The phone in my office rang and it was the secretary of our national professional association asking me if I'd be the responder to a paper that had been approved for delivery at the national conference. I asked the topic of the paper which the secretary provided and I asked her for a synopsis of it which she was also able to provide. However, when I asked who authored the paper the secretary provided a name with which I was completely unfamiliar.
When I expressed surprise that I'd not heard of this author, I was informed that the presenter was a woman who had graduated college, raised a family, and only then went to graduate school and completed her doctorate. This paper stemmed from the research she had originally conducted for her dissertation.
My next question was, "Is she now employed?" and the answer was she was working as an assistant professor at a well-known research university. Given the department at this university, I could assume the woman was no slouch so I agreed to be the responder.
In a few weeks the author sent me her paper which I promptly gave to one of my graduate students to review. The grad student was properly pleased to be asked to do such an assignment, apparently not realizing that his review was really a test to determine just how knowledgeable he was.
Within a week the grad student had placed the paper and his review in my departmental mailbox and I eventually got around to looking at his review. I was more than a little surprised to find a glowing assessment of the study described in the paper. Grad students usually bent over backwards to identify research faults simply to impress their professor with their knowledge. Intrigued, I sat down to read the paper and, upon completing it, concluded that it was a first-rate piece of work and eminently publishable. My guess was that the author lacked the confidence to submit the paper to a good journal for review until she had presented it orally and had received some feedback about its quality.
When the national conference commenced I did not encounter the woman to whose paper I would respond until her actual session. I found a very attractive brunette, small, very neat and stylishly dressed who I guessed to be in her mid-40s. She was nervous. In fact, she was very nervous. I had to smile at her discomfort and I assured her she had done some very good work and she should present it confidently. She looked at me dubiously.
She made it through the session, but certainly not flawlessly because of her nerves, but she did an adequate job. When it was my turn to respond to the paper I praised the research design and told, in quite some detail, why it was an excellent study and why the results were well-written. I found the woman looking at me with gratitude and overwhelming relief.
The question-and-answer period followed and, of course, a few pedantic jerks tried to suggest that her assumptions were flawed or she had misinterpreted some earlier research on which her study was based. She actually did a fair job of refuting the ill-founded critiques and what she left unfinished I handled for her and dispatched her critics.
Following the session I picked up my notes and as I was placing them in my briefcase I was aware that someone was standing very close to me. I looked up and it was Gwen, the presenter. She had tears in her eyes and she thanked me effusively for my praise of her work and for the support I had provided in the question-and-answer period. I looked at her for a while and asked, none too gently, "What's wrong with your self-confidence?"
She was so nervous she actually hiccupped when I asked this question. I stood up, took her by the arm and said, "I don't drink so I won't offer you alcohol, but I do know where in this hotel they serve some great coffee and cheese cake." With that I took her by the arm and we marched out of the conference room to the coffee shop.
We sat and ordered and I asked, "What is going on with you?"
She nodded and took a few minutes to compose herself and said, "To start with, I was told that you would be a perfect gentleman and not at all sarcastic, but you would pretty well tell me and everyone else what a poor study I had done."
I nodded and said, "What else?"
She gulped and nodded and said, "I've had a terrible time with self-confidence since I married and especially since my husband left me after criticizing me every year we were married." Again I nodded and asked, "And graduate school?"
Gwen shook her head negatively and ommented, "That was awfully tough. I never had, or felt I had, any real support from my adviser."
I said, "OK" and added, "And, you're working at a good, and maybe great, department at a great university now."
She slowly shook her head affirmatively and said, "The department had to hire a woman and I believe I was the least objectionable one those bastards could find."
At that I spit my coffee out of my mouth and back into my cup and laughed heartily. I wiped my mouth with my napkin and said, "Let's do this one at a time. I don't slice up anyone, nicely or not, who does great work. Two, your husband doesn't count. There could be a thousand reasons for his insecurity and inadequacies of which none were of your doing. Three, your adviser did support you or you wouldn't have had an interview at the department for which you're now working. Four, if you do one more study like the one you presented this afternoon in the next year, I'll see to it that you can move to my department and replace a retirement that we have upcoming."
Gwen looked at me for a long time and finally asked, "Are you trying to seduce me?"
I burst out laughing and said, "No, I'm not, but I sure as hell wouldn't be averse to doing so now that you mention it."
Gwen smiled and asked, "Are you married?"
I shook my head signifying that I was not.
She continued, "How many times have you been married?"
I held up my thumb and pointing finger and made the figure zero.
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
Again I shook my head signifying I did not.
"Are you gay?"
I smiled and said, "No."
Again Gwen looked at me for a long time and then asked, "Are you for real?"
My sarcastic response was, "No, I'm a figment of your imagination."
Gwen sat quietly and then blushed deeply and asked in a halting voice, "Would you take me to dinner tonight? I wish you could have been my adviser in grad school."
I was startled and said, "Let me see my calendar" and I pulled up my calendar and said, "I'm free and I would be delighted to take you to dinner."
She said, "What time?"
I said, "Let's see when we can get a reservation" and I called a local, excellent restaurant with a broad menu catering to anyone's taste and got a reservation for 6:45 p.m. that evening.