Many thanks to Grogers7 for his patient editing.
Conventions can be a bitch. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong today. The guest speaker was late, and the start of the morning workshops was delayed 45 minutes. When he finally made it, most of the presentations had to be cut short to put us back on schedule. Priorities being what they were, my 20 minute presentation at the end of the morning had to be cut to 5 minutes. Might as well have stayed home! Anyway, most of the convention attendees were just eager to go to lunch, and my presentation was done amid a buzz of chatter. Nobody was really paying attention.
Five hours later, I was at the hotel restaurant just trying to relax and eat some mystery meat they called steak. I was chewing on a tough piece when I heard an exclamation.
"Oh my! Oh my! Is that you Robert?"
Yeah it was me, Robert! But I was tempted to ignore the question. Why? Because the voice was that of my ex-wife! I must admit that when it comes to the game of playing dumb, despite everything you hear from her, Yvonne always wins. How shitty can my day be? 200 miles away from home, and I have to bump into my ex!
"It is you!" said Yvonne. She sat down in the seat across from of me: "Mind if I join you?"
My god! It was like déjà vu all over again. I don't mean my ex-wife as gorgeous as the last day I saw her. No, I mean the way she simply asked permission after the fact. It was her habit to do whatever took her fancy, then ask if it is all right.
Might as well revert to my behaviour of years past.
"As a matter of fact, I do mind, but now that you are sitting in front of me, there's not much I can do about it."
She giggled.
"Always so funny, you didn't change a bit, Dear! Funny and handsome, just the way I remember you!" She said, while sitting a bit straighter on her chair and looking at me.
She wanted me to return the praise. Well, good luck!
"I wish I could say the same of you, Darling!" I answered with emphasis on "darling" -- even though I knew the sarcasm would be lost on her. "But to be honest, I would need to see you give a blowjob to a stranger to say that you are exactly as I remember you"
Any other woman would have simply got up and left. Not Yvonne! I am pretty sure she felt bad for what she did to me, but the guilt would have been only skin-deep. Felt until the next thrill came along!
She put her hand on mine. "Oh Robert! I can't tell you how sorry I am for what I did! And it was for nothing really!"
I removed my hands from her light grip.
"You know what? I keep telling my friends that you are the fish that got away." She said with a glimpse of sincerity.
Can't be married to the same woman for 12 years without being able to read her, even a little bit. She was as sincere as she could be.
"If you like fishermen's sayings," I answered, "was your boss the big fish in the pond? Was he tasting fishy when I surprised you giving him a blowjob in your office?"
"It was nothing, Baby! Nothing compared to the love you always had waiting for me at home. Just a stupid mistake! And now I am paying for it. I am apart from the only man I really loved."
Her hand had found mine again. Oh, oh! She must have been ditched by her boss, whom she wed not long after the divorce.