Author’s note: It has been a long dry spell for thesage. Thanks to all who have e-mailed about my earlier stories. I have not responded personally , but your comments are appreciated, they give me encouragement. Thanks also to those whose votes keep two of my earlier stories, “The Pool,” and “Resurrection,” in the top five percent of stories rated in the Mature category. That too encourages me.
Sue Johanson,Canada’s sex advice guru for the elderly, says that thirty per cent of women over eighty continue to enjoy sex but, “finding a man that age with working parts is another story.” I write for those whose parts still work, those who wish they did, and all those of mature years in whom desire and romance still live.
Fiction comes out of imagination and experience. Characters come out of people we have known, or heard of, or met in other fiction. Hence, characters and stories on some level will resemble actual people and actual events, but such resemblance, as always, is purely coincidental.
*****
Sarah’s death was sudden. Married nearly fifty years, Sam was lost for awhile. Six months later he filled his days, but evenings were lonely. One night, dozing and pondering his working years, his eyes flew open with a realization. The day of Sarah’s funeral marked the thirtieth anniversary of a watershed in his life. That recollection set him on a new course of remembrance.
Sam had been a civil servant. He deprecatingly called himself a “ minor bureaucrat,” but he had been a senior official in the West Coast office of a Federal agency. Once a year he met with his counterparts from the other regions in a three day conference, and occasionally he was called to Washington to consult on some aspect of his agency’s operation.
The conferences were intense. Work sessions ran from early morning to late at night, often generating conflict as disagreements arose. The consultations were more relaxed, following the normal work schedule of the headquarters office.
At the first conference they attended together, Sam developed an easy rapport with his counterpart from Atlanta, Emily Craswell. A woman his age, she was soft-spoken, genteel, warm and dignified, her Southern manners a contrast to his openness and his brusque Yankee ways. But they saw eye-to-eye on business matters and there was a synergism in their contributions that often carried the day as opposing ideas were thrashed out.
Three years after they met, both were called to Washington to confer on a management matter.They looked forward to working together again, and arranged their flight schedules to arrive at the same time. Emily asked Sam to arrange their accommodations, they met in the airport and rode the shuttle downtown.
They dined together and retired to their separate rooms, pleased at their reacquaintance. Next morning they ate breakfast together and went together to their meeting.
The first day was filled with intensive briefings, and they returned to their rooms with a stack of material to review for the next day. They collaborated on the review, and again they were struck by how well they worked together.
The second day was less intense with no homework. That evening there was little to discuss about work, and their conversation turned to personal matters. They learned something about one another, and Emily told him she was worried about her job.
There had been a change of the political party in power, and Emily had a new boss, a political appointee who didn’t want a woman on his top staff. Discrimination was illegal but the law is often the last concern of political appointees and it is easy for high level managers to create untenable situations for subordinates they want to get rid of. Sam saw that happening to Emily, but she had been dedicated and successful so long she couldn’t see the handwriting on the wall. Fighting to keep her job, she leaned on Sam for support.
They found they could talk to each other freely, something neither could do with their own spouses. This affinity and their mutual stress about Emily’s situation was driving them together. They hadn’t planned for this and both fought it mightily, but the night before they left they succumbed to their sexual tension and made love.
They weren’t easy cheaters and were inhibited, their lovemaking perfunctory, more physical relief than true lovemaking. Nonetheless they coupled and came together twice, and for Sam his orgasms were the most intense he had ever experienced. They held each other through that night, and cried when they parted.
Sam was profoundly disturbed. At that moment he would have thrown away everything he had to stay with her but it was out of the question. He hoped that time and distance would ease the feeling but it didn’t.
They stayed in touch long-distance, and Sam provided what support he could as Emily wrestled with her problem. In the end she faced reality but she was able to find an equally responsible position in another branch of her regional office.
As her crisis approached, Sam offered to go there to provide her support. He wasn’t sure how he’d deal with it if she accepted, and he was relieved but a little hurt as well, when she refused. Perhaps there was a message there, and over time as he gradually overcame his memory of her he wondered about that.
For a long time though, she was in his mind every waking moment. They kept in touch, but after the first few months Sam was the only one who called. As she settled into her new job it was apparent she was avoiding him. She was out of the office or in a meeting. They said she’d call him back but she never did.
Eventually Sam bowed to this reality but he never forgot her. Over the years, a week rarely went by that he didn’t think of her, and his greatest regret was he hadn’t shown her how good a lover he could be. From the moment they parted he was sorry he had been so inhibited, so intent only on relieving his own tension.
Alone now, he began to obsess about this recollection, and to brood about Emily. One day he engaged an internet locator service to see if he could find her.
Indeed there was a woman in Atlanta by that name. The particulars matched her age and background, and the woman was widowed. For days Sam agonized over the information, wondering if it was the same woman, and if he’d be a complete fool to contact her. She had terminated their relationship, however gently, and he often wondered if he had merely been a shoulder for her to lean on as she fought through her personal problem.
Life had taught Sam the truth of the adage that you can’t go back, but one day he realized that the only way to resolve his obsession was to call her. With his heart in his throat he dialed her number, holding his breath as the phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Is this Emily Craswell?”
“Yes it is.”
Emotion rose in his throat. “Mrs. Craswell, do you remember a man named Sam Franklin?” Through a long pause his heartbeat thundered in his ears.
“Why - why yes I do. Is this Sam?”
“Yes it is Emily, how are you?”
“I’m fine. It’s nice to hear from you. How are you?”