Thanks to my dear friend blackrandl1958 for once again giving me the basis for this story, her advice, input and, of course, her editing. She is truly my sweet inspiration. Thanks to Crkcppr for beta reading.
*****
Carrie Benton looked at herself in the mirror. She had really never been totally satisfied with her body. Getting out of the shower and noticing herself in the mirror wasn't something she did often. Her big Cane Corso, Gabe, looked up at her with a jaundiced eye. A long drool clung to his floppy jowls as he lifted his head. Carrie sighed and got the rag to clean his jowls. She had drool rags in every room of the house.
"You love me, don't you, baby?" she cooed to him. "That's right; you're Mama's big boy. You think Mama's pretty."
She turned back to the mirror. She wished she had bigger boobs. Even a bigger ass would be nice. It wasn't that hers wasn't cute; she was still firm and bouncy, she just realized she would always be little. At five three and less than a hundred pounds, she was still as cute as she had been at twenty. Fifty-five was her next birthday and she was proud that she could still wear any of her clothes that hadn't worn out since she was in high school. She could even still fit into her wedding dress. She'd tried it on last year when she thought she might marry Jeff. She knew she loved him. She had thought that he loved her. After Eric died, she hadn't dated for five years. Oh, she'd gone on the occasional date, but she hadn't wanted a relationship. Eric had been her first and last love, she had thought, then Jeff dropped out of the blue. He was the new insurance agent at the company where she kept hers, and when she came in to talk to Randall about her new car, he had been drinking a cup of coffee in Randall's office. Randall introduced them and as she signed her new policy, she had noticed him checking her out. She was a little embarrassed and hurried away.
He had called her the next week and invited her to dinner. Carrie was doubtful; she still felt deeply in love with her late husband, and was comfortable in her solitude.
"Thank you, Jeff," she said, "I appreciate the offer, but I really don't think I'd be very good company."
"Okay, I understand," said Jeff, "Maybe some other time?"
"Maybe," she said, not really thinking that she would change her mind.
Her high school friend, James Clark, stopped by for a visit, and Carrie told him about Jeff's invitation.
"Why didn't you say yes, Carrie?" James asked. "It's been five years since Eric died, he wouldn't want you to be lonely."
"But I'm not lonely," Carrie said, "Just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely."
"Okay, okay," James laughed, "I understand, but just give it some thought, if not Jeff maybe someone else. If I wasn't happily married to Emily, I'd be knocking on your door!"
Carrie laughed, "All right, James, you win, I'll think about it, but I'm not making any promises."
True to her word, Carrie did think about it, and the next time Jeff asked her out she said yes.
Jeff picked her up in a nice mid-level Toyota sedan and took her to Jimbo's, a family-style restaurant with a varied menu.
"I was asking Randall how such an attractive young woman was unattached," Jeff said, "and was surprised to hear that you were fifty-five; I was sure that you were much younger. Then he told me about you losing your husband, and I understood your reluctance to date. Do you want to talk about it?"
"There's not really much to tell," Carrie said, "We were your typical high school sweethearts. From the day we met at the start of our sophomore year, we knew we were meant to be together, and we never dated anyone else. Even when we had the silly spats that everyone has, it never got to the point of either of us dating anyone else.
"After we graduated from college, we got married and had all these big plans for our future, including many children, and five years later, we were thrilled to find that I was pregnant. We had a beautiful baby boy, David, but complications left me incapable of having any more children.
"We were disappointed, but we pulled together and came out stronger than ever, determined to be the best parents we could be.
"For the next twenty plus years we just loved on each other. David grew into a fine young man. He's married with children of his own, living in California. We weren't much for traveling, so we bought some land. We grew some wheat, and Eric let me raise sheep since I had loved them from the time I was a little girl.
"Around eight years ago, fate dealt us another losing hand: cancer. We fought it with everything we had, but I lost Eric five years ago, and have been on my own ever since."
Neither spoke for a moment, then Carrie gave a wry smile.
"Well, now that I've put a total damper on things," she said, "Why don't you tell me your story?"
"No," Jeff said, "Don't feel like that, I wanted to know about you, and frankly, that just makes me admire you all the more. Those are things that would destroy most people, but they seem to have only made you stronger."
"Thank you, Jeff, but you still owe me your tale."
"Well, it has nothing to compare with your drama," he said. "Lilly and I also married young, maybe too young. I'm ashamed to admit that we were both unfaithful, and were divorced before our tenth anniversary. I don't know if it's a good thing, but we had no children, and the divorce was about as amicable as possible under the circumstances.
"Since then, I've been pretty much a free agent. I've had several short to medium term relationships, the shortest about a year, none longer than five years.
"I've reached a point in my life where if I don't find the right woman soon, then I'm probably fated to be a lonely old man."
