Next month I shall be sixty-seven years old. Before then there will be the fifth anniversary of the day my darling Dorothy was taken from me. A merciful release, said people who had known of her illness; and so it was. I still think of her, of course, and that is why I cannot help feeling just a little guilty about the turn my life has taken in the intervening years.
Sex was never that important to Dorothy. At any rate, not once our early ardour had dwindled. And somehow I suppose I just adopted her way of thinking. There were stories in the papers about something they called 'the sexual revolution' but I never felt it applied to us. Certainly not as we grew older. Darby and Joan who used to be Jack and Jill, as the song puts it.
So how would Dorothy feel if she knew the things I get up to nowadays? If she can look down and see me ... in action, as it were, she would surely be scandalised at first; I hope she would come to realise that I have found a new way of life that is very good for me. Dorothy's memory is on my conscience, I have to admit, but I have to balance that against the excitement, the fulfilment that each new day promises. Thrills quite unlike any she ever experienced.
It all began quite quickly. Only a few weeks after the funeral I was in the garden at the front of my cottage tending my roses: there's a pale mauve variety, called Compassion, I'm fond of, and a yellow one called Apricot - that's a favourite, too. But it had been a terrible summer for greenfly. Sad, really, after all my hopes. I was contemplating the possibility of salvaging a few blooms for the village show when a car drew up with a sharp toot on the horn. I looked up to see The Major and his wife climbing out. Unwelcome visitors, I'm afraid, but in a small village one has to try to be polite.
His name is Frank Johnson but everyone calls him The Major. Sometimes, behind his back, The Mad Major. Quite short, sandy hair, straight back, barks a bit when he talks. I'd always thought him a bit of a bore with a tame wife but people say he means well. No one seems to know how long it is since he left the Army, or whether he saw active service. Doubtful, in my view. But he still plays the part. Gave me a little salute when I reluctantly invited them both indoors. No real option after he'd said there was something he wanted to talk about.
I offered tea or coffee. The Major said Brenda would like tea - she just nodded agreement - but he wouldn't mind a drop of scotch if that was possible. Neat would be fine, he said, when I offered water with it. By the time I returned from the kitchen with tea for his wife and me, his glass was empty. I didn't suggest a refill.
"So how are things?" he asked as I sat down.
"Oh, so-so. You know how it is."
"Yes," he said. "We do know how it is. That's why we called round."
Not knowing where this was leading, I said nothing.
"You're not the first, and you won't be the last. Village this size, lot of elderly folk. Not surprising, really."
"No," I said, bewildered about what was supposed not to be surprising.
"Bereavement. The dear departed. All that. You're by no means the only one."
That, at least, I could understand. Funerals hereabouts, I knew, were much more common than marriages or christenings. When Dorothy and I moved here in preparation for my retirement, the village had a population of under two thousand, and the figure has declined steadily. There used to be three public houses but now there are only two. There's a small general shop and a newsagent that also serves as a post office. The Church is served by a vicar who looks after four parishes and visits ours on alternate Sundays. Three times a week there's a bus service into the nearest town, twenty miles away. Barely enough even though we are an elderly, dwindling population.
"Yes," I said, remembering a number of solitary souls I sometimes encountered in the bar of my local.
"The important thing," the Major continued, "is not to mope. Get on with life. There's plenty of it out there. Do your own housekeeping, do you?"
"There's not a lot to do. I manage.:
"Do you cook?"
"Well, I'm no chef but I don't starve."
"Varied diet?"
"Oh yes," wondering where the inquisition was leading.
"Laundry?"
"I know how the washing machine works," I replied, smiling, fearing he might want to schedule a kit inspection.
"Ironing, though. Not many men your age are good at that." When I conceded as much, he went on, "Guessed as much. And that's where we come in. We've a good idea, Brenda and I, where the problems are and what the answers are. Sharing, for instance."
"Sharing?"