I guess in some ways, I had it coming. I kept haranguing my poor wife for being a little overweight. Whenever she would eat that second dessert or late night sweet I would chide her about it. I really shouldn't have made a big deal out of it. She was only about twenty pounds overweight. It's not like she was a monster or anything. And really a lot of middle aged women gain more weight than that. But no, I had to be an idiot about it. And she taught me a lesson. Did she ever!
One weekend morning, Cindy and I were getting dressed to go out to brunch and she pulled out a pair of jeans she hadn't worn in a while. She was cursing in frustration because she had gotten too plump to button them.
"Should have skipped that second bowl of ice cream last night," I commented.
Cindy gave up trying to button her jeans and stood there facing me in her bra with her jeans unbuttoned and her white little pot belly poking out. She looked cute actually.
"I'm really sick of your shit, Frank!" she shouted. She wagged a finger at me and it made her big boobs sway back and forth which was a little distracting. "I work out a lot to try to burn off those extra calories, but it's hard, you know?" She noticed me looking at her boobs. "Besides, the fat makes my boobs bigger. I'm a double D now," she added proudly.
"Yeah, well you look better naked than in clothes, I'll grant you that," I said. "But you can't go to brunch naked."
"Oh you are such an asshole," fumed my wife as she tugged awkwardly at her pant cuffs trying to extract herself from the tight jeans. "Here, help me will you?" My wife laid back on the bed and put her legs in the air so I could pull her jeans off. It was a struggle, but after a few sharp tugs the pants came off of her and I fell back against the closet door.
"I was afraid we were going to have to cut these off of you, chubs," I told my wife. I wiped my brow dramatically from the exertion.
"Dammit Frank, lay off me, will you?" complained Cindy. She went over to the mirror and looked at herself. She unhooked her bra and her massive jugs came flopping out. They certainly were big now. Then she pulled her panties back off and turned to look at her ass in the mirror. She slapped it playfully. "Look at that ass, nice and firm still. No cellulite. A lot of guys would go for this big booty. But not you. You never take advantage of it anymore."
I grimaced at my wife's mention of our diminished sex life. "Well I like you a little thinner," I said. But the fact was that Cindy still looked fine, I couldn't' say why our sex life had petered out exactly. Maybe it was fading hormone levels or just that we were too familiar to each other after all these years together.
"Oh, yeah, so it's MY fault," snapped Cindy angrily. She turned to face me and I looked over her pale naked body and felt my member stiffen slightly. I needed to figure out a way to calm her down so I could proposition her for sex after all. She was sexy when she was angry like this. But Cindy ignored my ogling and went into a rant. "Well, you know what? A lot of guys like fat women you know. Plenty of guys," she was practically sputtering now. I knew I was in trouble.
"Yeah, well," I said noncommittally. I saw my prospects for sex fading as her anger built. "Mexicans and black guys maybe."
Cindy stopped short. "Mexicans and black guys. Nice. I think that's just a stupid stereotype, Frank."
"No, I don't think so," I said, warming up to the topic. "I think those dark skinned guys are all into fat women. Different cultures have different standards for beauty."
Cindy looked at me skeptically for a moment, and I could see her anger fade a bit. She rubbed her belly thoughtfully. Then the sound of a leaf blower erupted outside our bedroom window. The landscapers had arrived to work on the lawn. Cindy went to the window and pulled back the curtain to peek out. "Hmm, these landscapers look like they might be Mexican," she said.
I got a weird feeling in my gut. "Uh, you better keep those curtains closed. You are still naked, honey."
"What? Are you embarrassed that other men would see what a fat wife you have?" she asked me.
"Come on, Cindy, it's not like that," I said nervously. I didn't like where this was headed.
"Maybe we should test this theory about Mexican beauty standards?" suggested Cindy. She had a devilish gleam in her eye as she drew back the curtain suddenly and stood boldly in the window with arms raised. She was offering up her naked body for display to the workmen out back and I nearly had a heart attack. My pulse was pounding in my ears. And for some reason, my nascent erection bloomed into a full fledged hardon as my wife exposed herself.
I jumped up and rushed to the window and looked out over my wife's shoulder. A short, brown skinned guy was staring up at her with his mouth hanging open. I think his name was Carlos or maybe Juan. He had been weeding in the bushes outside our bedroom window when my wife had drawn back the curtains suddenly, catching his eye. Cindy waved at him with a friendly smile and he raised his hand, in confusion, looking at me guiltily. I dragged my naughty wife back away from the window.
"For Chrissake, Cindy, get a grip on yourself," I cried. "What's gotten into you?"
"I'm sick of you putting down my figure all the time," she pouted. "I want some positive attention for a change." She pulled away from me petulantly and ran out of the room.
"Jesus, where are you going?" I yelped. "Cover yourself up, woman. At least put on a bathrobe." I chased after my wife, but she just cackled with laughter as she sprinted toward the back door.
"I'm going out back to see what these Mexican guys think of my body," she called over her shoulder. And sure enough, the little slut threw open the back door and strode totally nude out into the yard where the workmen were gathered. I must have really pushed her too far this time.
"Mamacita!" cried Carlos. He jumped to his feet and came running over to ogle my wife's naked body.
The leaf blower and the lawn mower both sputtered to a halt as the other two workmen shut down their machines and stood gaping at my naked wife as she waved at them from the back porch. I didn't know the other two guys' names. I only ever dealt with Carlos.
"Cindy, get back inside! Have you lost your mind?" I yelled. I grabbed my wife's arm, but she jerked out of my grip and stuck her tongue out at me.
"I just want to ask you boys a favor," my wife called out to the stunned workmen. "Can you give me your honest opinion about my body? Do you think I'm too fat?" My wife ran her hands up and down her sides seductively while the brown skinned workmen's eye grew wide with amazement.
"What the fuck you talking about?" asked Carlos in confusion as he stepped closer. His eyes were fixed on my wife's huge swaying tits. His pals came forward as well. They wanted a better view of my wife's naked body too.
"My husband thinks I'm too fat," said Cindy. My wife pouted her lips at the workmen dramatically. "But he said Mexican guys like fat women, is that right?"
"We're from Guatemala, but yeah, you looking pretty fine to me," said Carlos. "What you guys think?" His two pals nodded vigorous agreement.
"It's not cool to call your woman fat, man," offered the tall skinny guy who had been leaf blowing. He gripped his crotch as he kept his eyes glued to Cindy's body. "She's hot as fuck, dude."
My wife blushed and tilted her chin down bashfully. "Do you guys really think I look nice? How about my butt, though? Isn't it too big?" My wife turned and presented her bare white ass to the workmen, wagging it back and forth provocatively.
"Cindy, cut the shit," I said. But her ass wagging had set her knockers swinging as well and I was mesmerized by her pendulous tits swaying back and forth.
"Baby, I would tap that ass with a quickness," said the tall guy. He was practically jerking his dick through his pants.
"Easy Jose, you gone fuck up our contract," Carlos hissed, giving me a worried look.
"Fuck it Carlos, it would be worth it lose some business to get a piece of that fine ass," insisted Jose fiercely.
"Oh, I wouldn't let my husband fire you boys, don't worry," said Cindy.
"Cindy!" I complained.
"Shush, you," demanded my wife. "You are learning a valuable lesson right now. Other men find me attractive you know. It's something you should keep in mind before criticizing me."
"I wouldn't put you down, baby," said Jose through gritted teeth.
Cindy put her finger in her mouth seductively. "What have you got there in your pants, Jose?"
"I got a big old boner for you," he said breathlessly. He was panting from excitement at the sight of my wife flaunting herself for him.
"Let me see it," coaxed my wife.
"Hey now!" I complained. But Jose ignored me as I stood by indecisively, and he whipped his junk right out. His big brown penis stood at attention, poking proudly from his unzipped jeans.
