I met my wife for coffee at the local Starbucks one Saturday afternoon. I noticed that she was clasping her jacket closed even though it wasn't very cold out that day, but I didn't mention it.
"Jeez, I always see these same two kids working whenever we come in here," I commented as we waited in line.
"Oh, I know, Jeremy and Matthew. They are sophomores at the state university," she said with a knowing smile.
"How do you know so much?" I asked, arching my brow in surprise.
"Oh, I'm always in here chatting with the boys behind the counter. I love to tease them. They call me a cougar," she said, tossing her hair flippantly.
"You must get a kick out of that," I said with a condescending smile.
"Oh, I do. An old lady like me can use all the attention she can get," said my wife, pouting prettily.
"Ah, you are still a bombshell," I told her with a kiss on the cheek. And she is. No one can believe that she is in her mid forties, everyone thinks she's still in her thirties.
As we approached the front of the line and it was our turn to be served, my wife turned to me conspiratorially and whispered, "Watch this."
"Hello, Margaret, can we get your latte started?" asked the one named Jeremy. He was a tall, fresh faced young guy with a pale complexion and rosy cheeks.
"Why yes, you can, young man," said my wife, dropping her jacket open nonchalantly and thrusting her chest forward to reveal that she was wearing nothing but a flimsy camisole with no bra. Her generous boobs jiggled invitingly, cleavage exposed, her stiff nipples clearly visible through the sheer fabric. Jeremy's eyes bulged out of his head as he stared unabashedly at my wife's amazing rack on full display and I almost broke out laughing in spite of my shock and embarrassment.
"Jesus, Margie, what do you think you are doing?" I muttered under my breath.
"I like extra milk," said my wife, ignoring me and shimmying her shoulders to make her tits bounce provocatively.
"Milk," repeated Jeremy stupidly, his mouth hanging open as he gaped at my wife's chest. Wearing nothing but that camisole really was shameless of her. It left practically nothing to the imagination.
"Jeremy, why are you staring at my chest like that?" asked Margaret with an impish smile. "Are you paying attention? Matthew, come here please, I don't think Jeremy is understanding my order."
"You always get the same thing, Margaret, we know how you like it... holy shit," said Matthew as he joined Jeremey at the register and got an eyeful of my wife's tittage.
"You boys are making me uncomfortable with the way you are staring at my breasts," said my wife, pinching her nipples for them distractedly.
"Cut the crap, Margie, other guys are starting to notice," I whispered looking around nervously as a couple of construction workers in their fluorescent yellow and orange vests were craning their necks to get a better look at my wife as she was showing off her knockers for the young baristas.
"Um," said Matthew and then he was silent, his face reddening with his eyes locked on my wife's nipples as she tweaked them and made them stiff and erect.
"I guess I didn't realize I was staring," admitted Jeremy With a great show of will, he pulled his eye up from the my wife's tits and looked her in the eyes.
"I mean, you are looking at me, so, so sexually," breathed my wife, her cheeks were getting flushed and she fanned herself dramatically with one hand while she put her other hand on her belly and lifted the front of her camisole up to expose her navel.
"Jesus, Margaret," I hissed, turning to smile awkwardly at the two women in line behind us who were frowning judgmentally at my wife's little game.
"I uh, didn't mean anything by it," stammered Jeremy, licking his lips unconsciously as he eyed my wife's belly button.
"Well, you and Matthew are staring at me as though you wanted to FUCK me," murmured my wife softly, leaning forward so they could hear her and treating them to a nice view down the front of her shirt.
"That's enough, Marge," I said finally, dropping a five on the counter and hustling her away from the register.
She just giggled and pulled her coat closed as the two women behind us shook their heads in disapproval. Jeremy snapped back to attention and started taking their order.
"What the hell has gotten into you?" I asked wife, struggling to keep my voice down as the construction workers eyed us with interest.
"Oh, Todd, don't be like that," she sniffed, tossing her head and making her long brown hair swirl behind her. "Why can't I have a bit of fun now and then?"
"You are going to give those two kids a pair of boners," I said, shaking my head.
"Well, that won't kill them," she said, looking the two baristas over judiciously as they scurried about behind the counter, preparing coffee drinks. "They seem healthy enough."
"Well, it's embarrassing me," I admitted. "And other people are noticing your hijinx." I jerked a thumb at the construction workers.
"Bah, that show wasn't for them," said my wife, glancing over her shoulder with disdain as she clasped the front of her coat closed.
"Err, here is your, um, latte, Margaret," said Matthew, putting the paper cup on the counter. He was about to scurry away, but my wife lunged forward and grabbed his hand. Her coat fell open exposing her thinly clad chest again.
"Matthew, the naughty way you and Jeremy looked at me just now made me feel very dirty," breathed my wife, fixing the young man with a smoldering stare. He glanced down involuntarily at her boobs as she accosted him. "See, there you go, staring at my breasts again," she said huskily. "I think you and Jeremy need to come over to my house after your shift and make it up to me."
"What?" croaked Matthew, his voice cracking with shock.
"Yes, I don't see any other solution," said my wife, scribbling our address on a receipt sitting there and pushing it toward him.
"Wow," was all the kid could say as he took up the receipt and stared at it. Jeremy appeared suddenly looking over his shoulder.
"I expect to see both of you boys at that address promptly after your shift is over," said my wife. "You can't just get me all hot and bothered like that and then do nothing about it." She took up her drink and spun away as they stared at her incredulously. Then they looked at me but I just shrugged in confusion.
My wife strode right past me and out of the coffeeshop, leaving her coat open so that the construction workers could get a good look at her tits. I scurried after her in amazement.