I suppose this had to happen at some point. I am, after all, thirty-six years older than Alex and even though our sex is the most incredibly passionate and erotically charged experience ever for both of us, I really could not see a long-term plan for us. I'm sixty. When Alex is forty and in the prime of his virility, I will be closing on eighty. I shudder when I even think of it. Even as a lifetime athlete and with fitness levels putting me in the top one per cent of female bodies, I am not going to be desirable to a man at his sexual pinnacle.
Alex really does love me; I absolutely know that he does. I love him too. I know we have skirted around it, but frankly if he wants to have a family with children, well it's now impossible for it to be with me. However, I dress it up, this beautiful flame will extinguish, and it will be for me that it must surely hurt the most.
My friends can't believe that I am dating a gorgeous, sexy young man. Well, maybe they can, given that I do actually have a toned and lithe body, and I'm told I could easily pass for forty. My hair is grey, but it is long and I love it when my hair is down. Alex loves me to spread it over his body and I know he really does not see the age difference as an issue. They are very encouraging and whilst I tell them very little detail, they can see by the way we are together, that the love is strong in our relationship.
Alex's friends like me, I know that is true. Not one of them has ever said anything to him, and he is always keen for me to come out with them all, whenever he is around. I'm one of them, and whilst some of the references and stories are alien to me, there is enough conversation to make every date with them a lovely, energising experience.
No, the circumstance I dreaded the most happened during one of the happiest weeks of my life since retirement from dancing and running.
Alex had asked me to go on holiday with him. A week in the sun sounded simply perfect. He asked me at the end of a lovely weekend of lovemaking and dinner at my favourite haunt in Central London. Actually, not far from where me first met in the coffee shop.
"Helen, I have a surprise for you?"
"Oh, Alex! I do love surprises. Go on, don't leave me in suspense!"
"Well, do you fancy a week in Spain? I'm thinking sunbed, pool, cocktail bars and you in a bikini. What do you think?"
"Wow, now hang on, let me think. Difficult decision. Can I be out of the bikini as well?"
"God Helen, you can send me crazy with one word! Well of course. I'm hoping there will be lots of opportunity not to wear a bikini."
"Well, let's go have some fun then."
So, three weeks later we find ourselves in Spain. Yes, I am very happy to be here and yes, along the way we have had one or two sideways glances, and one or two people asking themselves why that nice young man is squeezing his mother's bottom.
The second morning was blissful. The weather was perfect. A slight breeze coming into our room from the balcony and the scent of Spring flowers drew me to the window. I unwound myself from Alex's gorgeous body, got out of bed and stepped towards the window. I slipped off the little camisole top that I was wearing to sleep in, so that I was now completely naked. I knew that the balcony gave no view to anyone, as our apartment looked out directly over the sea, and a small wall obscured the view from the beach.
I leaned against the balcony wall, enjoying being nude in the open air. The breeze curled between my legs and I could feel the sensation of movement over my bottom. I stood there for some time, enjoying the view and the morning silence. It was then that I felt the delicious sensation of my beautiful man's hands resting gently around my waist and the thrill of his gentle kiss on my neck.
As he kissed me, his hands stroked my body and caressed me lovingly. His hands gently moved up to my bare boobs and he cupped them at first, then rolled his fingers over my tiny nipples and circled around them, tracing their shape. In a gentle whisper in my ear, came my lover's voice.
"Good morning my darling. You are sensational naked. I love this perfect body and these gorgeous boobs. I'm an addict for your beauty."
He gently squeezed my breasts, slipping my nipples between his fingers as he kissed my neck and back. I felt his naked body behind me, he gorgeous cock gently brushing my bottom.
His hands now explored my waist and around to my stomach, drawing me to him. Both hands slipped along my hips and he gently caressed my thighs. He very slowly tilted me forwards and kissed down my back. I could feel his body next to me, his chest on my back and his legs against mine. He was kissing me softly and his hands had the most delicious firmness. He was simply the most beautiful man I had ever known.
As he reached my spine, he knelt down behind me. His hands brushed over my bottom and he squeezed my cheeks and gently eased them apart.
"You have the most incredible bum, Helen. God you are so sexy."
As he eased apart my bottom, I could feel both the breeze and the warmth of his breath on me. Even now, the sensation is incredible and as I am quite sensitive, it still sends electric sparks through my body. And of course Alex knows that.