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*****
My name is Susan and I've led a fairly sheltered life compared to some of the wild stories you can read about online but I guess they're probably the exception rather than the rule. Mine was a good middle class upbringing in Cheshire in the UK and I have a lot to be thankful for. I had a good job in marketing, I earned a healthy salary that would allow me to retire in a few years and I had a loving husband as well as two daughters who have now left home and are forging their own paths in life. At 53 years old I was painfully aware that time was running out and that realisation that you have more years behind you than are facing you tends to make a woman stop and think. It has certainly made this woman stop and think!
The trouble was that I had no idea at all what it was I needed as there wasn't anything obviously missing in my life. This question had been troubling me for a while and not for the first time I found myself lamenting this fact to my good friend Rachel. We had grown up together, dated together and lost our virginity at about the same time so I suppose you could say that in many ways, her life tended to mirror my own. The obvious difference between us was that Rachel was divorced last year while I was still happily married.
"I just don't know what it is Rach, I have everything yet I just know that something is missing" I complained as we chatted over tea in my kitchen one day.
"Just stop looking then and whatever you need will probably just arrive and surprise you when it's good and ready."
"I suppose you're right," I sighed "but what about you?"
"What about me?"
"Well, I feel sorry for you as you're divorced and living by yourself." This always seemed like the worst fate imaginable to me but I was surprised when she laughed it off so casually.
"Don't feel sorry for me hun, I'm having the best time of my life!"
"How can you?" I replied, "At our age there can't be many opportunities to socialise as a singleton."
"I used to think that too but with so many people getting divorced, you'd be amazed at the opportunities out there. I have plenty of men available in my life now and I can decide if I want something serious or just a fling. I'm a modern woman!" she smiled and she certainly did look very pleased with herself.
"You don't just have one-night stands do you Rach? You don't want to be a slut!"
"Don't be ridiculous Sue," she laughed "this isn't the dark ages and we're not young girls anymore. I've dated some of the men quite a few times and it can be reasonably serious but with others it's just sex and it has been both a revelation and a real pleasure."
I couldn't think what to say and just sat there open-mouthed.
"Oh don't look at me like that, we may be getting on a bit but this last year has been a sexual awakening for me."
"How do you mean?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"Things were different when we grew up Sue, we were restricted by expectation and convention but people don't care about that as much anymore. I'd only ever sucked my husband's cock before my divorce but I've sucked loads of them now and let me tell you, there are better ones out there than I ever had in my marriage and that's before they even fuck me!"
"Rachel!!" I gasped, stunned at the way she was talking. "I thought you were happy with Ken." Her husband had been a very decent looking man with a good body and when we'd been on holiday together and relaxing by the pool, it looked like he was better endowed than my own husband, Rob.
"I was but then I didn't really know any different. We were both married quite young and we hadn't really had a wide experience of boys before we were married so I'm making up for lost time. Perhaps that's what you need."
I was shocked. "You think I should get a divorce?"
"No, absolutely not. If you're happy in your marriage then stick with it. All I'm saying is that your experience of men is as limited as mine was last year but you still have a great body so perhaps you should just try someone else to see what you've been missing. Even without a steady partner I bet I've had more sex than you in the last year and I bet I've tried more things too."
"That's not true!" I retorted. I was immediately defensive of the sex life I shared with Rob, though I wasn't sure why as it hardly had the first throes of youthful passion. If I was lucky it was a quick Saturday night fumble that was over pretty quickly and I'd never experienced an orgasm with him. He was only about 5 inches and could never quite hit the right spot but he was my husband and I did love him so I felt duty bound to defend his performance. Rachel could tell I wasn't even convincing myself.
"Really? Have you sucked his cock? Have you had him cum in your mouth? Have you had a cock so big you thought it would rip you in two? Have you had a cock in your bum?" she challenged.
I wasn't sure how to respond I was so stunned by what she'd said.
"You've done all that in the last year?" I asked, unconvinced.
She smiled confidently, "And more" she proudly proclaimed, knowing she'd won this particular contest.
Days later I was still churning over my conversation with Rachel. What she'd said really had shocked me, yet I was also troubled by how accurate she'd been and how curious I'd been feeling ever since. The reality was that my sex life was a bit mundane and as much as I loved Rob, he'd never really fully satisfied me in bed. What's more, all of the sexual detail Rachel mentioned was also true; I'd only ever sucked my husband's cock and I'd rarely even done that. No man had ever cum in my mouth and though it didn't particularly appeal to me, it still felt like I'd missed out on an experience compared to Rachel. My pussy had never felt even close to being stretched by a man and I'd certainly never had a cock in my back door. Again, it didn't really appeal to me but I equally couldn't say I wouldn't love it because I'd never tried.
I thought about trying some of this with Rob but soon dismissed the idea. He'd be too shocked by such suggestions and did I really want to try new experiences with a man who had never really satisfied me and more recently appeared to have given up trying? I was caught between two stools as I didn't want to lose Rob but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to try something new. My sex life was indeed the only part of my life that wasn't completely to my satisfaction so perhaps this really was what I'd been needing without ever realising it.
This torture went on for a couple of weeks and I found myself using my trusty vibrator more than usual. These sessions invariably involved me imagining it was another man's cock and thinking of me doing all the wild things Rachel had described. I even tried putting it in my bum and found that if I used lots and lots of lube, it could go in and feel quite good but more than anything, I yearned to suck a man until he came in my mouth and finally have my pussy properly filled with a big, hard cock.
Eventually I couldn't resist these feelings any longer so I decided to see what might be out there and joined a message board for people looking for sexual partners. I was VERY cautious so my profile contained only the barest minimum of information and at first I didn't even post a picture. This didn't get me very far so I eventually uploaded a picture of my tits as they're still reasonably firm and a healthy 38DD. Posting such a picture felt like a really wicked thing to do and I couldn't quite believe I was going that far. I decided that was it and if nothing happened I wouldn't go any further.
A couple of days later I was checking my profile and getting thoroughly depressed by the disgusting men who said nothing more sophisticated than: 'I'll fuck your wet cunt so hard it'll be sore for a week'. Call me old fashioned but that just did nothing at all for me and I was surprised it would work with any woman. I was just about to sign off and give up for good when another message came through. I almost didn't bother reading it but it turned out to be different to the rest.
The man was younger than me at 42 years old and was very polite in his message. He was called Jack and described himself as a professional of average height and build who wanted to have a 'no frills' relationship with a woman that was based on mutual fun but he also wanted to treat a lady with the respect she deserved. He was clearly educated and sounded very genuine. He'd sent a picture including his face and while he wasn't a movie star, he was an attractive guy with a good body and a warm smile. Something in his eyes made me feel like I would be comfortable with him so with a pounding heart, I sent him an immediate reply saying I was happy to hear from him and would like to know more. I expected another private message but instead he suggested using the webcam app. I was cautious but reasoned that it would give me a better opportunity to see if he was right for what I wanted.