English Pub Landlady Ep 12

At last I had a plan for Imogen's party that I was reasonably happy fitted all of her criteria. I felt worn out. If Glenda asks me to plan her wedding I'm going to refuse.

The barn was adorned with red and white striped sailcloth to make it look like the inside of a huge marquee. The Hoss was covered in a bright blue satin cover.

Mucky Malcolm had fixed up two massive TV screens on either of the barn. Beneath each of them was a screened off area. Malcolm was just doing a final check on the sound levels.

The caterers were laying out food on a long table. Another table was straining under the weight of the drink selection.

As the guests arrived two young ladies handed them champagne or orange juice.

Only Jem had the orange juice actually. He arrived with Glenda and Craig.

Shortly afterwards the Vicar turned up. He was soon followed by Helen and Gerald.

I was pleased to see Claud and Jane. Jane was wearing a very pretty party dress and Claud sported a rather snazzy tuxedo.

Everyone had dressed up for the occasion. I was a bit sorry that I would be asking them to undress soon.

Harry and Ted had been here for sometime and kept getting into mischief by stealing food as they helped carry the trays from the caterer's van. I had to have a word.

Rita and Brian arrived, she was on top form. Great dress, great make-up. She had really blossomed since she became the village bike (anyone can ride it). Her confidence had rocketed. She scanned the room to see if there were any men who hadn't fucked her yet. She was like a stamp collector. I could see her face light up when she spotted Malcolm but it was obvious when she suddenly remembered last summer's Church Picnic. I thought, "I'm glad that all the caterers are women."

Brian nooded to all the men and tried to guess what they were thinking. He looked pleased.

Imogen was escorted into the barn by Geoffrey. She looked radiant and grinned broadly when she saw the adornments to the barn. They were accompanied by Clive and Russell, who had both been boyfriends of Imogen's when she was at Oxford University. Geoffrey had managed to contact them and thought that it would be fun for them all to reminisce. Clive worked in a museum in London and Russell was curator of one in Philadelphia. I could see Rita's eyes light up.

When Geoffrey first suggested that they should be invited, I had strong reservations given the things I had planned. He just laughed and said it wasn't a problem. Imogen had always been very straight-laced before she shared a house with them. They soon started sharing her. All three of them were studying 17th century morality. Their big thing was historical re-enactment. Once, the boys acted as whorehouse proprietors. Imogen had to not wash for two weeks beforehand and then take on all comers at a penny a go. It was all very authentic. Geoffrey was on the same course.

Only after she got the job at the museum, he said, she reverted to being all starchy.

I thought, "Good, my little production will be just like old times for them."

The party was going really well. Malcolm had a playlist of pop videos playing on the big screens. It was mostly modern stuff from the 1980s which everyone appeared to like. The girls were dancing together but they kept trying to get the men on the dance floor but they would have none of it. That was until that song about Mandy came on. I had asked Malcolm to include it. Then the boys overcame their shyness. Slow dancing was more their thing. There was a fair bit of bum groping and partner swapping. Jen even danced with his mother but he behaved himself, mostly.

Everybody was drinking freely. And then the caterers announced that the buffet was ready. There was general agreement that the food was excellent. I playfully punched anyone who suggested that it was because I hadn't cooked it. I had politely requested that caterers went as soon as the people started eating.

Then there was more dancing. Some of the men joined now. It was just like a normal Birthday Party.

Eventually, I stood in front of the Hoss as the music faded.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," I announced, "you all look excellent in your finery but I would now ask you to adorn your costumes for tonight's entertainment.

"Gentlemen to my left and Ladies to my right."

They didn't need asking twice.

Behind the Ladies screen there were five dressing tables. Each had a mirror that was surrounded by light bulbs in true theatrical style. There was also a long rail filled with female circus clothing. Dancing girls, trapeze artists, tightrope walkers etc. Each one was lavishly adorned with sequins and feathers. They all had matching headdresses.

"Please select the costume of your choice. And ladies, kindly help each other to dress," I said.

"Not you Imogen, I have a special ensemble for you over here," I said pointing to a further screened area.

In it were two more dressing tables although at that point I didn't know why. I had most of my costume on under my dress and Imogen would hardly be wearing anything at all.

"Close your eyes," I said as I slipped off the dress.

"Why, you getting shy in your old age?" she answered.

"Just do it, you saucy mare.

I had on a black silk corset and black stockings. I slipped on a bright red tailcoat.

"Now you can help me with my boots."

"Wow," Imogen said as she opened her eyes, "where's my costume?"

"Just wait, there's not much of it.

I stood up and got my balance. Thigh boots and stilettos take a little getting used to.

"Right you, naked!" I commanded.

She was half way there already.

"Turn around."

When she had her back to me I slipped the bridle over her head. It was like a horse's but had been adapted for a woman. Some of the ones you could get on line were really extreme but this one didn't have a mouth bit. It was simply held on the head with a chin strap. It did have ears and it had a mane of hair hanging down the neck.

There were a lot of feathers on the top and reins connected to each side.

I went round to the front and fastened the chin strap. It rather suited her.

"How did you know that I had a fantasy of being a pony when I was little?" she giggled.

"Just a guess," I replied.

I placed a leather corset around her waist and tightened it. The back looked a little like a saddle and had more feathers sticking out of it. The harness effect was only added to by the very strappy stiletto healed saddles that I slipped on her feet.

"Now bend over," I ordered.

She flopped straight down. I don't know if she knew what was coming but she just breathed in gently as I pushed a butt plug into her bum hole. This had a long tail of horse's hair attached to it.

"That's nice," she sighed.

"Now stay in here until I call you," I said softly.

She was already practising her prancing up and down and swishing her tail from side to side.

I had heard a lot of laughing and giggling from the main dressing area. When I went in I could see they had all gone for the more risqué costumes. Not one of them had their nipples fully covered. Glenda's outfit consisted of a scarlet corset that only ended under her boob. She had bright blue stockings and shoes as well as a scarlet tutu. It was topped off by a large blue feathered headdress. The whole thing showed her more than ample tits to their full advantage. Somehow, since I last saw them both the nipples and areolas had grown in size.

"What happened there?", I asked.

"I'll tell you in a bit," she whispered.

Rita had gone for a similar thing, completely in a tasteful pink. Her nipples were just covered with her dark brown areolas peeking out. A bit precarious but I guessed it was how she planned it.

Helen's costume was a black and white affair. No attempt was made to cover the nipples which rested gently on the corset.

Jane was stunning in all white. The addition of fairy wings was made clear when she said that was a trapeze artist.

Claud didn't feel entirely comfortable in her gold corset but there was no denying that she was a woman.

Rita observed, "I'm not complaining but we couldn't find any options in the knicker department."

I said, "There is a very good reason for that.

Stepping into the middle, I lifted my arms out sideways.

"Claud and Jane, if you wouldn't mind?"

Claud pulled the cloth from a table to reveal a selection of strap on dildoes of various shapes and sizes. There were gasps and then laughter from Rita, Glenda and Helen.

Claud selected quite a large black one. I spread my legs slightly and stepped into the harness as she slipped the smaller of the double penises into my snatch.

Claud and Jane had suggested that this was the absolute best type as it made the pleasure two sided. Claud tightened the harness. I swang my new penis from side to side. Instantly, I understood where they were coming. Even that small amount of movement was juicing up my fanny.

The girls were in stitches. Helen said, "I've always wanted one of those."

I wasn't sure if she meant a strap-on or a penis.

Glenda had hers fitted next. Bright red to go with her costume. Once she had tried it out by swinging and thrusting it, I pulled her to one side.

"Spill the beans," I whispered.

"Well you know Craig took me to Weymouth on my birthday. Afterwards, we went to see a college friend of his, Archie, who has a fully automated dairy farm. The cows just walk in and the machinery does everything.

"While we were watching it I told them that I'd love to have a go in the machine. Archie told me that it just wouldn't work, my udders were in the wrong place. Craig said that Archie had better fuck me as his equipment had got me all excited.

"Afterwards, Archie declared that I was so good that he fetched his dairyman and his farm manager to shag me too," she said quietly.

I found it a bit difficult to concentrate on what Glenda was telling because she kept tapping the top of my penis. Everytime it bobbed up and down so the inside one did the same.

"Sounds like you had a good time," I said.

"After that, Craig said we should visit a husband and wife who have a sheep farm.

He'd known the guy for ages. Evidently, the wife was really into sheepdog trialling and he wanted us to see her perform. It was quite exciting to watch.

"Then the shepherd fucked me and Craig shagged the shepherdess.

"When we got home Craig remembered that he had a really old cow milker in our barn. He has managed to get it working again. The old machine has big cups that suck in your areolas as well as your nipples. I've been on it for half an hour every day this week. Do you like them?"

Before I could answer, Jane said, "All ready."

I turned around to the sight of the five of them swinging their new dicks around. Each of them had one to match their costumes. The girls were all laughing hysterically.

I went partially behind the other screen and got hold of Imogen's reigns. As I led her out I said, "Ladies, I present Imogen the Circus Pony."

They all squealed with delight. I think that they all must have had a pony fantasy when they were young. Well, maybe not Claud.

Imogen pranced about and the girls all tried to pat her.

I went into the barn where most of the clowns were now sitting around at the tables and chairs. The few stragglers walked clumsily from their dressing area. The over size shoes didn't help. When they saw me they all cheered. As I walked to the front of the Hoss the sight of my swinging dick made them cheer more.

I picked up my top hat and whip from under the Hoss' cover. As I pointed the whip at them I said, "Best behaviour now boys."

This got another cheer.

I announced, "Gentlemen, I give you the Circus Girls."

The big TV screen lit up with a succession of flashing images of circus performances.

Traditional circus music pumped out of the speakers. Coloured spotlights lit up the barn.

The girls filed into view one at a time and proceeded to march around in a big circle, their penises swinging back and forth as they walked. The cheering went wild.

They formed a line in front of the Hoss.

I announced with a flourish, "And now for everyone's pleasure and entertainment, I present Imogen the Circus Pony.

Imogen cantered around the barn flicking her mane and tail. She was making some rather silly whinnying noises but she was excited so it could be forgiven.

It was quite a surreal site. A whole bunch of circus clowns baying and cheering as a forty year old woman pretended to be a horse. The only thing that made it appear sane was the variously dressed circus girls and a very attractive female ringmaster with artificial penises who were encouraging them.

The images of brief flashes of circus acts, lion tamers, jugglers, performing elephants, high wires walkers, clapping seals, clowns, dancing horses, trapeze flyers etc, were now interspersed with almost subliminal sections of circus based pornography.

Malcolm had produced a masterpiece which I think he was controlling from a remote in his left hand. If indeed the clown that I thought was Malcolm was Malcolm. I hate to appear clownist but all clowns look the same to me, especially with those red noses.

Someone once told me that clowns are considered scary by some people but I just find them slightly ridiculous. The costumes really suited the boys.

"This mare appears a little too frisky," I shouted, "what do you think we should do with her?"

Just as a subtle hint, I whipped the satin cloth from the Hoss.

"Strap her to the Hoss," was the reply from several of the clowns and all of the cabaret girls.

"Is the correct answer!" I called.

Imogen needed no encouragement. She stopped her dressage routine and trotted over to the Hoss.

I rearranged her headdress, mane and tail and then fastened all of the straps.

Lifting her tail to show everyone her fanny, I said, "She looks up for it."

"Whip her ass," someone shouted. I think that it may have been Geoffrey.

I pointed my whip at them and shouted, "Now, none of that, boys. We only dish out pleasure here."

I made my way around to the goat milker and attached two of the cups to Imogen's nipples. I started the initial suction. Then I passed a third cup, with a hose that Ted had added an extension pipe to, between the legs of the Hoss. I deftly parted

Imogen's fanny lips and attached the cup to her clitoris. That idea had come to me when I recalled what Gloria had done to mine.

As I turned to address the audience the main pump action started; left, right, clit, left, right, clit. I never knew that Imogen was religious but she started to have a conversation with God.

"Ladies and Clowns. We all hate rules but there are rules. My rules," I shouted above the sound of Imogen's prayers.

"Because this birthday party is for this Circus Pony, only the pony may be fucked.

The clowns cheered and some of the circus girls groaned. Rita looked particularly hard done by. She had her sights set on Russell and Clive.

"Nevertheless, in between fucks, the clowns may interfere with the circus girls and the girls may interfere with the clowns. Of course, the circus girls are free to interfere with circus girls and the circus girls can fuck the pony. I see no reason for the clowns to interfere with the clowns," I explained.

"Just a word of warning, because of their newly acquired appendages, the circus girls have limited access. So proceed with caution in that area."

As the cheering died down I could hear Imogen talking to Jesus.

I thought, "I better check that before she starts on the Anglo-Saxon gods."

Releasing the pressure I slipped the cup from her clitoris. I had a quick look. It had enlarged to three times its previous size. I stroked it gently and Imogen resumed her conversation with God.

"Is it painful?" I asked.

"No, but I need fucking straight away," she said.

I faced the crowd, "I need a volunteer from the audience."

Jem was halfway across the floor before he said, "I'll do it."

"Step right this way, young man!" I said.

I had designed all of the clowns brightly coloured striped trousers with open flies and no buttons. Jem's erection was already poking through the gap.

His haste and the big shoes only added to the comedy effect. He nearly tripped but regained his balance. Laughter erupted. I'm sure they thought that it was rehearsed.

He was straight up to and into Imogen. Then he stepped back and said, "Sorry lovely lady. Is it OK with you if I give you a portion?"

I was so proud of him. That was real progress.

She shouted, "Oh fuck me yes! Just get on with it you stupid prat." Undoing all of my good work.

Jem resumed servicing her. The increased size of Imogen's clitoris had increased her appreciation of his banging. She began to moan right from the start.

I stepped aside to stand next to Helen, Glenda and Rita.

Glenda, ever the proud mother, said, "Not many Mums get to watch their son have their first fuck."

Helen looked at the ceiling, I looked at Rita and she did something that I'd only ever read about women doing in old fashioned books; she blushed.

Everyone clapped and cheered as Jem commenced the celebration of Imogen's fanny. The lad did a good job. When he finished he even turned to take a bow to a round of applause. But I had the feeling that they would have clapped anything.

"Now mingle," I said loudly.

The cabaret girls all went towards the clowns with the exception of Helen. She was very keen to try out her new novelty item. Standing behind Imogen she slipped the dildo into her spunky snatch. The lack of warning soon had her moaning with pleasure once again.

It wasn't until the girls had reached the seating area that anyone else realised what was happening. Then everyone started shouting encouragement at Helen. Claud said, "Fuck me, who knew? I may join the W.I."

I'm not sure who came first, Helen or Imogen, but they were both making a lot of noise. It started a bout of experimentation. The clowns were trying to tell how much playing with the girl's dildoes affected their fannys.

Imogen was making noises like she had been abandoned but I was sure her time would come, the night was young.

There was a certain amount of interest in Glenda's nipples.

Things had become too realistic for Malcolm; he wasn't faced with an actual pussy very often, or it may just have been the novelty. Either way, he felt the need to fuck Imogen now. He stepped up manfully. The novelty got the better of him and he came quite quickly.

Glenda had Russell across her lap and was breastfeeding him. She had her hand in his trousers and was stroking his bollocks.

Craig sat on the edge of a table which made it much easier for Rita to suck his knob.

Her bending stance gave Claud perfect access. She slipped her hand between Rita's legs and was pumping her dldo up and down like an old fashioned water pump. This rather encouraged her to bob her head even faster.

Imogen was pleased when Russell approached the Hoss. Glenda had obviously raised him to fever pitch. She may not have been entirely aware who it was shafting her as they didn't really discuss the good old days. Maybe later, I thought.

Helen was on all fours with the vicar sucking one tit and Harry the other. Ted had his thumb in her bum and while trying to introduce as many fingers as he could alongside her internal dildo. My view was obscured so unfortunately I couldn't tell you the result. But at least they were entering into the spirit of the occasion.

Glenda had Harry across her lap and was breastfeeding him. She had her hand in his trousers and was stroking his balls.

I was proud of Jem, he had rather cleverly slipped Jane's dildo from her fanny and was licking her minge. She looked at me, shrugged her shoulders, and mouthed, "Oh well, it is a party."

Rita had sensed that it may be a good time for Craig to fuck Imogen. So that's what he did.