The orderly entered the room he introduced himself to him as Eric, and told him that he would he taking him down for his testing. He looked up at Tara with unsure look on his face. Tara just smiled, and shook her head.
"Don't worry he's harmless." Tara whispers in his ear.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I am sure, I work with him every day."
"Will you come with me?"
"I will walk down with you, but I can't go in with you, that part you will have to do on your own." Taking her hand into his, she looked at Eric. "He's ready let's go." Unlocking the brakes on the gurney they had to go past the waiting area where his wife was in fact sitting. Seeing him being taken past her with Tara at his side just burned her ass even more. She got up out of her chair, and stepped in front of the gurney.
"Tell me where you are going with him." she demanded.
"We are taking him down for testing; he will be back here in about an hour, and I am pretty sure you just found that out."
"Well then I am going down with him, let go of his hand you can stay here." Tara ignored what she said as he held on even tighter to her hand.
"Oh you're not going anywhere with me, the only place your going is home. Why don't you go home and just sit alone, and be the miserable bitch that you are by yourself. Tara hasn't done a damn thing except be here for me, it's a hell of a lot more than you ever do. Now just go away."
"This is your fault, He wants nothing to do with me now because of you, I never should have let you in that room at home in the first place." She grabbed onto Tara and tried to pull her away from him. Seeing her pulling this little stunt, he sat up on the gurney and just glared.
"Let go of her NOW!"
"Hey it's alright, just please calm down, and don't let her set you back to where you were when we first brought you in here." Tara pleaded softly. "Lie down and put some wonderful thoughts into your head instead of all of this." Hearing her words, he laid back down and instantly had a wonderful smile on his face; Tara knew just what he was thinking about.
"I told you earlier to back off; I won't allow you to upset him again, he has asked you to leave; now I'd advise you to do so. Just go, he's not going to get any better if you keep doing this to him. He asked you to go home now do so." Taking his hand into hers, they went down to radiology together. Eric placed him outside the waiting room as he went over and checked him in. Tara stayed right along side of him.
"Are you sure you won't come in with me?"
"It's not that I won't, I can't no one is allowed in there except the x-ray tech, and the patient. I am sorry. But I can leave you with something that might keep your happy thoughts going until you're finished."
"Oh is that right?"
"Yes that's right?"
"What might that be?" she didn't say a word; she just leaned down to him and kissed him softly. Her timing was perfect, just as she stood up Eric was coming back around the corner.
"Who is doing his testing tonight?" Tara asked Eric.
"I don't know they didn't tell me, you know they don't tell us orderly's a damn thing around here except what to do and where to go." Eric replied with a laugh.
"Let me see his papers please." Eric handed his papers to Tara; she looked at them and smiled.
"What's the matter?"
"You're going to be in really good hands in there honey. David is doing your testing tonight he's awesome; all of my patients that have had their testing done by him have had nothing but wonderful things to say about him.
"It's time for me to take him."
"Ok, you go on with Eric, and I will be waiting for you when you come out." Tara tried really hard to keep herself together, she knew what he was going to be going through, and she wanted to be in there with him, but she knew she couldn't.
"Where am I to take him when he's done?"
"I believe he is just going up to his room, I have to go back to the E.R. so I will verify that. Are you going to stay here or are you going back to your station?" "I will be back at my station; they will call me when he's ready to go where ever he is going." Tara told Eric that she would come and find him with the information when she had it confirmed. She not so willingly released his hand, and watched Eric take him out of her sight. She turned and walked back toward the E.R. when her personal pager went off. Removing it off her hip she found that it was her best friend Lacey who had paged her. Tara proceeded upstairs to the room that he was being admitted into and called her.
"Hey Lacey, you paged me?"
"Yeah I wanted to see what you were up to, and see if maybe you wanted to go out tonight."
"I can't leave tonight; if you come down here and meet me in room 113, I will explain it all to you."
"Tara, what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Come on now, you and I have been best friends for over ten years, you can't tell me there is nothing wrong with you. Please tell me what's wrong."
I don't really want to get into it over the phone, just come down here and you and I will discuss it." They talked for a few minutes, said their goodbyes, and Tara headed back down to the E.R. to gather his belongings and to verify that information for Eric.
On her way back upstairs, she stopped at Eric's station, and told him of the confirmation, that he infact would be bringing him to room 113 when he was finished. She also asked him to call the room just before he was to bring him up. He agreed and Tara went on her way. Just as Tara reached the room, her girlfriend was right behind her.
"Come in here with me and close the door please."
"Talk to me Tara, tell me what's wrong." Tara sat in the chair closest to his bed, as she just totally broke down in tears.
"Girl what have I done?"
"What do you mean what have you done, what did you do?"
"The reason I can't leave here tonight is because I am waiting for the patient that is being admitted into this room?"
"Is it someone I know?"
"No, you don't know him, and neither did I until earlier tonight when I got a call just before the end of my shift."
"But isn't your shift done?"
"Yes my shift ended 3 hours ago, but however my heart hasn't."
"Oh no, Tara tell me you didn't do what I think you did. Tell me you didn't do the same thing that I did, in fact that very same thing that I struggled with for months. Please tell me you didn't fall for a married man."
"Yes I did, and darn it, I am not going to sit here and try to make excuses for it, and I am not going to say I am sorry. It's like I told the medic earlier, you didn't see what I saw when he looked at me tonight, and you didn't feel what I felt when I thought we were going to lose him. And then when we got here, you didn't hear the fear in his voice, when he thought I was away from him, or the fear when the alarm on the heart monitor went off. Or the electrical chill that went through me when he held my hand for the first time tonight. You didn't feel the warmth that I felt when he touched me, or when he kissed me."
"Oh wait a minute, stop right there. He kissed you? Why did you let him kiss you?"
"Yes he did. I tried to resist it, but maybe I didn't actually realize until tonight just how lonely I really am. After Michael left me, I had a hard time for a while, but I buried myself in the ambulance, school, and work."
"But Tara, he's married."