Hooray for numbers, and more than just 69. Give me eleven other bitches in one room, mix in three bottles of wine, a couple of snorts of straight rye and I can put the U.S. Census Bureau to shame when it comes to collecting data. All it took was a little buzz, a little encouragement and the ladies would tell everything they knew. Give me a pad and pencil and the next thing you know I've got a scientific study of the good times that are our lives. Baby doll, pop the cork on another bottle, it's sex by the numbers.
Make no mistake, this is not how the evening was supposed to go. It was the monthly Ladies Book Club that sort of got hijacked. That's what happens when Ashley decides to saunter in twenty minutes late, blouse mis-buttoned and a sucker bite just barely showing. It was just natural Holly, our senior member who has no inhibitions whatsoever, would rag on the poor little thing. Only natural, I the Literotica scribe would run with it. I mean a girl could always leave. Leave or make it laundry night. By the time these bitches got done, it wasn't just airing out dirty laundry, there was nothing left in the hamper.
Actually a couple of the ladies didn't know I record laundry on line, at least not when this erotic jam fest began. They quickly learned, logging on Jen's computer and brining up the past for me and a few others. Yes, ladies, I am such a bitch. Indeed, my dear female consorts, I have done of that which I write. Most definitely this was all going to be fair game and all are so advised. I really expected a duck and cover, the room soon to empty. Jesus, the bitches passed the bottle around one more time and told me to get to it.
Having been appointed Recorder, I jotted down a few basic facts. Twelve women, age 30 to 67. Eight married, two divorced, two never involved for more than six months at a time. Of the married eight, four had been married twice, two three times and two of us still with Number One. With that the first question just seemed so obvious. How many of the ten who had said "I do," gave it up to the husband?
Gasps, shrieks and beet reds play so well, even if Holly required clarification. Indeed, we are talking hymen, ladies. Gave up between the legs to the guy we married. I was surprised, six out of ten. Definitely not on the wedding night, only Wendy did that, but husband got the grand prize most of the time. The rye was working well, I just had to know bed or backseat?
They went crazy on that one but at least all could be a part of the survey. Not surprised was I to find out ten of twelve between the sheets, eight of them in our bed, the other two in his. Not a single motel at all, despite what the films say. Even preacher's kid Ashley had given it up in a bed, that really surprised me. Of course Lisa doing it in a cabana on the Jersey shore for firsts got all kinds of hoots, almost as much as Jill across a library table. Real class, that guy but since we're talking guys and Holly had wanted that clarification, who gave hubby her first piece of ass?
What can I say, I'm honest, I write for Literotica when the mood hits me. Mine got it though he had to wait until he turned fifty. He still does but he's got to get me drunk to tolerate it. Sue, she enjoys it, Ashley too but she didn't count in the survey, not being married. Of all the rest, only Holly and Lisa said they'd even tried it and then it was only once. Most of them never will, good for them but I know they had to feel different about something else. Come on ladies, be honest. Who's husband got her first blowjob?
Talk about turning the tables, it was my turn to be the stunned one. Sue and Lisa never had? To anybody? Wow, I had to think on that one, the art of the blow something I thought every woman wanted to give to her true love. That was kind of a loaded statement there, me implying to the girls I gave them but not to husband. I guess I didn't need to feel bad, Holly and Jill the only two who actually lost the mouth cherry to the husband. Maybe I wasn't that great of an interviewer, missing an obvious question as we worked our way to getting toasted. I never would have even thought of it until Ashley let it slip and I had to backtrack. No other way to put it, my dear ladies, first pecker was between the legs, wasn't it?
The majority rules it was but only by the thinnest of margins, let me tell you. Jill, Wendy, Becky, Anne, Marsha, Betsey and me are traditional, I guess. For Sue it was through the back door but the rest, on the knees was first. I was stunned, not as open as I thought apparently, but Ashley did make a small point of correction, she wasn't on her knees, she actually crawled up on his bed and got it that way. That drove the ladies wild, the little animal. Might as well go with the flow, dear hearts, as we speak of animals. Back to first night, who got it more than once?
A perfect score, twelve out of twelve. Not one of us and I am totally serious, even if I needed another shot to digest all this. I honestly I thought I was unique, Denny busting me up and splitting but not so. Every single one, back door, knees, on our back, got one time and that was it, leaving us to wonder what we were doing wrong. Men are men, don't get us wrong, but somewhere there had to be a stallion in the mix. Please, my literary consorts, we have been done by a stallion, haven't we?
More squeals, more blushes and a call for definition. The stallion, the man who does us more than once in a session, simple to me. Further definition was required, time frame please. One night? 24 hours? One weekend? Ladies, please, I am only the reporter, let the group decide. Hooray for numbers, hooray for alcohol, the bitches wanted all three. Jesus, and I thought only men bragged.
