With Friends Lie You

"Thanks for meeting with me Jerry. I didn't know who else to talk to that is such a good friend to me and John."

"Not just friends, I hope. I love both you and John equally even though I have known him longer."

"I appreciate that." She sighed and seemed to be searching for the words to say.

"Janice, take your time and tell me what the problem is."

"John has changed in the last six months."

"How so?"

"I don't know how to explain it really. He seems more distant, that's probably the best word for it. He never smiles when he comes home. The first thing he does is get a drink. He used to kiss me first. It doesn't seem to matter what I make for supper. He just eats it and gets up and goes to his home office."

"Maybe he has extra work right now."

"That's what he says when I ask him. I confronted him and said I should be his priority when he got home, not his work. He looked at me like I was crazy. Several times I have heard, 'I've got a lot of work to do right now. I'm doing this for us and our family's future. If you don't want me to work from home, I'll just stay at the office longer.' I'm afraid to push it any more for fear I won't hardly see him at all. I just go to my bedroom and cry."

"What about in the bedroom? I know that may be too delicate for you to talk about."

"You're about the only one I trust with this information. We have sex much less than before and when we do, it's sex and not love-making. He stays with it until he has a climax and then he goes to sleep. I've been left hanging many times. I don't know when I last had an orgasm from sex with him. I hope I'm not embarrassing you with my story."

"I'm not embarrassed. First of all, I am pleased that you trust me enough to tell me your problem. Secondly, I am amazed that John would take for granted what a beautiful, caring, and intelligent woman he has. You should have someone making love to you every night as many times as you want."

"I appreciate that. I just wish John felt the same way. Have I really changed that much? I know I have a little muffin top now and I've always had small breasts. Am I no longer attractive to him? It's either that or he may have found someone else better looking than I am."

"If he's found someone else, it isn't because you aren't attractive. If John were no longer in the picture, men would be lining up at your door to ask you out. I would be the first one in line."

"Those are kind words. Thank you."

"Has he given you any signs of promiscuity? Has he had to stay late at the office? More frequent business trips? Perfume smells on his clothing?"

"No, but that's not much consolation. He's too smart to get caught in the cliché discovery events. What I worry about is at his office. I wonder if the reason he brings so much office work home is because he is doing 'naughty' work so much at his office. Have you seen how many beautiful women work there?"

"Yes, I have. Janice, none of them hold a candle to you as far as beauty or personality. If he is tempted by any of those women, it must be because you've been so nice to you that he's fallen into the trap of taking you for granted. What, you guys have been married almost seven years? That's about the amount of time things like that occur in a lot of marriages."

"So, I should do things to make him notice me more? I've been wearing more revealing clothes at home. I've asked him to take a shower with me. I've expressed great satisfaction when we have had sex. It doesn't seem to matter."

"That's exactly what I was talking about. You have been such a wonderful wife he feels safe in not needing to treat you as nicely as you deserve. You've become a safe base of operation from which he can reach out and pluck some fresh fruit and know he can always come back to you if he is unsuccessful."

"So, you think he has been having affairs?"

"I don't want to think so. It would hurt me greatly if he were cheating on you. It might even end our friendship. I would hate to lose my best friend. The only thing worse would be losing both of you." Jerry's eyes got red.

"Tell me what to do. I have no clue."

"I think he needs to be reminded how lucky he is to have you. Stop doing so much for him. I suggest you leave hints as to you possibly being with other men. Talk about some new, good-looking guy at work that all the women are hot for but don't mention any names. Have a girls night out and dress sexy. In fact, dress sexier to work. Tell him you have to work late some nights."

"Don't you think he might get mad at me if I did that?"

"You do want to get him upset. You want to change the interaction at home. John is not likely to do anything rash unless he had pictures of you with another man. He would finally be listening when you told him what has been bothering you with his behavior. That should give you the opportunity to get your marriage back on track."

Janice sat and soaked in what Jerry had said. He got a big smile on his face and added, "Of course, you could tell him you were pregnant but you're not sure he is the father."

Janice slapped Jerry's hand but laughed. "That would certainly get his attention and would certainly get me a divorce."

"Let me be serious again. Divorce is about the worst thing that could happen. What is worse is a miserable marriage. You are still young and very desirable. If you don't change anything you're doing and expect a different result in your marriage . . . "

"I know. It's the definition of insanity. I just hate the idea of playing games on him, but if I can't think of anything else . . . I've got to run. Thank you, Jerry. You're a good friend." She got up and they hugged.

"Call me. Anytime. I'm there for you.",

As Janice walked off, Jerry thought to himself, "Finally, I have a chance at her. I couldn't have planned this any better myself. Now to plant the seeds in John's mind."

"Hello."

"Hey, John, it's Jerry. You got time for lunch today? My treat."

"Thanks for the invite. I would love to go, but I'm swamped with work. Maybe another time."

"John, I don't want to be melodramatic, but we really need to meet for you marriage's sake."

"What? What's wrong with my marriage?"

"It's too much to say over the phone. I've hesitated in calling you, but now I can't live with myself unless I talk to you. If you're sure everything is fine between you and Janice, just forget I called."

"I'll see you at the Eighth Street Grille at 12:00."

John saw that Jerry was already at a table and joined him. He ordered a drink and started right in. "So, what makes you think something is wrong with my marriage?"

"Well, you know that Janice and I have lunch together occasionally. She called me up the other day and asked to meet. Now, realize that I am breaking confidence she made me swear to. You're my oldest friend. I just couldn't keep silent. Anyway, the strange part was that she said, "Don't tell John, please." I thought that odd and tried to remember if you had a birthday coming up or some anniversary.

"Anyway, she came flat out and asked me if you were having an affair?"

"What? Why in the world would she think I am having an affair?"

"Well, have you noticed anything different at home lately?"

"I've had a lot of extra work lately, but I told her that it was temporary. She seemed put out that I wasn't as 'lovey-dovey' as she would like. I make sure we have sex every so often. I thought that would satisfy her. Maybe I need to pay more attention to her."

"I'm afraid you may be too late."

"What do you mean?"

"I think she's pretty well convinced you're having an affair. She says you probably think she can't find someone to fool around with like you have. From her description of the men who have hit on her at work, I think she may have already had a revenge fuck."

"She better not have. I'll divorce her ass so fast . . . "

"Slow down, big guy. I didn't say I know for sure. It's just that if she accuses you of having an affair, I'm pretty sure it's to help cover up her own affair. I have no doubt she feels she would be justified."

"An hour ago, I was sure I was happily married and now . . . What do you think I should do?"

"What you need is proof one way or the other. You could hire a private investigator, or I could do some snooping on my own. She seems to trust me with some of her secrets."

"Man, I can't afford a PI. Would you mind checking up some more? Is there anything else?"

"It hurts me to say this, but you probably should talk to a lawyer."

"A lawyer? Isn't that premature?"

"No. It's called 'planning.' Just because you check out your options and draft what you consider a fair settlement, it doesn't mean you have to do anything with it. Besides, you don't know if she's already talked to a lawyer herself."

"Okay. I guess that's the smart thing to do. Anything else?"

"Don't change anything you're doing at home. She might get suspicious and then I wouldn't be able to find out anything for you."

"Okay. That makes sense. It's not going to be easy."

Jerry knew it would not only be not easy, it would be impossible. If someone tells someone else not to change, what happens? They change their normal behavior while trying to make sure they are behaving normally. From Janice's next meeting, Jerry knew he was right.

"Jerry, he's gotten even weirder lately. Something is going on for sure. I've dropped the hints about my 'supposed affair' but he hasn't seemed to have picked up on it. He's covering up something. I just hope it's not an affair."

"Well, I'm breaking confidence to tell you this, but I care about you too much to keep silent. John has contacted an attorney - a divorce attorney."

"What? That son-of-a-bitch! He's just going to dump a divorce petition on me without talking first. I'll skewer his balls on fondue forks."

"Calm down. You need to respond intelligently. You can't let him know you know or it will tell him that I was the source. I'm with you on this, but I would like to keep him as a friend. I hope you understand."

"Of course, I'm sorry. It must be hard on you for you to see two friends in a big mess like this. What do you think I should do?"

"Number 1, get you an attorney to prepare for either a preemptive strike or quick retaliation. Start your first offer beyond what you might think is fair. That should shock him into realizing what he's losing. He might even try to get you to drop the divorce.

"Secondly, I would recommend hiring a private investigator, but they cost so much you probably couldn't hide the payment from John. How about me watching him? He seems to still trust telling me things."

"Honestly, Jerry, would you show me proof that John was cheating on me? Would you do that to your oldest friend?"

Jerry took one of her hands in his. "That hurt me, Janice. Yes, John is my best friend, but I don't understand how you could doubt how much I care about you too. I would never let anyone hurt you if I could prevent it. Not even my best friend."

"I'm sorry I doubted you, Jerry. It's just that I've never had a close male friend before except John. I'm being forced to realize that you may be my only real male friend. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have someone care for me so much. I wish I could give you more than just my thanks."

Jerry thought to himself, "Oh you will give me more. Count on it."

"Well, John, I'm sorry to say that it's probably that Janice is having an affair. Here look at this."

"They sure look cozy. Who's the guy?"

"Kent Travis from her work."

"That must be the guy she can't shut up about. A 'shit-doesn't-stink' guy. I'm not surprised. Send me a copy so I can send to my lawyer."

"I'm sorry, old buddy, no can do. First of all, adultery is not grounds for divorce in this state. Secondly, it probably wouldn't be admissible as evidence. And most important, since it was taken without their permission, I might be in some legal jeopardy if her lawyer got ahold of it. I only took it so you could have confirmation on your assumptions. So, you going to pull the trigger on the divorce?"

"I don't know. As bad as it is now, she has been a good wife for over six years."

"As far as you know anyway."

"Yeah, but I feel I owe it to her to try to explain. I think that's only fair."

"Only fair? I thought you had more backbone than that. She shit on you and you're thanking her for handing you some toilet paper? I never pictured you being a willing cuckold. I'm out of here."

Jerry grinned when his back was to John. He was hoping challenging John's manhood would work. Now for his Photoshop trick on Janice.

"That doesn't show very much."

"They were very careful. See where she has her hand on his arm. It hardly ever left there once she put it on him. I couldn't get into a position to show you her eyes when she looked at John. They screamed, "I can't wait to get you alone." I was lucky to get the photos I did. John was getting antsy about me hanging around as long as I did. I hate to say it, but if he isn't screwing her now, it's only because they are waiting for him to be divorced."

"Why hasn't he had me served yet if he's so anxious to get it on with her?"

"He said that his lawyer was trying to figure out a way to protect more of his funds from the divorce settlement. You might want to consider filing first just so you can get his funds frozen where they are."

"The papers are ready, but I was thinking I need to confront him first. I don't exactly have proof of infidelity."

Jerry was getting a bit agitated. "Janice, he's got a divorce attorney. He's moving to hide money from you. He has been distant and unloving towards you. You've seen that another woman has her sights set on him. What more do you need? I didn't think you would be one of those women whose husband abuses them, but they refuse to file charges and let him come back to abuse her over and over. I would lose my respect for you if you did that."

"Jerry, what would I do to keep my head on straight without you?"

"You never have to worry about that. I will always be here for you." This time they parted with a hug and a brief kiss.

Jerry was in seventh heaven. He had to pinch himself at his good fortune. Looking at the calendar, he projected he would be porking Janice by the end of the month. He needed one more piece of leverage to finish off his project: inside information.

Jerry dropped by Janice and John's house when he knew John would not be there and Janice would. "What are you doing here? John's not here yet."

"I know. I need one of John's tools. He said I could drop by a second to get it."

"Do you know where it is?"

"Sure. Don't let me stop you from making dinner."

Jerry went to John's workshop and picked the dirtiest tool he had. He brought it back into the kitchen. Jerry remarked, "I'm afraid I got a mess on my hands. Is it okay if I clean me and the tool off in the downstairs bathroom?"

"Boys and their toys. Make sure you only use the paper towels. Around here, it's 'you make the mess, you clean it up.'"

"No problem. By the way, could I trouble you for a drink of water? With ice please."

While Janice went for the water, Jerry stuck a microphone under the kitchen table. Then he went into the bathroom. By the time he came out, Janice had his drink ready. He gulped it down and left. As soon as he was in the car, he called John to ask to borrow the tool he now had with him. No problem.

Jerry had stopped. The microphone had a limited range. He could hear Janice making kitchen noises. Soon, he heard the door open and close. "I'm home." Janice made no reply.

Sounds of dinner being placed on the table were next. Janice asked what he wanted to drink. John said he already had his drink in hand. Within moments John spoke, "I remember a time when you served meals fit for a loyal, hard-working husband."

"Well, I remember a time when I had a loyal husband."

"What the hell you mean by that? If there's anyone not faithful around her, it's you."

"Fuck you. I have been a faithful, loving wife for years and what has it gotten me. A husband who has taken me for granted. Loved his work more than his wife. And now is setting up a new piece of ass for when he divorces me."

"Where do you get off saying that to me? I have worked hard for us, for our future family, and for our retirement. Do I get any consideration or thanks from my wife? Hell no, instead she starts looking like a slut when she goes to work. She flaunts her new boyfriend's qualities in front of me to torture me. She goes behind my back and gets a divorce attorney before even telling me she has a problem with me."

"You're the one with a blonde girlfriend who can't keep her hands off you. I've seen a picture. Yes, I went to see a divorce attorney but that was in self-defense. You had already hired one for you. Now you're trying to hide money from me, so you won't have to pay me my fair share in a divorce. Well, I'm having you served tomorrow. I will download our account balances right now so you can't hide any more money."

"You are truly delusional. You're just making up all those things about me to hide you own adultery. Well, fine with me. Kent can have you for all I care. I'm out of here." Jerry could hear the door slamming. He was happy. Jerry's overheard conversation confirmed he had gotten the fire roaring. Now he only had to make sure neither would pour any water on it.

In a few minutes, Jerry's phone rang. It was Janice. A crying, sobbing Janice. "We had a terrible fight. He left. Is he with you?"

"No. I imagine he went drinking. How are you doing? Do you need me to come over?"

"No, I think I need to be alone for a while in case John comes back. I'm afraid he would be mad at you if you were here."

"He didn't hit you, did he?"

"No, but he hurt me nonetheless. He denied doing anything wrong and accused me of all kinds of horrible things. John really seemed liked he believed what he was saying. We needed to have an adult conversation, but it just escalated out of hand so quickly. I hope he comes back so we can talk. He made some wild accusation about a guy named Kent. Do you know anyone named Kent?"

"None other than Clark Kent."

"Well, if he calls you, please have him call me."

"Are you sure you want to talk to him tonight? You might want to let him cool down some more."

"No, I think we need to get it all out in the open, otherwise I think we're headed for a divorce."

Jerry tried to hide his glee. "I sure hope it doesn't come to that. I'll tell him to call if he contacts me."

A couple of hours later, Jerry got another call. "Hey, ole bud. I need a place to crash. Can you come pick me up? The bartender took my keys. Said I'm too drive to drunk. Ha!"

"I'll be right there."

On the way back to Jerry's apartment, John was melancholy. "Damn, I miss her already. Did I do the right thing, Jer? I haven't been the best husband, not even close. I think I should call her to apologize."

"Are you kidding? Go ahead and do it if you want her to walk all over you the rest of your life. She's not happy living with you? Let her see what it's like living without you. Don't call her. Don't take any of her messages - phone, text or email. When she's done all the household chores and other chores you do as well as her own, she'll begin to understand how lucky she has been. Of course, you run the danger that this Kent fellow moving right in and taking your place. In that case, good riddance. Right?"

"You really think she'd do that?"

"I don't know. I never thought she'd do what she's done."

Janice made several attempts to contact John but was unable to get him to answer or respond. She called Jerry for help. "Jerry, do you know where he is?"

"I can't lie to you. Yes, I know where he is. He's made me swear not to tell you. He's told me a message to give to you and said you could give me a message to give back to him."