Clitty Clitty Bang Bang

With apologies to Ian Fleming.

*

I flicked a speck of dust from the gleaming bonnet of my pride and joy, a British racing green blower Bentley just like the one that James Bond drove in the early Bond novels and the same car that starred in Fleming's other book Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang.

It stood amongst over a thousand other gleaming and beautifully restored Vintage and Veteran vehicles that were about to take part in the Bi-annual Bay to Birdwood rally from West Beach to the National Motor Museum at Birdwood in the Adelaide hills. This year I was driving on my own, my wife of twenty years having decided that she was not prepared to compete with the Bentley for my affections, leaving me for a stuffy accountant who worked for her family company.

The fall out from this development was that I would have to sell my car as part of the property settlement and I think that I will probably miss the 'old girl' more than the human old girl, at least it is cheaper to run.

While we were waiting for the show to get under way many of the drivers wandered around looking at the other cars and asking the owners about their history. I had just finished posing for a series of photographs with the friends of some spectator when I was confronted by an apparition in tweed. She was tall, slender, her lines were classically perfect, her hair was shoulder length and blonde, her complexion fair and makeup understated, but who was noticing. Her voice was like honey, low, soft and smooth. At that very moment I made the decision to revoke my membership of Misogynists Anonymous.

"My, what a beautiful car."

"Thank you, so you like old English sports cars."

"I love them, unfortunately mine is not old enough to run in this rally, but next year it will be in the Classic."

My heart jumped into overdrive. "Are you going to Birdwood?" Well I can live in hope can't I?

"I really only came down to get a close up look at the cars, why, are you inviting me to join you?" I couldn't believe it but my mouth beat my mind to the punch by a good half second.

"Would you like to join me?"

"Let me get my bag from my car, I'll only be a minute."

She wasn't much more than that, "You realise that you'll have to bring me back here to get my car, don't you?"

"Of course." She climbed in and sat in the passenger seat admiring the array of instruments and switches on the dash panel.

The Marshall's voice came over the public address system advising the drivers to start their engines in preparation for the journey. The Bentley roared into life and the engine quickly settled into a soft rumble. "By the way I'm Felicity."

"I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself, I'm Bill."

The car beside us moved into line and we followed, the first part of the journey through Adelaide was slow because of the need to obey speed limits and it wasn't a closed road, but once we reached the hills the road had been closed and we could go as fast as we liked, within reason. Crowds lined the road as we moved slowly through the city and out along North East Road and by the time we had reached the outskirts both of us had perfected the 'royal wave; as used by the Queen, it somehow seemed appropriate given the car we were in.

"Do you have a scarf that you can put on, it's going to get a tad breezy from here on in."

Felicity took a scarf from her bag and tied it around her head, she looked even more beautiful. The Bentley leapt forward as I accelerated up the winding hill out of Tea Tree Gully passing several other cars, the Bentley, Felicity and I all enjoying the freedom of the closed road and being able to use the whole road to sweep around the corners.

"You enjoy this don't you?"

"I have to make the most of this trip, this will be the last time."

"Oh, why so?"

"I'll tell you about it over lunch, just let us enjoy the moment while we can."

"Sure, can I enjoy it too?"

"Only if you enjoy sitting in an old car being pushed to its limit."

"There's not much better." We sat in silence for the rest of the journey because, with the increased speed and the need to run up and down the gears to negotiate the windy and hilly road, the noise level increased dramatically.

Having parked the car in the concourse section of the parking area I jumped out and walked quickly around to the passenger's side, opening the door I handed Felicity out. "We have arrived safe and sound madam."

"Why thank you William, I did so much enjoy the journey."

"Would madam like to stand there for a moment while I set up the table for luncheon?"

"And what is on the menu today?" She was going along with my silliness.

"We have truffled lark's tongues, followed by pate de foie gras and pressed tongue sandwiches washed down with an excellent glass of Shiraz, then we have freshly brewed coffee to your taste with an assortment of seasonal fruits and cheeses."

I lifted the picnic hamper and the table and chairs from the back of the car and set them up. Felicity opened the hamper and peeked inside, "I thought you were joking about the food, but you weren't, you really know how to spoil a girl. You must have been expecting to pick someone up, you have more than enough for two people."

"I wasn't expecting to meet anyone, but I was hoping. I must say I'm not disappointed with the outcome. The hotel put together a picnic hamper for me, I hope it's okay." It was, it wasn't the stuff that I said it would be but it was a very pleasant meal if cold meats and salad, a good wine and cheesecake for dessert. While we ate I filled Felicity in on my predicament, "My wife has left me and is hell bent on taking me to the cleaners. I don't think it is her idea so much but her new partner who just happens to be an accountant whose primary goal in life is the acquisition of money by whatever means available to him. I tried to warn her about the money grubbing bastard but she wasn't about to listen to me. So here I am, trying hard to enjoy the last outing with the 'old dear' before we have to part company so that I can afford her outrageous claims against the joint property."

"What does your lawyer have to say about this?"

"Not a lot, he says that they have done their preparation work well and 'lost' her money in various ways so that it appears that she is living on a zero income along with the fact that her family company, of which she is the Managing Director is on the verge of bankruptcy when a year ago it was a highly profitably business, while my company is struggling because the money that I need now to develop new products for the future has been invested in her company. Quite literally, I'm being right royally shafted. Now I have to hope for a decent bid at the next Shannon's Auction for my Bentley. End of my story, what about you?"

"I have a slightly happier story, I come from a well to do family, sort of local aristocracy, who went to the right schools, studied the right degree at University, met and married the right man, had the right number of perfect children who have both done the same thing and are happily building a perfect life for themselves. The only glitch in all of this is that my husband unfortunately died in a car accident leaving me with an obscene amount of money, a perfectly good company that is able to run itself with good management so that all I have to do is front up to the monthly board meetings."

"Sounds idyllic."

"But it isn't, I'm board witless, I have a great deal of trouble finding something to do with my life, I've grown sick of the usual 'A' list society functions, being seen with the right people at the opening night of the Opera which I find totally boring, especially the sycophants struggling to have their picture taken with the stars at the after party."

"So what do you do to while away the time?"

"I'm interested in art and photography, I'm writing a book on one of my favourite places and its history and I get out to events like this whenever I can."

Lunch passed much too quickly and the judging for the Concourse d'Elegance took place with the Bentley winning third place. I was not disappointed with the result because the two cars ahead of me were absolutely magnificent.

At around four in the afternoon Felicity and I headed back to West Beach to fetch her car. Because we were travelling slower, the road was once more open to normal traffic, we were able to chat on the way back from Birdwood. "What are your plans for this evening?" I asked hopefully.

"I'm having dinner with a very nice man."

"Oh." I couldn't hide my disappointment although I understood that she would have to have had a prior engagement.

"It's with you silly, that is if you're interested." I was, very, my heart was beating at an alarming rate.

"Where are we going and can we get in at this late stage?"

"You leave everything to me, all you have to do is drop me off at my car, go back to your hotel and preen yourself for this evening and I'll pick you up at 8.00."

We arrived back at her car and I was impressed, I had thought that it would probably be some safe feminine car, a BMW or similar but there, sitting at the kerb was a gleaming silver Daimler SP250 Dart. "Wow! Where did you find that?"

"My father bought it new in '61 and I inherited it when he got too old to appreciate how much fun it is to drive."

We got out of the Bentley and I walked around her car stopping beside her at the driver's door. I took her in my arms, she didn't resist even when I drew her to me so I kissed her. Her arm snaked around my neck and pulled my head towards her and I felt her tongue probing my lips so I opened them, her lower body was leaning into mine and I was sure that she was able to feel my cock trying to get out of its cloth prison. "I seem to have an effect on you." She hadn't taken her mouth fully away from mine so that the vibration of her words came through my lips, she resumed her kiss.

"Why wouldn't you, I find you incredibly attractive." I eventually broke the kiss, "I think we should save this until later or we'll get run in for engaging in lewd and lascivious behaviour in public."

"Okay, but only if you are ready to honour your promise." She slid lightly into the Daimler and the small V8 throbbed into life. "See you at 8.00." and with that she was gone.

I drove back to my hotel and left the Bentley for the valet parkers to take it down to the car park, telling that I wouldn't be needing it again that evening, and went up to my suite to freshen up.

I had just adjusted my tie and put on my jacket at ten to eight when the Receptionist rang up to inform me that Felicity was waiting for me in the lobby. I saw her as I left the elevator, she was even more gorgeous now. I stopped and took in the vision before me. She had a quizzical look on her face so I walked towards her. We met each other half way and embraced. "Hi, I can't believe that you are even more beautiful than before."

"Thank you, you don't scrub up too bad yourself." We walked out to where her car was parked, she tossed the keys to me, "Why don't you drive."

I tossed them back to her, "You know where we're going and I want to see if you can drive as good as you look. She could, and it wasn't long before we were seated at a window table at the Windy Point restaurant overlooking the city and its lights, eating a sumptuous meal.

I drove back into the city with her head on my shoulder and when we got back to my hotel I asked her if she would come up for a coffee for a night cap.

I opened the door to my suite and ushered her in. I only just had time to place the 'do not disturb' sign on the door and lock it when she threw herself into my arms, her lips finding mine in a kiss even more passionate that our earlier effort. My hands reached behind her and found her arse cheeks, pulling her into me, not that she needed much pulling, and I ground my hips against hers.

I felt her hand pushing its way between us and move to my zipper. I moved away from her just enough for her to draw it down and slip her hand inside, grasping my cock. "You are excited aren't you."

"It has been a while you know." My hand was doing its own bit of exploring having found its way onto her breast, I rubbed her nipple under my hand feeling it rise into a firm peak, and my other hand moved to the zipper of her dress and started to draw it down. She stepped out of her dress and it dropped onto the floor between us, it was then that my observations were confirmed, she wasn't wearing a bra. I bent down and took one of her nipples in my mouth and began sucking it, moving my tongue around it in circles.

"Oh my God that is wonderful," she sighed as she slipped her hand under the waist band of my underpants, "and so is this." She was moving her hand up and down my shaft, I was in heaven.

I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom and lay her gently on the bed. I slipped my hands under the waist band of her panties and pulled them from her, her legs were apart exposing her wet pussy to my gaze. I positioned myself between her legs and my tongue probed her pussy lips, sucking in her juices. I licked my way to her clitoris and sucked on it while her hips moved under me.

"Oh my God, this feels so good, Oh God, please faster, faster, faster." I felt her pussy tense and her whole lower body began to shudder. It seemed to go on forever until she eventually stopped. She had her fingers in my hair and drew my head up to hers, kissing me deeply, tasting herself on my lips. "Now it's my turn." She rolled me onto my back and straddled my face and moved down to suck my hard cock.

Her mouth was incredible, it moved up and down as she applied pressure with her lips. Her rhythm increased and so did mine, I could feel her rising to another orgasm, I could feel myself rising to an orgasm. "I'm going to cum soon, do you want it in your mouth or somewhere else?"

"Be quiet!" With a shuddering explosion she came, I came, she swallowed like mad, I swallowed her juices, we removed our mouths from each other and kissed, swapping juices with each other, me tasting a mixture of hers and mine and liking what I was tasting and she tasting herself again.

We lay in each others arms until we regained our breath. "Are you expected home tonight?"

"I live on my own, why do you ask?"

"Because I don't want you to leave me tonight, in fact I don't want you to leave me, period."

"Getting a little ahead of ourselves aren't we?"

"Just striking while the iron's hot, that's all.

"Is that what you call him? I think you'd better strike again while I think about this."

I struck, moving over her I position my iron at the entrance of her pussy and pushed it gently in until the full length was inside her, her intake of breath was all the signal I needed, I increased the tempo, pushing hard against her pelvic bone at the top of my stoke putting pressure on her clit and then slowly withdrawing my cock until only the head remained inside her dripping wet pussy before plunging my full length inside her.

Felicity had three intense orgasms and it was in the middle of her third that I shot my load into her. We lay there for several minutes while the iron turned into a soft mass of flesh inside her. "You are good, do you know that?' She looked at me with half closed eyes, luxuriating in the sex that we had just had.

"I was just about to say the same thing, we are," I said to her kissing her lips, her neck, her breasts, "absolutely just right for each other, I want this to go on forever."

"If we keep it up at this rate we'll only last a year."

"A year is better than nothing."

"My sentiments entirely, in fact I have a proposition for you."

"I'm all ears."

"Thankfully that isn't true. But what I have in mind is this; I'll come back to Sydney with you as your lawyer and we are going to tear shreds from your wife and her sleazy accountant so that you won't have to sell up to pay for your divorce settlement, after that I fully intend to marry you and we can spend the rest of our lives fucking each other into an early grave, I do not want to die old gracefully, I'd much rather die young disgracefully."

"Sounds perfect to me."

And it is.