"Are you big?"
Silence followed the question. Ellen looked at Max, and Max looked at Ellen. They sat a table in the back of a Mexican restaurant and ate lunch on a Tuesday.
"I didn't mean that," Ellen said.
"It's okay," Max said.
"No, it's not okay. I shouldn't have said that. That was too far."
"It's really okay."
Ellen and Max knew each other from work. She was in her early fifties, and he was in his early twenties. They were friends, and Max was friends with Ellen's daughter, Kate. Ellen introduced them. She hoped they would date.
Ellen and Max ate lunch once a month, always on a Tuesday. Their conversations covered many topics, generally politics and religion, and sometimes sports and sometimes sex. Ellen was a curious woman, and Max was open.
She asked him questions, and he always answered. She liked his opinions and his philosophies and his way of thinking. He was smart and charming and the sort of the boy she would have liked when she was in her twenties.
Sex had become a frequent topic. Slowly, it dominated their conversations. It started when Ellen asked about Max's ex-girlfriend. They had dated for a long time and broke up recently. At first, Max gave few details, but Ellen, again a curious woman, was persistent.
"I want to know for my daughter," Ellen said. "I just think you two would be so good together. Here's her picture. I have it on my phone."
That was how it started. Initially, Max told Ellen he and his girlfriend broke up because of a compatibility problem. The explanation was vague, and Ellen wanted more. She pried over more lunches, and Max told her it was a sexual compatibility problem.
"What do you mean?" Ellen said.
"I don't think I should go into it," Max said.
"It's all right. You can tell me. I'm not a prude."
"I know, but it just seems weird."
"It's not weird at all. Sex is an important part of any relationship."
"Oh I'm aware. We'd still be together, if not for the sex."
"Now, you have to tell me."
Max relented after several Tuesdays. He told Ellen that he loved his ex-girlfriend but there was a lack of sex.
"How so?" Ellen said.
"I wanted to have sex, and she didn't," Max said.
"That's not good."
"No, it wasn't."
"Why didn't she want to have sex?"
"A lot of reasons."
"Like?"
"It's too graphic."
"I'm an adult. It's okay."
Ellen had fierce eyes. The burned under her bob of platinum hair. She stared at him aggressively. The first Tuesday was strange. They met at their Mexican restaurant, and she wore makeup and earrings and a shirt that showed the size of her breasts. Max had never seen her dress like that. And she smiled a lot and she hugged him.
"I'm just curious," Ellen said. "You're a good looking and smart guy. I just can't imagine why any girl wouldn't be attracted to you."
"I'm flattered," Max said. "But I don't think that was the problem."
"So what was?"
"She just didn't like it as much I did."
"Like it?"
"My sex drive was higher. And it was uncomfortable for her."
"Uncomfortable?"
"Yeah."
"Are you big?"
Ellen didn't mean to ask the question. It just came out. But she had been thinking about it. Max was good looking. He worked out, dressed well and combed his hair. She wondered what he looked like under his sweaters and ties. She wondered what he looked like under his skinny pants and the boxer briefs she knew he wore because of a previous conversation that was almost as awkward as this one.
"I'm sorry, Max," Ellen said. "No. I'm so sorry. That was inappropriate. That was too far, and it was inappropriate."
"It's really okay."
"No, it's not. This is your private business, and you shouldn't be talking about it with me."
"I am big."
"What?"
"I'm big. That's why it was uncomfortable for her."