I dreamt about Daniel that night; a bright, vivid scene which I could only remember in fading patches when I awoke: lying alone, sweaty, and frustrated. The definite tingle between my thighs pissed me off and added to my frustration. I didn't want to want Daniel and everything which he represented, but I did.
Sex without love, without any sort of relationship; was I capable of that? Could I take advantage of the passion between us and still remain detached? I wasn't entirely sure and Daniel Sutcliffe certainly wasn't the sort of person to get involved with. Was there any emotion there, any regard for me other than sexual attraction? Anything save antagonism?
I knew, almost instinctively, that there was a lot he could teach me; the others had been boys compared to Daniel and that frightened me a little too. What had I been missing out on? The desire that Daniel could make me feel just by being next to me was greater than any I'd known before. What did that say about me? More importantly, what did that say about him?
I rolled over and punched my pillow from sheer frustration, trying in vain to banish the image of Daniel naked in my bed and pleasuring me from my mind. Want flooded me so strongly I almost moaned aloud.
Was he lying awake too, angry and frustrated over me? It would be so easy to reach for the vibrator in my bedside drawer and take the edge off what I was feeling. It had been a long time, I mused; maybe that was half the problem.
I glanced over at my alarm clock. 3:37.
Dammit
; more than three hours before the alarm went off and there was little possibility of me sleeping again.
"Aw, fuck it." I mumbled out loud in the darkness, reaching for my bedside drawer. I tried to ignore the small laughing voice in my head which teased me:
what would Daniel think if he only knew...?
I owned a bright pink bullet vibrator, a frivolous gift to myself after I'd dumped the last boyfriend. I'd bought it online to spare myself the embarrassment of being recognized at the local sex shop, and to be honest I'd only used it a few times. It had been so long since I'd had an orgasm I was starting to wonder if all my parts still worked.
I slipped a hand beneath my pyjamas, seeking out the dampness between my legs, jumping at the sudden contact of my finger against my clitoris. It felt good. I'd forgotten how good. With a sigh, I dipped a finger lower into my pussy, laughing out loud as I found the wet heat of my arousal. Dreaming of Daniel had done this to me; a month ago I wouldn't have thought it possible.
My vibrator lay expectantly beside me, but my fingers felt so nice I left it alone, questing instead with my own hand, relearning the secrets of my body and thinking of Daniel. I could picture the hard planes of his face, the broad width of his shoulders, the electric heat of his body next to mine, the commanding passion of his kisses.
Was he well endowed?
I giggled as I wondered, stroking my clit, encouraging the building rush within me. Well, he did have large feet and hands, and I'd heard the old wives' tale that that was a pretty good indicator. Besides, no matter what his size, I knew Daniel was more than capable of bending me over and filling me so deeply it would make me scream; just as he'd promised me that afternoon.
A flood of mental images rushed through my mind; frantic, fantastical imaginings of sex with Daniel. Would he like my body? Would I like his? Would he easily find all the places which made me squirm? There was a tiny spot at the base of my neck which could melt me, and I loved having my nipples sucked. Just imagining Daniel at my breast while I touched myself made me come in a rush. I moaned my satisfaction to the empty room.
The receding contractions of my orgasm were pleasant, but seemed like they were hardly enough to cool the burning need I felt. I'd scratched the proverbial itch and now the itch just seemed stronger. With another sigh of frustration I crossed my arms behind my head and stared up at the ceiling; beside me the alarm clock ticked mockingly. I groaned out loud; 4:06 a.m. and I had nothing better to do than think of Daniel.
-------
The next morning brought a surprise. I arrived at work to find my drafting table cleared of my mess of sketches and photos, the broad surface was instead home to a small yellow sticky note with only two short words:
my office
.
I recognized the handwriting instantly. Just what the hell was Daniel playing at? With a low growl of frustration I rushed up the stairs towards Daniel's office, wishing I had longer legs so I could take the stairs two at a time. His office was empty. In the corner was his antique drafting table and it was covered by a new, pristinely white sheet of 24x36 drafting vellum. Closer inspection revealed that the title block in the lower right-hand corner had my initials already filled in in the little "drawn by" column; I stared wordlessly at the blank paper for a time, unsure of what it meant.
I smelled the Earl Grey tea before I was physically aware of Daniel's approach. He handed me a steaming mug and stood beside me to stare down at the unmarked vellum.
"I thought that you would do the working drawings; I'll handle the call for tender and start on the written specifications. You'll get more work done up here, away from the other junior architects." Daniel's voice was deep, but edged with the commanding tone I'd heard a million times before. It was clear he expected no argument.
My disbelief kept me silent; he wanted
me
to draw the plans? My hands shook so hard my tea trembled in my cup.
Through the open doorway I could hear my fellow junior architects trickling in downstairs, calling greetings to each other as they arrived; I couldn't quite comprehend how they could be so calm and normal when my own life was careening suddenly out of my control. If Daniel was trying to extend an olive branch he'd most definitely failed; it wasn't a gesture of good will, it was a death sentence.
"Clara?"
"I- I can't do this, Daniel. I can't. This is
your
project, I'm just the junior." Panic edged my voice; I spilled hot tea over my knuckles but didn't really feel it. "I'll fuck it up. I'm sure Maddock wants you to do the drawings, I'm just supposed to do the grunt work."
Daniel growled. "Says who?"
"Me! Maddock! Everyone!" The hysteria fought to get out of my throat where it sat burning. "Mrs. Kendall is a big, important client with lots of money and influential friends. This project is very important to the firm; I can't mess this up, Daniel."
"Then don't."
Daniel squeezed my arm in an almost friendly way, seemingly impervious to the jolt of sensation his touch caused me, before he crossed the room to sit at his desk. I stood in stunned silence, watching him retreat; my vision blurred slightly around the edges and I fought to take a breath.
A few sips of tea later and I was slightly calmer than before. I sat in the chair to ease the burden on my wobbling legs, but my mind still spun. I simply did not understand Daniel Sutcliffe. Just when I thought I had him figured out he threw another curveball my way. First the passionate kisses, and then wanting me to draw the plans? I had to resist the urge to lay my head down on the perfectly clean sheet of vellum and cry.
Did Daniel really think I was capable of handling this or was he setting me up for failure?
Don't be ridiculous,
I chided myself. The little voice in my head sounded condescending; maybe the lack of sleep was getting to me.
Why would he want you to fail? He's the project leader, so your failure would be his as well
.
Only the day before Daniel had told me my talent made him angry, not proud. So was this just an elaborate set-up to make me look bad in front of an important client and Mr. Maddock? The little voice in my head wouldn't be silent.
Just draw the fucking plans and show them all how wrong they are!
With a laugh I set a new lead into my favourite mechanical pencil, positioned my straight-edge at just the right spot on the vellum, and double-checking my measurements I began to draw.
Tea was brewed at regular intervals, and sometime around noon a ham and swiss sandwich was left beside me. I ate it without tasting it. A new project always consumes me entirely, and this one was no different. Every line was measured precisely to scale, then double-checked before being drawn. I liked watching the shape of the building take place on the paper.
I always started with the ground floor plans, before moving on to the basement and remaining storeys. Once those were done I could focus on the drawings of the elevations from each side of the building, then I'd worry about drafting the specific architectural details. I wanted to get the staircase drawn out in meticulous detail, it would need a lot of work, and I didn't want the contractor to have any room for error. A good set of plans could take dozens, if not hundreds, of hours of work.
