my wallet, 'so what sort of psycho shows his victim his name,' as I showed her my student ID. 'Go on show it to Pauline, then if something bad happened she'd know who you went back with.'

'Nothing bad will ever happen because there is no way you're coming back with me.'

'No-one would ever know.' I paused, 'I'm not after a relationship with you and neither you are with me, I just want to show you what you've been missing all these years.'

'You're a cocky little shit,' she replied as she took a sip of coffee.

'Just imagine the kudos you'd gain.'

'What do you mean?' She replied impatiently.

'Well, with your friends, "oh Denise how's it been since the breakup?" "It's been great" I lowered my voice "this eighteen year old lad licked me dry and made me cum like a train."'

She let out a shocked gasp, before replying 'you're certainly persistent.'

I smiled, 'I do quite fancy you.'

'Of course you do.'

I ran my hand gently down her back.

She removed it.

'Of course it would really piss off your ex if he ever found out.'

There was no reaction. I repeated my action and so did she but with a little less vigour.

But the third time she let my hand remain, I gently stroked the back of her neck with a light a touch as I could muster.

I looked at her and noticed she had relaxed slightly, 'is that nice?'

She sat up with a jolt.

'I really like foreplay, touching, stroking and of course licking.'

She did not reply and I got the impression she was thinking about my proposition.

'Can I kiss you?'

'No, the others can see.'

'So if the others weren't there would you?'

'I don't know.'

'Anyway they can't,' I replied as I looked over my shoulder, 'they're too busy getting stoned, so you'll have to kiss me.'

She had a neutral expression in her face, 'look it's just a kiss goodnight, I'm going now, clearly you're not interested and nothing is going to happen, and I respect your wishes, just like if something did happen I would respect you the next morning...'

'Course you would.'

'It's not like we'd ever see each other again if something did happen.'

She did not respond so I continued, 'it's not like we work together so there's no awkward bumping into each other at the coffee machine, we live the opposite side of town, we have no shared interests, clearly you don't like the pub so we'd not meet there again, so I'm off now.'

'Oh...'

'Was that a hint of disappointment in your voice?'

'No.'

I laughed, 'course it wasn't, no tongues I promise.'

She nodded and I kissed her gently on the lips, I made sure our lips stayed together for just that little bit longer. 'I better say goodnight to your friends.'

I walked through the doors and said my goodbyes.

I then returned to the front room, Denise was looking into space, 'goodnight then Denise,' I said as I made my way to the lounge door. But I then stopped, turned around, walked silently over to Denise and said in a whisper, 'I'll be waiting for you by the garage.'

I exited the house and walked down to the garage which was to the left at the end of the road I considered the odds of her stopping there. Whilst all logic told me they were remote, there was something in her eyes as I exited the house that sparked something in my groin. So after buying a tin of coke at the garage I sat on a low wall which ran along the front of the garage and waited.

After about twenty minutes my arse felt like a block of ice and I was considering the long walk back to university. It was then I saw it, a taxi pull into Denise's sister's road. Although there was no guarantee it was for Denise I still felt a surge of excitement. A few minutes later the taxi exited the road and followed the main road which ran past the garage. The garage was set in the middle of a roundabout so in order to stop at the garage the taxi would have had to go back on itself.

I failed to notice the taxi had gone completely round the roundabout and was passing me for a second time. It stopped about twenty yards or so away from me on the pavement.

I examined the taxi at a distance it looked like the one that had gone up Denise's sister's road. I walked towards it with a mixture of excitement and trepidation.

I opened the door and immediately Denise spoke.

'Hi Steve if you want a lift.'

'Er yeah,' I replied.

She flashed me a quick "don't you dare say anything" look which led me to wonder what exactly she had told the taxi driver.

The journey to Hove took about fifteen minutes and throughout I could not believe that Denise had invited me back. Then I began to picture what exactly she wanted from this encounter. Before I had been very brazen promising to lick out her pussy, but now with the alcohol rubbing off it was a different matter entirely.

The taxi pulled up outside a row of houses.

Denise paid the driver and was out of the taxi before the driver could give her change, she then walked along the pavement leaving me trailing in her wake.

'Denise!'

'Quiet,' she hissed.

I followed her as she walked up the short path to her house.

She turned to face me, 'look I don't think this is a good idea.'

'What?'

'This, inviting you back to my house.'

'You can't just leave me here.'

'Keep your voice down, I don't want the neighbours hearing.' She opened her front door, 'inside,' she instructed.

I followed behind her as she led me into her front room, 'you can sleep on the sofa, I'll throw you down some blankets and I'll drive you back in the morning.'

I was lost for words as I replied with a, 'but...' I could accept her changing her mind, perhaps the alcohol too had worn off or she asked the taxi to stop on a whim, but she could at least offered me a cup of tea or something to eat as I was now starving.

My thoughts were interrupted by a dull thud as the blankets were thrown down from upstairs. I undressed down to my boxer shorts and lay down on the sofa as my mind went through the evening's events. I concluded that she did want her pussy licking but had bottled out at the last minute and all she required was a little bit of gentle persuasion. At the thought of this logic my cock became very hard and became even harder as I got off the settee and slowly climbed the stairs. Her door was ajar and I could hear her breathing. I didn't have a plan and so I just climbed into bed with her.

Denise replied with a shriek of alarm.

'Sorry, it's only me Steve.'

'What are you doing?'

'Ere, I thought you might want some company.'

'No, not that sort of company.'

The tone of her voice told me that nothing was going to happen, 'I didn't mean that,' I lied, 'it's just that your sofa's really uncomfortable.'

She remained impassive as her breathing returned to normal.

'Don't worry I'll keep my hands to myself, you can trust me.'

'I should really ask you to leave...'

'But the university's miles away and I haven't got any money, I'll freeze to death, or get lost, or...'

'Okay,' she sighed, 'but if you touch me in any way...'

'I promise.'

She then turned over on her side so her back was to me, I was tempted to give it a few minutes before prodding her with my rock hard cock, but in light of her words and the situation I didn't think it was such a good idea.

I awoke the next morning taking in my new surroundings as my mind raced through the previous evenings events. Realising without the alcohol perhaps I might not have said half the things I did.

'Good morning Steve.'

'Er morning,' her voice sounded more authoritative than last night. Consequently part of me wanted to go, but the other part was intrigued to explore further why she had picked me up in the taxi and let me spend the night in her bed.

She sat up in bed and turned to face me, 'you were very drunk last night.'

'I wasn't that...' I protested.

'I bet you don't even remember half the things you were saying.'

I was tempted to reply, "I remembered everything," but I muttered something before she cut in.

'That's why I had to pick you up last night anything could have happened to you the state you were in.'

"Not how I remembered it," I thought to myself. In the ensuing silence I took a sideways glance at Denise. True, in the cold light of day, her face was more lined and older than last night's alcohol influenced memories. I then looked a bit lower at her chest and was more than pleasantly surprised for her V-neck nightie provided me with a great view of her cleavage.

'I better drive you back.'

She was acting as if last night never happened. 'I can get the train.'

'No I insist, you did buy me that drink last night, or don't you remember that.'

I nodded, 'of course I remember that.'

'Oh and what else do you remember?'

Her tone was dismissive.

'Everything.'

'What do you mean?'

'I wasn't the only one who'd had a bit too much to drink, remember what you said about your ex?'

'Oh God,' she blushed 'I didn't think I said that to you.'

I gave a devious little smile, '"very lazy in bed," was how you described him.'

She frowned at me.

'Never pleasured you properly.'

'Okay Steve that's enough,' she looked away embarrassed before she cut in, 'do you want a cup of tea?'