Based on my life: Names and places have been changed to protect privacy.
My head was pounding. I sat in-between my two best friends on a love seat in a room full of adults. Most of them our parents, and all their boring friends. It was the annual New Year’s day party. That year the party was thrown by Lisa’s parents in their home.
The three of us Lisa, Carrie and I, had crept in early that freezing New Years morning. We had slipped into the house, after a wild night of drinking and the usual lewd sex acts. Ya know, the kind of thing that young people do at unsupervised, not to mention forbidden parties.
So there we were ten hours later. All three of us cramped into the only empty sitting place left in the house. We were greenish in color from the hangover, smiling our best fake smiles, and sipping grape juice from Lisa’s mother’s finest crystal.
“I want you to kill me if I ever end up like these women!” Carrie grumbled, looking around the room.
“What?” Lisa laughed.
“Look at em…” Carrie sneered “I bet you every woman in this room has no idea their husband is screwing his sectary or whatever.. All of them to concerned with their jazzercise classes to notice!”
“Don’t worry” Lisa said laughing. “We’d kill you long before you ever started jazzercise” Carried gave Lisa a dirty look. “I know what you mean though” she said seriously. “Good thing our parents aren’t like that huh?” she said looking at me.
My stomach churned. My mind skipped, flashing the memories of her fathers mouth on my breasts. The way his tongue grated against my clit. The sound of his breathing while he fucked me. Carrie was laughing. She was laughing hard and elbowing me. Elbowing me back into reality.
“What are you laughing about!” Lisa said confused.
“Oh.. um well.. ya know..” Carrie said regaining her composure “Lola's parents
are divorced..” Damn I hated Carrie at that moment! “What?” I thought, “Is she trying to give me a heart attack?”
“I meant her mom and Lou, stupid!” Lisa looked at me strangely. “Lola what’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you gonna be sick?” I was clammy and shaky. Guilt had sent pains through out my body. I was a sinner. I was hell bound for sure! I looked into the kind eyes of one of my best friends. She had the same as her mother. The guilt hit my stomach. It sent me into an acidic ocean of nausea. I was so sorry. I loved them. I did not want to hurt anyone. With him though, it was beyond my control.
“Lola!” Carrie said grabbing my neck pushing me forward. “Get your skinny ass upstairs! if your gonna be sick! Your gonna get us all busted for last night!”
“Yea go!” Lisa said quickly.
I worked my way through the maze of boring adults. As passed the TV room where my sweet boyfriend sat. He was there with Lisa’s brothers and boyfriend. Again, guilt sent pains through my body, this time it made me shake. There he was, so trusting so kind, just watching football with the guys. “Yes, you’re a bad person” I thought to myself as I walked away.