500 miles is one hell of a long distance to travel in this country sometimes. Especially when you don't drive and can't afford a train ticket anywhere. When you're 21, it's easy to look like a student and hitch lifts anywhere you want, but when you're ten years older the cold eases into your muscles so much more easily, and these long trips hurt a little more each time.
I guess I'm just not built for these long trips any more, and prefer the comforts of home too much. I'd been persuaded into going to the festival by a girl I knew from school; it had poured down all weekend, and we danced all day and shivered until morning. We'd met up in a pub beer garden with teenage crushes obvious for all to see, but by the end of it she dropped me on the road with little more than a peck goodbye.
And that was that.
The road can be lonely and unforgiving. I was at a low ebb, and the drivers of the cars passing by my thumb studiously ignored me. Each evening, I ended up at some forlorn service station, standing outside the door asking for lifts onwards, hoping that someone would give me a lift a decent distance.
And nobody did. For two nights, I slept in the rain behind the skips at the back of two service stations; for three days, I barely got a lift. In sixty hours I travelled sixty miles, and at this rate I wouldn't see a bed for ten days.
By the end of the third day, I was desperate. The rain was too heavy to stand on the A-road, and nobody would pick me up after the autumn sunset anyway. I was starving, smelly, skanky; I just needed somewhere to get refreshed, to get my head together, to have a drink and relax. But as the night wore on, it became clear that I was going nowhere, and I started to case the joint. It closed at eleven, and I pounded the pavement outside, trying to work out where the CCTV pointed, where the motion detectors were sited, how I could get in. Hell, I just needed to eat. And a night in the cells would be better than another night here.
But you never get a lift if you show that. For a start, the staff will move you on. I used my last fiver to buy a few cups of tea in the hours leading up to 11pm and stood outside with my pathetic sodden destination sign; smiled and was friendly to everyone who came in. Usually people just ignore you, often tell you where to go, but sometimes they glance at your sign and you sense they might just be thinking about it.
At 10.55, a woman stopped and filled her car up, looked at my sign and went in to pay for her fuel. As she pushed the door open, she glanced up and caught my eye before hurrying inside.
What was that? Fear? Compassion? Contempt? I pretended not to notice, but as she slid her card into the terminal I could feel her eyes upon me.
Last chance of the night, then.
I jumped up and down a bit, stretched out my muscles, breathed into my hands, let the air stream out from my lungs into the cold night. It made an impressive plume as it went, and as she came back out she peered at my sign again.
This time she smiled.
'The M1 is a little optimistic' she said, 'but I can drop you at the start of the M62. At least you can get warm, and there's a 24-hour garage there. I think'.
These little lifts make one hell of a difference. All us hitchers want is a big road, somewhere with plenty of cars. It's a game of odds; x% of people are good enough to offer lifts, and y% are going in our direction. The more cars we have, the more the odds in our favour.
We didn't have far to go together, but we made the usual small talk. Debbie had just dropped her son off at her daughter's and was on her way home; in fact, her first weekend alone for a long time. She had a busy life, it seemed - she'd been a divorcee for seven years, her mother was also very ill and she spent most of the time between school runs taking care of her - and she was looking forward to some time to herself.
And we'd really only got about that far when we got to the service station she'd planned to drop me at, only to find the entrance was barricaded with cones. It was closed.
Debbie slowed the car and pulled into the next lay-by.
She pulled the handbrake on. 'James, I'm sorry. I can't take you up to the motorway. I've still got 30 miles until I'm home, and it's so late. I don't know what else I can do.'
'Hey, it's no problem,' I shrugged, looking glumly at the wipers trying in vain to clear the windscreen, 'there was a country park back there. There's bound to be a shelter back there I can crash in. I'll be fine. Look, you've been a star - if it was a clear night, I'd have been delighted if you'd dropped me here.'