A Borrowed Wife The Covid Camper Ch 08

...Simply put, our spontaneous lovemaking on the morning of hubby's official acceptance was off the charts magnificent, so apparently another generous gift of sorts from my stranded hubby, possibly intended to make this easy on me, or should I say on us. Yes, there would be obvious details to be sorted out, but full submission to this new reality, therefore no intentional conflict to aggravate such discussions, his goals in life utterly consistent; to do his very best by me every day of his life, in a selfless demonstration of devotion and love that few could emulate.

A fair part of that magnificent lovemaking was obviously Ken's doing, he's a skilled lover that knows my body well, and with this knowledge he took me almost all the way "there" time and again while staring into my eyes lovingly; until of course he permitted me to have my eventual epic big O. It was maddening being held down so firmly, struggling like that under his powerful teasing body, but simply incredible all at the same time when I finally went over the top. I'm talking about my vision narrowing and nearly blacking out, like a near medical emergency, all while tremoring and howling like I was a teen again in the backseat of my future husband's car. Yes, hubby used to rock my world like that himself, sometimes by going down on me until I was "orgasm-drunk" and left babbling incoherently. It's like it was his goal back then to make every time with me a "best-ever," which was obviously impossible, but such was his devotion then as well. So in short, hubby's devotion was the constant, the variable in this little human calculation was how it was to be delivered going forward...

Then there was Ken's subtle attitude shift, from a "friend's with benefits" more playful posture, to one of ownership and possession, for lack of better terms. I'd told him several times over our long and circuitous history not to ask, to just do, but with hubby properly accounted for it seemed more naturally intuitive for him to do so now; literally nobody was in his way. So my conclusion was that this was obviously quite different this time for Ken as well, different and better, and it's not lost on me either that Ken as well is trying to make every love-making event a best ever himself. But to be clear, nothing is really evil here, it's just one man's natural superiority in working my body, as if playing a fine musical instrument better than the original owner ever could...

So at the very start of this proposed adventure I actually considered myself a "borrowed wife," perhaps some could argue foolishly so. But this has since turned into something much more than that, at some point hubby was really pushing to give even more, and feeling that vibe myself I took more as well. Ken has been asked to up his own game too, so he's taking more as well, his attitude is one of entitlement now, which is quite far from where we started a few weeks earlier with him. One could also argue that such loving "seeds" could only flourish so rapidly in the perfect fertile environment, but hubby had played his part in building that too. So overall I think it's fair to say that the feeling this time, both specifically here, and one-on-one alone with Ken was different, deeper, more emotionally connected. I already loved Ken at the start of all this, but I felt myself falling in love with him now, although to explain that distinction with words on a page is difficult.

In the strictest form of the word, you "borrowed" something with permission, something you also intended to give back, but I think Ken and I are past any pretense of giving back now, at least any time in the near future. Hubby offered, (some may argue foolishly so) and Ken took that offer, it would be hard to blame Ken here, most especially in his present otherwise bleak situation. In my mind there's simply nothing to be blamed for anyway, hubby by his own words is good with this kind of physical sharing, and he's wise enough to realize that my love for Ken can't help but to bloom in such fertile conditions. If you take the emotional turmoil out of it, Ken's simply making use of something hubby no longer does, so the height of practicality...

That being said I obviously still love hubby, but I was no longer making love to him, sharing that intense physical link, that specific emotional bond that binds two souls as one. There's still a closeness though, he's still important, but he just doesn't check that lover-box for me any longer. It's so much to work out in one's mind, to the point that I feel as if there are two of me within this single conflicted body, fighting for control over each other; the loving hubby-wife version vs the now-entitled Ken-version. That being said though, I still believe there's enough room in my heart for more than one man, it's just that both can't occupy the exact same parts at the exact same time; and the lover part of my heart already has a new paying tenant now, one that's already moved in and comfortable.

So fair to say it was a bit more firmly Ken and I from that day on, the lost, or more accurately "discarded" keys both symbolic, and suggestive of a singular likely future; no matter any future medical resolutions. I was Ken's, and he was exclusively mine for the rest of this honeymoon-like vacation of ours. A honeymoon purchased by my actual husband, to eventually be used by another man to romance me away from him; yup, no irony there at all. If hubby had planned it, he could't have planned it any better, assuming his true objectives were parallel to Ken's and my own. Fair to say that hubby wasn't the least bit unintelligent, so this assumes this specific outcome is one he wished for as well, or at the very least anticipated.

There would be no "official" divorce and remarriage to awkwardly explain away to friends and family this way either, (we were both adamant on that) so more of a "soft" change in status for my husband that really started incrementally over a year earlier. So barely perceptible from the outside of our relationship, and therefore no public humiliation, and no wealth to divide either. Six months from now one man would likely be living as if my actual husband, and the other as something a bit less that that, but still close-by in my life, still both serving and loved. So a new address and new living arrangements too, (Ken was right about that part) on the surface it's all so easy. Soft words, smiles, playful loving banter, all of that was still possible with both men under such conditions, it's just that one man would be sharing my bed and a bigger piece of my heart; and the other would still share my legal last name, so a very big chip of sorts left on the table should this game with Ken go south at some later date.

On that subject, Ken simply didn't maintain romantic relationships long term, it was a well established habit of his since his teens; this was therefore a wise insurance policy for myself, as I didn't want to be old and alone myself one day either. I kind of wish I had thought all this up myself, but the gentle loving hand of hubby was felt here as well, nudging Ken and I together, maybe in a way topping from the bottom. Hubby's easy conflict-less submission to Ken replacing him in my bed would secure his place in my life forever, and should it become necessary in the distant future, when either Ken or I got sick of this "marriage-less marriage" arrangement, hubby would still be there...

So my mind is obviously all over the place here, attempting to provide structure and order to the chaos that's going on in the background for me. However, back in our hubby paid-for room, Ken and I have made all the love we can by this point as it's nearly noon, a dozen "I love yous" sincerely shared, softly and lovingly. But the close snuggling, (while rather magnificent all on it's own) that needs to end so I can get a shower. Ken needs one too, and there are other things to do down here in paradise in the few days we have left, besides making love; funny that such a thought should pop into my head at this late point in the game though...

I've been properly sated once again, my love for Ken as well on full and sincere display, but this allows my mind to function a bit more logically, seeing Ken's few deficiencies in this new light. It's not that Ken is one dimensional, a one trick pony, it's just that this kind of loving physical intimacy has been missing in his life too, and now that he finally has it he's apparently not letting go, either physically by holding me tight in the literal moment, or in any other way...

So Ken maybe has to learn some new "husband" tricks going forward though, to broadened his appeal for me. I hadn't noticed this myself until I'd spent this kind of one-on-one time with him, but honeymoons are like that I suppose. So for a second, and hopefully last time in my life, it's like I'm constructing a second custom-fit man, polishing the rough edges so he was as comfortable as possible to be around. So this obviously isn't a straight up passive character trait on my part, but at this age I both know what I want, and what I don't want too. I also have to be careful here, I already have one custom-fit passive man in my life, and I'm mindful of the errors in that path I took myself. So not a repeat, a carbon-copy duplication of a man, I hardly need a second exactly like the first, and really Ken doesn't do passive all that well either, and the conflict in that would eventually become ugly.

So, here I'm more thinking of the things that settled husbands and wives do that don't involve sex; as Ken has the intimacy thing pretty much all worked out already. He's also a friend though, we're already social with each other, so bridging this minor gap from good friend to something quasi-spousal should be easy, but old dogs and new tricks and all of that. Then of course is the established fact that Ken doesn't do marriage well, or really any long-term romantic relationships, something to tweak a bit if I'm to keep him for the duration myself. In my mind I give it somewhere between five and seven years; if I can't improve what others have discarded.

Such deep ponderances aside we eventually find ourselves dressed vacation-nice, and we head down to the front desk. We're looking for some lunch suggestions, as we've pretty much made love right through the normal breakfast hours, but truthfully there are worse ways to spend a lazy morning in bed with a new, old man. Really that's not fair, he's pretty much the same man I've known forever, just with a new role to grow into himself.

Cathy and Henry are at the desk looking for a lunch suggestion themselves, perhaps fate (or something else) bringing us together. There is no hiding that a great deal has already happened this morning between Ken and I, both in bed, which they may be perceptive enough to realize, and of course my lifted burden with hubby pretty much officially giving me away to Ken, all with his perceived blessing.

We decide on the fly to do a foursome for lunch, Henry looking tan and good himself, and Cathy simply couldn't look bad in anything even if she worked at it. So sun dresses and sandals for us, and shorts and golf shirts for the boys. Now to be fair, Ken was a managing tradesman that still worked with his hands, and he therefore fills his shirt out like Henry never could, like hubby couldn't either though. He's truthfully a gentle giant of a man, but gentle by choice, not necessity.

This is more like "it" to me, like what normal couples do socially all the time, and the conversations are natural too, other than that our new friends don't seem to be pushing for details on our relationship. "Did they figure out that there were some secrets here best left unsaid? Perhaps maybe realizing that their selected 'pet' name was for no animal?" I wondered.

So seated at this little sushi-bar Cathy tells me she envies my courage, as in my skinny-dip adventure on the public beach, telling me she and Henry swim in the buff all the time in her pool, in private though. "I'm forming a naughty little picture in my mind with those words, wondering if Henry has tan lines himself, wondering what it might be like to get sunburn on that particular appendage." Chemistry with young Henry just isn't there for me at all though, I'm hardly in the market with Ken there filling that void for me too, but a woman can still look and appreciate the human form. That being said, Cathy says she wishes she had the courage to do that a bit more publicly herself, on the clothing optional beach, but down here where pretty much nobody knows her.

I tell her she looks fabulous, that if I looked like her I'd do it. Ken's ever so slightly nodding his head in agreeance, but so was Henry, so it wasn't exactly pervy of Ken, as I'm pretty sure he'd like to appreciate her human form as well, if given the chance. Now that "I'd do it" part is stretching the truth a bit, because when I was around her age myself I had a fleeting desire to dance in a strip club on amateur night, as a dare, pretty much getting middle aged men excited by perving on college aged girls stripping down to a G-string on stage, and then likely going home to their wives and girlfriends to have some fun. This was also back before viagra was a thing too though. It was purported to be very good money for very little actual "work." Truth be told it would have been a huge turn-on for me even without the money, but I didn't have the courage, nor the bodily confidence either. So in the big scheme of things that was a bit of a regret, and maybe deep down I want to prevent Cathy from having any similar regrets like these herself when she's my age.

Ken for his part is playing it very cool, but I know him, and he'd be lying if he said that seeing hard-body Cathy in her skin wouldn't do something for him. Now Henry, he's trying to play it cool too, and I've already decided that he's a proper gentleman, but Ken did slip and tell me that Henry playfully offered to bring my suit to me when I was stranded out in the water the other morning, to which Cathy purportedly gave him a look as if to say "I'll bet you would!"

The pair had a laugh over that, but in the end, by Ken's own account, he decided to bring my suit out to me himself, as he thought my toleration might be getting stretched a bit thin by his naughty prank; which he'd be correct in assuming by the way. Now I don't know that I'd be jazzed up about Ken getting all naked with Cathy there, nor really myself either, in my case for easy bodily comparison to this very fit twenty-five year old hard-body; not to mention something about that feels very wrong. Although hypocritically I wouldn't mind Henry in the buff at all, I could so look at that all day long! Henry was actually built a bit like hubby was back in the day, (so another touchstone to my youth) and trust me, hubby was quite the package back then; not ever as muscular as Ken was, but nice to look at... and obviously nice to play with too. Great legs, hubby's always had great legs.

So Cathy is half-asking here, but in such a way that I can easily say no. I get the feeling that Cathy hasn't had to deal with a great many "nos" in life, but just look at her! It's also a nice potential little mental detour from my conflicted hubby-thoughts though, (and Henry's similar body type is kind of distracting too) and to be honest, on the nude beach with hard-body Cathy nearby it's almost like nobody would be looking at me anyway. Sunning down low on the beach, or swimming? I suppose it makes all the difference, as in walking the gauntlet all the way to the water, swimming for a bit with the other nude bathers, male and female, and then coming back out again and finding Ken and Henry, doing it that way would be so much more exposure. All those eyes taking us in, and here I was apprehensive about wearing a conservative bikini just the other day, one that hubby could wear somewhat convincingly himself, if of course he kept his little device tucked. So in my mind more evidence of how much has changed in a little over a week of all Ken, all the time.

"Is Ken very good for me, or a bad influence?" Time will tell I suppose, but to be fair here Ken and I, together, are a naturally mischievous pair...

So it's assumed by me that the three have discussed this already, and the only real time for such would have been when I was distractedly nude and trapped in the water, and that makes this a bit of a conspiracy. If hubby were here instead he'd want me to decide, or he'd deduce what I really wanted to do and form an argument for said action. And if it went wrong, he'd take the blame.

"It's something to ponder a bit deeper, when I have more time for such" I tell myself.

Ken's here in hubby's place though, and I want something different than what I've had in the past, so I want Ken to "man-up" and tell me what to do here, not in every circumstance to be sure, but in this particular case to give me mental cover if it doesn't turn out well. Here's where I want to do Ken's bidding, because deep down I'd like to have this off my bucket list, to be "made" to do it though, almost like him stealing my bikini earlier, as in no choices here we go...

...Wrap your belt around my wrists and bind me to the bed, or even hold me down and take your manly liberties while I mock struggle; no choices there either, so the well established pattern should be obvious to Ken, as in make me do the things you know I want to anyway...

I look at Ken, he looks at me, but he needs words to really know what I want, although he gets points for looking, and for caring too. So not a hubby-level connection, yet, but there's plenty of time to work on that part, it's a long-term relationship that I'm after here, not a summer fling. Hubby and I grew into the loving relationship we have over time; so it doesn't happen in a day for anybody, it takes work to both create it, and maintain it.

"More things to ponder when I have a bit of down-time."

"Make me do it" I tell Ken softly with a naughty smile, living in the vacation-mindset moment, suppressing those nagging deeper thoughts about my sequestered husband. Both Cathy and Henry are looking on with raised eyebrows, learning something about our unique dynamic perhaps. Ken is alpha, and I've just reminded our friends of this, that I maybe appreciate this aspect of his character in an instinctive base way, that it has it's place in a loving relationship. So if Cathy or Henry somehow thought we were equals, perhaps this tells her that there are also times when we're not, that this works for us. Now her natural assumption here is likely that this has worked for us "forever," where the reality is that we're working out some of those relationship details ourselves, in real-time right before their eyes.

"Okay" Ken tells me.

"When?" I ask with same smile. It feels good to have this decided for me, and in my mind I think hubby might be feeling something similar himself. At times hubby requires a firm hand himself, it's obviously liberating for him, and here as well I see the similarities in myself. A secondary consideration is I'm not hubby's high-maintenance problem any longer, I'm somebody else's.

Ken tells me "soon," and Cathy just looks so alive, like this actually is going to happen, like she wants to jump up and kiss Ken right there in the restaurant; so some very serious gratitude, all while Henry seems to be taking mental notes. This is Ken's master-class, domination 101, as in when it's appropriate, and when it's not. A one hundred percent dominant man, in every situation under the sun, is an ass, at least in my humble opinion. A properly balanced confident man has to be able to turn it on and off, dial it in precisely for any given situation. Yes, there will be mistakes made, nobody is perfect, to obviously include myself.