This is a short story born from the experiences several of my friends suffered through. The story and characters are fictitious, but the circumstances are real. No one under 18 is involved in any sex in this story. In fact, fair warning, there's not much sex at all. This is just a romance between two people who find each other in an unusual way.
Thanks to all the readers who have supported me. Comments are always welcomed to help me improve as I develop my new favorite hobby.
Special thanks to NoraFares who has honored me with her proofreading skills and valuable advice. If you find errors, they're my fault. They probably crept in when I made changes after Nora's proofreading. If you love good writing, check out stories by NoraFares.
©BarryJames1952
*****
I missed her.
Why? I don't know. But during the 4 months I've lived in my condo on Alki Beach, twice every day she walked her dog past me as I sat on my covered porch. I always had a fresh bowl of water by the sidewalk for the many dogs that walked by with their companions. Her cocker spaniel routinely stopped to drink. Then she disappeared about a week ago and I wondered if I'd ever see her again.
She always dressed the same. Her baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants completely hid any hint as to what was underneath. She could have been skinny or plump. There was no way to tell. She always wore one of several different beanie hats that were pulled low to just above her eyes. I think she had eyebrows, but I'd never seen them. Her long, flowing dark brown hair came well below her shoulders—almost to the middle of her back. Observing her, I couldn't tell if she was 20 or 50 years old. She hid herself well in plain sight.
The first several weeks after I moved in, I wasn't sure if she even noticed me. Then one day I briefly caught her eye and I said, "Good morning." She said nothing. I took it as a personal challenge, so I greeted her every morning and every evening.
After several unsuccessful attempts, she finally returned my greetings, although somewhat grudgingly. Two times a day, we shared the same few words, 'good morning', and 'good evening.' Eventually, she almost smiled. As the weeks went on her smiles were more freely given. But still, the same greetings and no more. I sensed that if I approached and confronted her that it would be a mistake. So, every day I sat in my porch chair and just greeted her.
Then, she stopped walking by. Did I scare her or upset her somehow? I wasn't sure.
I missed her.
But now I see her approaching. She's back. I was determined that today we would grow our dialog past our limited shared interaction.
"Good morning," I projected so I knew she heard.
"Hi."
I was thrilled she expanded our repertoire of words to include a friendlier greeting.
"I missed you," I offered hoping she'd realize I noticed without being threatened. It seemed to startle her a bit.
"What?"
"I said I missed you. I haven't seen you for a while."
"Oh," she said with a confused look on her face. "I was sick. See you later." She left no room for more interaction.
"Goodbye," I replied almost as if it was between a statement and a question. I was thrilled that I broke through. It was if I'd won a great victory.
My sense of victory was short-lived. As she walked away, another wave of depression and anger hit me like a ton of bricks. Was this what my life had become? My greatest victory in the past 5 months was getting a strange woman to say a few words? I was pissed. I was pissed about the turn of events in my life. I was mad that God let them happen. And now, I let some strange loner of a woman get into my head. I was pathetic.
Seven months ago, I was living a fast-paced life in a brokerage firm in New York. Money-wise, I was set for life. I was happily married and could see my life unfolding into its joyful next phase now that both of my children were out on their own. Then Nancy, my wife of 25 years, blindsided me and ripped my world apart. She wasn't happy, she said, and it had to be my fault.
And my so-called friends? Ron, the guy who I thought was my best friend and confidant, gave me hell for cheating on Nancy. That was news to me! I never looked at another woman much less cheated. Nancy was spreading lies to make herself the victim, and Ron and the others believed her? Ron knew me. They all knew me but they bought into her deception. They gave me no benefit of the doubt. Now I knew where I stood, so to hell with them.
Then life decided to gut-punch me one more time when my beloved dog, Laika, had to be freed from her suffering. She was free. I was held captive by all-encompassing loneliness.
I decided to embrace being alone. If that's where life dumped me, then let it define me. Money—I had. Friends, romance, close human contact—all eluded me. So be it. I needed to start over, away from all the hypocrisy surrounding my ex-wife and former friends.
My idea of a fresh start in Seattle seemed ideal at first. Yeah, I missed my kids back in New York, but we talked regularly. But most important—I was away from all the treasonous people that threw me away.
After the first six weeks in my self-imposed exile, reality started to sink in. This fresh start was turning horribly stale. The concept of a new life sounded so ideal, but the emptiness was now consuming me. I felt trapped, caged in by bad choices, left to dry up on a deserted island even though I was surrounded by humanity. None of the people around me knew me or cared about me. The few people remaining that I cared about were all in New York. I had no one within 3000 miles to knew me much less loved me.
So, this is what I chose. I'm a hermit living in a crowded city. I had no purpose—nothing that gave my days meaning. I'm the grouchy old man no one wants to know. My anger changed me. I couldn't live like this—it's not me.
But right now, it is me. Damn.
Now, this strange woman has invaded my priorities. Perhaps drowning in my emptiness caused this mystery woman to capture my thoughts. I couldn't say I was attracted to her since I really hadn't seen her or had a meaningful conversation. What little I could see of her face was pleasant. She was natural. I never saw a hint of makeup. I realized that if I saw her out on the town dressed for dinner or some occasion that I'd never recognize her.
"Enough," I shouted to no one. Staying on the porch in my usual spot, I opened my laptop and reviewed my investments to try and increase my nest egg. I followed my daily routine as my mood darkened and my anger simmered. I worked in the morning, then walked to my favorite place, The Chowder House, for lunch.
As I sat at the bar eating lunch, I considered that the bartender, Chuck, was one of the few people in Seattle that knew my name. I pondered that for a few moments and realized it was his job to be friendly. The realization hit me that my relationship with Chuck existed because that's what he was paid to do. Basically, he was the equivalent of a hooker, but dealing in social intercourse rather than sexual. Certainly, he would talk to me. My daily twenty-dollar tip paid for his services.
I felt pathetic.
My normal day continued. After lunch, I took my long walk to the gym, where I lifted weights and pummeled the punching bag imagining different faces as my targets. One face dominated my fantasies. I'd never hit a woman, even Nancy, but a man can dream—can't he?
As per my routine, on the way back to the condo I stopped to buy a sandwich to eat later for dinner.
My condo. That's what it was. As I thought of that, another dagger of reality plunged itself into my solitary existence and fed my anger. My condo was just a place to live. I never thought of it as home. My not-so-loving wife destroyed my security and the only home I ever wanted. I was homeless. Money—I had. A home was what my soul craved and needed.
I wasn't made to be alone. Seattle was a mistake.
By five in the afternoon, I just sat and gazed out over Elliot Bay while drowning in my anger and self-pity. I don't know why I chose to live at Alki Beach. I don't consider myself a beach person. But it was peaceful, and everything I thought I wanted was nearby. The view was always calming. Now the fear that this was my life for the rest of my years caused me to shudder. I sat for several hours dwelling on the pitiful state of my existence when my mind was pulled to the present.
"Good evening," she said almost cheerfully.
"Hello again. Another lovely night for a walk."
"Yes. I always mean to thank you for providing water for the dogs walking by."
"Like many folks here in West Seattle, I love dogs." I was thrilled to finally talk with this stranger.
"Princess is appreciative. Do you have a dog too?" Her question was innocent, and yet pained my heart.
"I did. I just lost her," I replied with a grimace.
