If You're Going to Harper Valley,
Be Sure to Wear Some Flowers In Your Hair
**
These fortnightly gatherings were playing havoc with our lives. If you think cigarettes are hard enough to give up, try cutting down on skimpy little knickers and push-up bras once you have a taste for both...as it were!
"Barely had Jerry and Michelle departed that evening, than it was on!
"C'mon dad.....Pleeasse take us this weekend! We'll be good."
"That's the problem Jenna," I said, "It's your interpretation of 'being good' that worries me. Look what happened tonight? Give you two any opportunity and its every man for himself these days."
"Didn't see you showing too much restraint with Michelle dad," muttered Kylie, perfecting her cutesy-little-daughter routine just inside the kitchen doorway.
"That's enough out of you two," I replied, fully aware I was never going to win an argument with either of them, whatever the rules. "And you can stop that cheeky pouting Kylie - we're not going OK?"
"Sure dad," she grinned and headed off to bed, shepherding Jenna ahead of her. "Goodnight daddy," they both chorused from half way up the stairs, before breaking down in a fit of giggles. Ya gotta love them!
The subject of Warwick's upcoming hosting-debut wasn't raised for the next day or so. I figured I was on top of the situation and back on track for "responsible parent of the month" nomination. Amazing the damage just one 'phone call can do! Shortly after 8 pm Friday - the entire teenage entourage was out - enjoying boyfriends, girlfriends or sleep-overs, when my cell rang.
"Hi Mr Baker," floated delicately from the micro-speaker. Recognising that confident little voice, yet having no expectation of hearing from her so soon, I felt eighteen again.
"C'mon Larissa," I said, "Call me Noel." So happy was I to hear from her, she could have called me anything she damn well felt like - I would have crawled across hot coals to hear from her.
She said she hoped I hadn't minded her calling but she just wanted to say hello and see if I was going to the party on Saturday. At that particular second I wasn't even thinking of the party or anything else much above her beautiful face, tender lips and wholesome youth. As she spoke with me I could visualise just how she was sitting, the delicate curve of her hips, one hand playing idly as it always was, with those little curls up near her forehead. I wondered what color ribbon she had in her hair and whether she was just the slightest bit damp even talking to me. I wasn't actually thinking of her in any blatant sexual way at all strange to say, simply happy as all hell that she'd called.
"Yeah Larissa," I was saying, "Thing is, I actually told the girls I wouldn't be taking them again. "
"Oh!" She sounded just so disappointed. "Does that mean you won't be going either?"
I thought for a split second of asking her out on a date instead, before reality kicked-in big time. "What the fuck are you thinking Noel? An eighteen-year-old girl dating a guy in his late forties.....VERY late forties? Yeah right!" I collected my thoughts rapidly.
"Larissa, I would dearly love to go especially knowing that you'll be there to be quite honest, but if I do, how can I justify to Kylie and Jenna, going myself while insisting they stay home? Kinda a double standard there doncha think?
"Well why can't they go?" she asked. "It's not as if you're forcing them too." God, the simplicity and logic of the female mind-set! She was continuing, "And I know dad will be soo disappointed."
Now that I could understand! Recalling immediately those images of him gently spreading Jenna's legs as she lay on me, while I pulled her bra straps down, there is no way he wouldn't have been planning on either a re-run or a repeat performance with her sister. Worse still, the thought now of taking on the role of voyeur at such a spectacle, was anything but repugnant to me. I hesitated before I answered her.
"Did George actually say anything about what happened at the Archer's place Larissa? I asked tentatively.
I think she half-choked..."What didn't he say!" she replied. "He thought that Jenna was just so hot and that none of the other girls could hold a candle to her....I think that was the phrase he used."
"Hmmmm, so the guy has taste" I thought to myself. This was panning-out as a major major re-think. I mean I could hardly disappoint her greatest fan could I?
"Well maybe....just one last fling," I said to her. I heard the swift intake of breath. She probably punched the air with a "Yes" too!
"I'll make it up to you Noel," she whispered teasingly before hanging up. So bad was my subsequent fit of shaking, it was all I could do to depress the "end call" button.
Kyles was home later that night but I didn't tell her the inquest had been re-opened. First thing the next morning I had to pick up Jenna from her sleep-over and take the two of them to school. Needless to say, following a brief tete-a-tete in the rear seat, Kylie ever the spokesperson, asked hopefully just as we pulled up at the main gates, "Had any second thoughts dad?"
I told them I had recanted my stance on the subject, but just this once and not to take it as carte blanche from here-on in. The squeals of delight, kisses and shoulder-hugs that followed that little statement necessitated my explaining to various parental onlookers, "It's OK Guys, we're just a really close family!"