Wrong Number

RING! RING!

Dave had trouble waking up. "Who the hell could be calling me at this hour?"

"Hello!"

"Is this David Thompson?"

"Yes."

"Mr. Thompson, listen carefully. We have your wife. If you want to see her again, you must pay us $250,000."

"Yeah, right. Who is this really?"

"I am the man who kidnapped your wife and am telling you how you can get her back - alive. Did you hear me? We have your wife and will kill her if you don't pay. Are you not interested?"

"It's fucking 2:00 in the morning! Give me a chance to think. How do I know what you are saying is true?"

"Bring the bitch over here to the phone."

A few seconds later, "Dave, please pay the man. They are going to kill me. I know I haven't been the best wife. I'll make it up to you. Just pay the ransom, sweetheart." Dave could hear the sound of a chair being scooted back across a floor. The kidnapper spoke once again.

"There, are you satisfied now? I want the $250,000 in twenties. No new bills. Put the money in a gym bag. Go to Holland Park to the statue of Chester A. Arthur. Put the bag in the trash can next the statue at 5:00 on Thursday. After you drop it, then you leave. By the time you get home, your wife will be there. Got it?"

"No."

"No? What do you mean no? Do I need to go over the fucking instructions again?"

"No, I'm not paying the ransom."

"Do you think we are not serious about killing her?"

"No, I hope you are."

"What?"

"Look, you idiot. I was getting ready to divorce the bitch. Even though she's a complete slut, she was going to get half the money I worked hard for. Now you're giving me a way that I can get it all. Go ahead and kill her. I dare you. You'll be doing me a big favor."

"You're just trying to trick me into letting her go. You don't think we'll really do it, do you?"

"Listen, dipstick, I sincerely hope you do. I'm praying that you're not some low-lying piece of scum that doesn't keep his word. Now, hurry up, I need some sleep."

"You bastard. I can't believe you're so hard-hearted even if she is a bitch. Fuck, we might just return her to make your life more miserable. How would you like that, asshole?"

"Wait. Don't do that. You'll still be guilty of kidnapping and have no money at all to show for it. Damn, I hate to bring this up, but what if I give you some money to go ahead and kill her?"

"You'll pay me $250,000 to kill your wife instead of bringing her back?"

"A quarter of a million? Hell, no. Maybe $10,000."

"No way. It cost us a lot to set this up. We'll need more than that to get out of town."

"Okay. What is the lowest fee you will accept?"

"$25,000."

"Shit! That would wipe out all my savings." There was a pause. "Damnit. Okay. It's worth it to get rid of her. I'll pay."

"Send the money to . . . "

"Whoa there. I'm not paying anything until I know she is dead."

"Well, I'm not killing her unless you pay first."

"We have an impasse. Let me think a minute. . . . I tell you. Send me a body part like her finger that has her wedding and engagement rings. That way I'll know it is her. I'll send the money according to your previous instructions so you can finish the job. Actually, I don't care if you do it before you get the money."

"So, I send you her ring finger and . . ."

"With the rings still on there. I can pawn them to get some of my money back."

"I send you her rings and finger first and then you pay. Right?"

"And then you kill her, right."

"Where do I send the finger?"

"210 Chenoweth Drive."

"Got it." The phone hung up.

"Who was that on the phone, dear?"

"Another wrong number for the other David Thompson."

"So, are we going to pay $10,000 to someone? And who lives at Chenoweth Drive?"

"We're not paying anyone anything. The address is where the other David Thompson lives. I sure wouldn't want to be him in the next few days. Go on back to sleep, honey."