Chapter 2: The Healing
Soon the summer passed and it was time for Brian and Melissa to return to their respective colleges.
"Can you believe it's senior year?" Melissa had said the night before they left.
"Not really, the summer flew by."
"It sure did and especially since you were working so much these last few weeks. I hardly saw you."
Brian had signed up for as many shifts as possible at his summer job. He could use the money and needed an excuse as to why he could not go with Melissa to Jen's house to ride the horses or visit. Brian packed up his car and made the several hour drive back to his college. Once there he got busy with his studies and reconnecting with friends as he tried not to think of Jen and what happened on the fateful night. However when he was alone at night he often couldn't help himself. He would think about her full supple body and how it felt being inside her when they had made love. Even though it had been just one night, he felt it was not just sex, as much more had been shared that summer. There was this girl Sandy in one of his classes that Brian had started connecting with and a relationship was developing. He had no idea where it would lead, but she seemed sweet and he enjoyed her company well enough. Sometimes he wished she had some more depth, but she was a nice girl.
Back in her home Jen had had some time to think. She started examining her life as it was at the time. She had stayed with Scott, still stuck in those same patterns. He had never hit her again since that night, but all of the same issues and unhappiness persisted. Jen often thought about Brian and all that had transpired over the summer. She started to realize that she had acted harshly and shouldn't have pushed him aside so quickly. She remembered how she was on fire that night and had not experiences passion of that magnitude since. She worried she might never again. She knew all Brian was guilty of was caring for her and she did miss that friendship. She wondered if she would ever get that back, and if it was even right to try. She decided she would write him a letter. She took some time crafting her thoughts.
Dear Brian,
Things here are not well these days. I suppose I don't have to tell you that. You know how it is around this house. Scott hasn't raised his hand in anger since that morning, so there is that to be thankful for. I am writing because I have had some time to think. I miss our friendship and our talks. Your support meant so much to me and that is clearer now that it is gone. I feel horrible about what happened that night. I came to you and gave you an opening to cross a line that you were trying hard not to cross. You were being a gentleman; you knew it was wrong, and you knew I wasn't ready. I led you to believe I was and we shared a beautiful moment. I see now how selfish it was of me to take that moment and not think of what came next. I didn't see that there was no going back and that I would be forced to make decisions I couldn't and still can't make. You are such a loyal and caring person and I hope that we can be friends again.
Sincerely Yours,
Jen
In his dorm Brian read the letter and he didn't see how they could be friends again. If she is still with Scott, there is no place for me, he thought. They could not visit and Scott seeing letters coming to the house would only cause problems. Brian also was of the belief that Jen had made her decision and now she had to live with that. I was there supporting her, showing her she deserved better, and offering her an out, but she cast me aside, he thought. That is on her and not me, so I will just keep me living my life and she can live hers. Jen tried sending some shorter follow up e-mails, but those also went unanswered. One night he was studying when the phone rang.
"Brian, it's Melissa, I wanted to talk to you."
"Hey Melissa, what's up?"
"I'm fine, but what's up with you and Jen?"
"What do you mean? I haven't talk to her in over a month."
"That's just it. You were so close, we all were, and now she says you haven't answered her emails or letter. I know how much you love a good old fashioned letter."
"Well, I guess I just got tired of hearing her talk about how bad her life has been. I can't be her perpetual shoulder to cry on, you know. I don't think you should either"
"That's cold Brian and doesn't sound like you. You know that is just how it is with her and Scott."
"Yes, I do, but what does she expect me to do? Or you for that matter?"
"To listen I guess, as friends do."
"I can't anymore. I mean we are closing in on graduation and have to go and live our lives. I am not going to spend any more time playing the will she or won't she leave game."
"I suppose I hear what you are saying. Plus I have always said she won't leave him."
"You were right, but I guess I always held out hope; seems like it would be the right thing to do for her, him, and the kids."
"Yes, but it is not our place to do anything."
"Exactly my point, so I am doing nothing. You can tell her that if you want."
"I'll let her know that you need some space."
"Thanks and I better get back to my studying."
Brian felt bad keeping a secret from his good friend, but he didn't see another way. Melissa knowing would be super awkward and problematic. That semester came and went as did the next. On holiday breaks Brian went home and while he always spent time with Melissa, she couldn't get him to go see Jen even with the lure of the horses. Then graduation came and needing a change of scenery Brian signed up for the Peace Corps and spent a year living abroad. His girlfriend Sandy was not keen on the idea, as she wanted him to stay put for her. Brian knew he needed some time to find himself and figure out his life. They stayed in touch, but had decided that they would not expect exclusivity, and would revisit their relationship later. When he came home he settled himself in a bigger town between NYC and his smaller hometown. He wanted his own space, more job opportunities, but also to be close enough to family, after his year away.
Brian had reconnected with his family and Melissa. She was living closer to their hometown, but they got together about 2 times a month. Brian was working as part of a community mental health team, while he was applying to graduate school for counseling. He always found himself helping people, so he figured why not get paid. Sandy had moved out west back to Texas near her family. Brian made the trip out a few times, but he didn't like it there. It was just much too hot in the summer and not his scene. The last time he went they had a fight. Sandy gave an ultimatum; either move here and get serious, or go home and don't come back. So in response Brian left without any plans to come back. He knew he would find someone better. The return flight was heavily delayed and Brian hurried off the plane hoping to catch a bus to Grand Central Station and then a train. He checked the train schedule on his phone as he hurried along, dragging his suitcase behind him.
At that moment Jen was just arriving into the same airport after having worked a long flight. She was signing up to work as many flights as possible these days. She needed the money and the distraction that work provided her. Jen was also in a hurry for the same reasons and because running through an airport was something to which she had become accustomed over the years. "Just put your head down and push through the crowds," she said to herself. They were both running and then boom.
"Oh I'm so sorry miss. I was buried in my phone and not paying attention," Brian said.
"No, I am sorry sir, When I get in full flight attendant mode everyone else better watch out," Jen said.
Brian looked up from his phone to see if the woman was ok. "Jen, is that you?" he asked almost unsure. Man she has let herself go was his first thought. She is so much better than this.
Jen also looked up and focused at the sound of her name. "Brian! Wow, how long has it been?" She asked.
"2.5 years or so I think," Brian answered.
