All characters engaged in sex acts are eighteen or older.
I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, twisting this way and that. At one angle I looked too flat, in another too skinny, in another my butt stuck out weird. I can admit now that all these barbs were in Mike's voice. Mike and I had met at school back in February. I had grown my hair out a bit too because of his preferences. It had been a short pixie cut back in December when I was still at home. By now it was a layered bob, and I planned to grow it out more.
But the girl that looked back at me in the mirror was flat, skinny, and uninteresting. I took my top off. Even with the pushup bra I wore they looked tiny. I thought of my friend Alex, who had some of the biggest tits I had ever seen. She was so round and curvy. I had stopped wearing a bra after the cabin trip with Dom. He had loved my tits, or so he said. "Let the natural curve of your boob show. They're so beautiful. Minnie!" The old horndog just wanted to look at my tits.
The girl in the mirror looked like a little boy. Tears blurred my vision. I wanted to try one more thing. I took my bra off. I scrutinized the reflection of my tits. They were so small. I turned to the side and there was barely a curve to them. They were high up and slightly pointed, but to me that made them look even smaller. At least my nipples looked nice. They were pink and pointed just like my tits. I could cover the areolas with just two fingers, and the nipples themselves stuck out, especially when it got cold. When I didn't wear a bra they were very visible. Sometimes it made me feel embarrassed, sometimes, though it made me feel sexy.
I put my hands under my boobs and squeezed them up and together. It was a small comfort that I could make a little cleavage. Mike had wanted me to press my tits around his dick one time and I couldn't do it. He kept yelling at me to pull them out and push them together. It was impossible with what I had. I was crying when he came on my chest.
It had been so different with Dom. He loved my body, every curve of it. Even the parts that weren't curved enough. He had played with my boobs and gotten lost in them. I could scarcely believe that he was that into them. In the cabin I had "forgotten" to latch the bathroom door when I took a shower and soon there he was, peeking like a pervert. I even looked right at him, but in the dark he thought I had missed him.
I knew he wanted me. It had been so weird when we first got there. He hadn't changed much. The few times I saw him as a girl he was usually drunk. He and dad were friends from college and despite what he put us through, dad stood by him. The image of him lying on the couch, belching and slurring was etched in my head. He was a big clumsy, indifferent giant to me as a child. It had frightened me. Once I got older I kind of felt sorry for him. The memory was with me when we first came to the cabin late last year.
But there was something in him. Intelligence, sensitivity, experience. We were alone and when he saw me for who I was he accepted it. "All women are beautiful," he had said, "but you're beautiful inside and out." It sounds so awful out of context, but Dom had a way with words and when he said it my heart melted.
Dom was my first. I know it's strange for my first time to be with a guy nearly twice my age and a close friend of my dad's, but can you really choose who you fall in love with? He was so gentle, so real. We had done it in that old snowy cabin, the one my great grandpa had built when he was a young man. Dom had been so reluctant, not wanting to hurt me or my dad. But in the end we both gave in and it was the most intense, erotic experience I have ever had. Mike never even came close.
But no matter how much I twisted, or pushed them together or squeezed them, I looked flat as a pancake. I put my top back on, shedding angry tears at myself and at Mike's voice in my head.
--
Dom
: So you made it ok? How was your flight?
Minnie
: Jeez you and dad
Dom
: What do you mean?
Minnie
: Dad asked me the same thing just a few seconds ago. Maybe it's just an old guy thing
Dom
: Ok now I'm offended
Minnie
: Lol, Dom. Yes, it's great to hear from you. I am fine, thank you.
Dom
: If anyone can be sarcastic through a text...
Minnie
: You know how I feel about flying. But it wasn't too bad.
Minnie
: The dorm looks the same as always. Kara's not home yet.
Dom
: I want you to know I'm thinking about you, Mininie.
Minnie
: Dom...
Dom
: When I said I love you I meant it. You know you're just like me.
Minnie
: But you know it's impossible.
Dom
: Not impossible. There's just consequences. Minnie, you don't choose who you love. We needed each other in the cabin. We need each other now too. Yes, it would be a scandal and your dad would freak. But love is worth it.
Minnie
: Here you go again with the purple prose
Dom
: Don't blow me off. Think about it. You're almost done with school. You're a woman and can make your own decisions. I love you. And I know you love me.
Minnie
: Dom I do love you. OMG I'm crying right now.
Dom
: Minnie, treat your heart right, listen to it. Nothing is more important and powerful than love. Nothing.
--
When you're waiting for someone to pick the phone up, seconds can feel like hours. Even more so when you don't know if you want them to pick up or not. I can't imagine what people Dom's age went through when calling was the only way. No caller ID either, so you would blindly pick up the phone. How did anyone talk to anyone back then?
But he did pick up, "Hello, Minnie. I thought you would be home any day now. I..." His voice cracked and he paused. Shit, I didn't expect it to get this awkward this quickly. I would die if he started crying.
"I know Dom! I can explain. I wanted to text you so bad. I really missed you too," I felt a lump in my throat. Now I was the awkward one.
"You can't just turn your back on someone like that. Especially someone you care about this much." Not love? Maybe this had done more damage than I thought.
"I do lo... care about you a lot!" It was quiet on his end. "I can explain."
"I hope so," he whispered.
"It just has to be face to face. It's not right like this."
I heard a gasp, "Want to have lunch?"
"No, not like that either. I have an idea."
--
Dom had agreed to my idea. Next week we would head out to the mountains, just the two of us. It was not that far from the cabin, and we would stay three days. That meant we would have plenty of time to sort out our feelings and gripes. I could close the door on this mess we had made. Or at least I hoped I could. I could tell Dom wanted me bad, though he tried to hide it. I bet he thought he was gonna fuck me. That's fine, if it would bring him out. But I had to move on.
I was home from my graduate program in Wisconsin, staying in the room I had lived in in high school. Nothing had really changed. The posters were a little more faded, the closet was still full of my old clothes. Only some of them fit me, but most were from my edgy phase in high school and they made me cringe. And next to my bed, there was a picture of me in said edgy phase. I was surrounded by my friends, including Alex. I couldn't help but think of her tits and feel jealous. They were big even back then, and comically stretched the Paramore shirt she had on. I had been completely flat back then, and wore huge shirts so no one would notice. People mistook me for a boy all the time. I acted like I didn't give a fuck, but it made me feel horrid every time. I had dyed my hair black with fiery red at the tips and had it long over my face and short in back. Too much black eye shadow, a studded belt and bracelet. I wore a cavernous My Chemical Romance t-shirt and jeans so baggy they looked like a skirt. To top it off, I had a fake nose piercing. I was making the devil horns sign under my face and I stuck my tongue between the fingers. I cringed hard. I pondered getting an actual nose piercing when I got to college, but I had moved on by then.
It seemed so obvious looking at the picture. I was covering up the timid virgin I was. I couldn't talk to anyone, especially boys. In that picture I was also blind as a bat without my thick glasses. My first year in college came with acceptance of who I was. Or so I had thought. I still had a long way to go.
I heard the front door open. Dad was home. I took a few deep breaths and got the story straight in my head. I came out to meet him. "Hey, Minnie Bug," he said, wearing the sweet smile he always did when he saw me. I know I'm a little old for a name like that, but I still love when he said it. Besides, I felt like my wounded heart needed all the affection it could get.
"Hey Dad. Was work ok? Can I get you a snack?"
"Work was fine. Is it my birthday already? What happened to the girl whining about changing the litter box last night?"
I rolled my eyes, "Jeez dad, I'm twenty-three."
"I know you don't want to hear it, but you'll always be my girl." Holy shit. My heart broke and I decided not to tell him yet. Even seeing Dom on this trip seemed wrong. But it was something I had to do. "And since you're offering, I would love some coffee and a bagel." I went into the kitchen while dad took his shoes off in the living room.
As I was making his snack, my mind went back and forth between telling and not telling him about the trip. Well, strictly speaking I
wasn't
going to tell him about the trip. My story was that Alex and I were going camping. I took a deep breath as I came into the living room and handed Dad his snack. "Thanks, Minnie Bug."
I wrung my hands, "Dad, I wanted to tell you that Alex and I are going camping next week on Thursday. We'll be gone for three days."
He looked up, "I didn't know Alex liked camping. She doesn't strike me as the type. And I'll be honest, I don't like the idea of you there out on your own."
"I'm not on my own, Dad. Alex will be there. And it's one of those campgrounds where people are everywhere. We can call if there's a problem." This wasn't at all true. This place was in the middle of nowhere.
"So
you