When the Flame Dies

It is such a sad occurrence when people are too introspective. Madison had been dating Lucas since her junior year in high school. They were both moderately religious so sex was not on the table.

Lucas was nineteen when he graduated. He had not particularly distinguished himself as far as grades went but he excelled in shop and automotive electives. He had helped his father restore old automobiles since he was very young. They were not expensive show autos. Mostly junkers. His dad traded out his mechanic skills for such things as painting and upholstery. He would sell some of the restored models but it was in no way a money making business. Just a hobby. Lucas and his dad had a plan for him to enter trade school. After a year, he would hope to be placed in an apprenticeship while he finished the final two years of the curriculum.

Lucas was not what you would call 'handsome' but he had some 'cute' qualities. While not a weakling, he was 5'-7' tall and weighed around 140#. His muscles were more wirey than bulky. Some of Madison's friends felt like she could do better but they usually kept that to themselves.

Like most teenage girls, Madison was hypersensitive about her body. She thought her nose was too narrow and she compared herself to a presurgical Jennifer Gray. Her friends thought she was nuts for feeling that way. Several had told her that her face looked like what Jennifer's face should have looked after her surgery. For everyone agreed that Jennifer Gray went too far trying to look like someone else.

Sometimes when Madison looked into the mirror, she saw what the friends were talking about. She had to admit that her narrow nose did indeed complement a real million-dollar smile. Still, vanity being what it is, she lumped this self-complaint into a wider body image. She stood 5'-4" with nice pretty legs. She thought she was fat. She weighed around 130#. Compared to the stringbean cute blondes who were so popular at school, she was larger. But not fat.

She thought her breasts were too large. She wore a 34F bra. Ninety-nine percent of the girls in her school would kill to have boobs that big. Her waist was too big, she thought. Okay, refer to the stringbean theory. She knew her ass was too full. Again, some friends had given up trying to convince her how pretty she actually was. Many called her a vain bitch and said they would love to trade bodies with her. She would usually smile and hug the dear friend for support and try to count her blessings instead of feeling insecure. Madison had a near 'peaches and cream' complexion with just a few nose freckles to add to her cuteness.

Part of Madison's image problem was that her family seemed to always be in crisis. Her older brother was a drug user and alcohol abuser. He had dropped out in tenth grade and worked in an auto quick lube shop while living at home and driving her and her parents crazy. Gary, the brother, would get arrested occasionally. At first it was probation. Later it was juvenile detention. As he got older it was the county agricultural jail. All the while, his parents tried counseling, rehab, love, tough love, etc. It was all a lost cause.

This caused the inevitable rift in the family. Mom wanted to be too caring for Gary and Dad thought he should pay the consequences. It took a toll on everyone. It was a textbook co-dependency situation. Eventually, the parents began fighting and blaming each other for Gary's problems.

Instead of enjoying her high school years, Madison was enduring them. She had perfect grades. She was not the most popular girl in school partly because she didn't seek outside attention in groups. She did participate in sports and academic activities but one wouldn't say she was outgoing more than average.

Occasionally, her mom would offer a tearful apology to Madison for not being there for her during Gary's troubles. She would try to assuage her mother's guilt by telling her the normal girl things. She would try to keep her mom updated on her school studies and social activities. She knew her father loved her but between his job, the conflict always present with her brother and the rising tensions between her parents, Dad became more depressed and elusive.

In most respects, Madison was almost the perfect child. She turned eighteen around Thanksgiving of her senior year. She and Lucas were trending toward a more physical relationship. Lucas wanted to take her virginity as soon as possible, but she was able to get him to compromise. He would get him off with a hand job and later learned the sweet art of fellatio. Lucas, of course, loved the blow jobs. Madison had held him somewhat in check, finally allowing him to remove her top and caress her big breasts. When he talked her into finally removing her bra, he was total mesmerized by the beautiful fullness of her bust and the pretty areolas and nipples which topped the orbs.

With both of them out of high school yet still living at home, they committed to marriage when they could afford it. That seemed to pave the way for intercourse to happen. They were both inexperienced but also energetic. Lucas wanted sex every time they were together. She loved sex also but was more practical, admonishing him to pay attention to his studies and his job. For her part, Madison had an entry level job and was going to night school for an accounting degree.

She started out as a receptionist for a large machinery manufacturer. Luckily, they lived in an energy capital. Jobs were plentiful and most paid higher than the national average. Even Lucas' apprenticeship job paid very well. Madison was soon recognized by many people in the administrative wing of the company. While still so young, she impressed people who asked her to do some work while she greeted people and answered the phones. She would never admit it but a lot of the attention was from males. Her personality and physical assets began to make the gossip at the water coolers.

One day the company president stopped by on his way in and started a conversation with her. He happened to ask about her background. She filled him in just a little and mentioned that she was going to night school. When he inquired what her studies involved, she told him she was an accounting major. A couple of weeks later, she was called to HR. She worried all the way there. What had she done?

The department head told her that the president had talked to her about moving Madison to the accounting department. That way, while she was taking her classes at the local college, she could be getting some practical experience working for the company accountants.

The couple tied the knot in May. Madison was nineteen and Lucas was twenty. They had a small apartment and made enough money to live comfortably, though austerely. Having already consummated the union physically, they were more comfortable and adventurous after the wedding. Living on their own released any pent-up frustrations sexually. The freedom was intoxicating.

They had sex five or six times a week. Lucas loved to see her scantily dressed. Getting used to that took a little time but they were in love and Madison soon felt comfortable displaying herself. He especially liked it when he thought she had 'accidently' been caught with her panties down, so to speak.

The little streak of private exhibitionism seemed to awaken the sense of adventure in Madison. She began to notice how men looked at her. She never got much thrill out of that when she was younger. The silly introspective self-criticism had kept her more reserved. She did know that guys noticed her tits but she thought they made her look fat. As she blossomed sexually, she learned to love her body. Big tits, nice ass. Lucas loved her. He did seem to get more possessive as time went by, though. He noticed when other guys checked her out. She even had to stop him a couple of times from confronting guys who seemed to be leering at her.

After about six or seven months, the sex decreased in intensity and frequency. On top of that, Lucas was not well endowed. Actually, he was just over four inches when erect. Madison had been able to orgasm when they had sex but usually it was with a little help from her finger on her clit. Lucas seemed to be oblivious to this. Not that he was a total dummy. He did love her and thought that sex was as good for her as it was for him. He was not a heavy cummer and never ever did he fuck her more than once in a session.

When the intensity began to wane, Madison first became a little frustrated. They were, however, both working and taking classes, so she passed it off to being physically and mentally tired. They still did things together like going to the movies and out to eat. As Lucas paid less attention to her appearance, she began dressing in more vanilla jeans and cotton top type apparel. He didn't seem to notice the difference.

One day when Madison had a night class, she had some shopping to do which didn't allow her to go home and change into more casual clothes for class. She was in a purple dress with a moderate hemline. She was wearing four-inch heels. Her makeup at work was usually subtle as was appropriate for the corporate setting. Since she was dressed nicely, she stopped by the ladies room before she left and touched up her lipstick a little heavier than normal. She also re-worked her eyelashes and puffed a little makeup powder to make everything match.

She caused a little stir at class. Several of her classmates, both male and female, complimented her on her classy dress. She blushed at the attention and explained that she hadn't had a chance to go home after work. After class, she still had the attention on her mind and noticed on the drive home that her pussy was getting moist in her panties. She realized that they had not had sex in over two weeks. She got hornier as she drove along. She even rubbed her moist pussy through her panties.

She was home a little earlier than her usual class night. Lucas was in bed watching TV. He seemed to be a little nervous when she approached him and kissed him. Without much thought, she began to remove her dress. She was facing him in just her bra, panties, thigh highs and heels. Normally this would provoke him to begin touching her and helping her remove her underclothes. When he didn't get up, she moved back to the bedside and started reaching under the covers. He didn't exactly resist but showed no interest in the foreplay.

"Sorry, Babe." He said. "Just a long day at work and I am very tired."

"Ok, Baby," She answered. "I'll just take a shower and come to bed."

Before turning, she noticed his computer on the nightstand and some tissues beside it. She didn't think much about it and went to the bathroom. She was still horny and managed to get herself off in the shower. She figured her fingers were better than a soft dick. When she came back out in her nightgown, she noticed that the computer was gone as were the tissues. Still, it barely registered on her. She was still somewhat upset but after having cum, she was able to drift off to sleep.

Madison hoped that Lucas would make it up to her on the weekend. They would be off work and except for some studying, they would have plenty of time for lovemaking. Friday night came and went without more than a good night peck from him. Saturday was the same. When Sunday was in sundown mode, she dressed in a scanty nightie that showed her ample cleavage and hardly hid her aroused areolas and nipples. Lucas responded but it was not intense at all. It was rather hurried. He stripped the nightie off and mounted her. Thirty seconds later she was left with a little dribble of cum on her vaginal lips. He was off to the bathroom to clean up. She managed to take the cum and rub out an orgasm before she went and cleaned up.

The pattern continued with an occasional spurt of energy from Lucas. Each time he seemed to revive his interest in sex, she would get her hopes up. Inevitably, his interest would wane again and she would be left with her own hands to get off. After two years of marriage, Lucas' classes were finished. He now had a well-paying job as a mechanic for heavy equipment. Madison was doing well with her degree plan. The HR specialist at her work was receiving glowing reports about her work. The whole department thought that she was contributing so much while she was taking classes at night and online.

The increased income would normally make someone think that there would be less pressure on the newlyweds allowing them to be more into sex when they had a chance. In fact, the opposite was happening. Madison had noticed several instances of uneasiness on the part of her husband when she got home earlier than he expected from classes or on errands. It wasn't that he was going out without her either. She didn't see how he could be having an affair. It wouldn't make sense for him to have another woman over while she was in class.

She also didn't think that he had anything physically wrong with him. So, for a while, she was puzzled. Over time, she replayed some peculiar instances in her mind about when he seemed the most nervous. She began to suspect that he might be getting off by masturbation. This bothered her greatly. She was cute. She was sexy. She loved sex. Her physical assets were beyond complaint. But why could she no longer entice her husband into sex.

One day, she was leaving to go to an early class and had forgotten a list of ingredients to make one of the casseroles they liked. She rushed back into the apartment to look for the recipe. When she couldn't find it, she opened Lucas' computer and began an internet search for the recipe. Naturally, when she began typing in the search bar, some of his recent searches came up. It startled her when she saw some topics. She explored a little more and became certain that he spent a lot of time on the computer looking at porn.

She didn't have time to investigate further but she decided to explore his history when she had the opportunity again. It was becoming apparent to her that it was the reason for his lack of interest in sex. It didn't make sense. She would have sex with him almost any time he wanted. She knew from the looks she got from other men and some women that she was desirable. Why would Lucas prefer online porn to making love to her? She wondered if it might be her fault for leaving him alone so many nights and weekends while she was in class or studying.

She finally opened up to one of her friends, Bree. Bree was a neighbor and just a little older than she and Lucas. She didn't go into details but did share that their sex life was getting stale. After some questioning about Lucas' normal desires, she asked about porn. Madison downplayed it but admitted that she thought he was looking at porn. When Bree asked if they looked at porn together, she was embarrassed. She told her that they didn't and that she thought it was silly for naked people acting like they were enjoying the sex while they were just getting paid to fuck in front of a camera.

Bree kind of floored her when she said that she and her husband Keith watched porn together. She said that most guys watch porn at some time or another. Keith liked kinky sex and Bree learned to love it, also. She said she often dressed in sexy lingerie and seduced her husband. Not that he needed any encouragement. Also, they practiced light exhibitionism. Keith loved for Bree to go out in short dresses with no panties. He also loved for her to wear thin tops and no bra. Bree's breasts were B's at best but she had very puffy areolas.

Madison could not have guessed that about Bree. She had never seen her braless. When they had worn bathing suits together, her tops were thick enough that the puffies didn't show. When they got kinky, Bree would wear thin tops with no bra. She said the effect was noticeable on guys. Keith was never jealous when men approached her directly.

Bree even kidded her, "Hell, Maddie. If I had your boobs and ass, Keith would never go to work for wanting to follow me around in public watching other people gawk at me."

This embarrassed Madison even more. She was certainly not a prude. She loved sex. But she guessed there was more to sex than just missionary no matter how often you got it. She asked Bree if she watched porn to just satisfy Keith or if she really got off to it herself.

"Well, I certainly don't crave porn like a man would but it is sexy watching pretty girls getting pounded by huge cocks. I mean, Keith is about average but he is not intimidated when I get excited seeing a big cock. He even loves to watch interracial porn where these huge black guys fuck white girls with gargantuan cocks. It fuels fantasy but that is all we use it for. I mean, we have not practiced swinging or swapping or anything like that. Keith doesn't seem like he loses interest in me even when he watches girls with huge boobs like yours."

The conversation opened Madison's eyes in a lot of ways. She wasn't a prude but never thought about sex in that way. She wondered if she was too uptight which led to Lucas finding a more exciting way to look at sex. Since she had tried to seduce him with sexy clothing sometimes, she wondered if maybe he felt uncomfortable sharing his most erotic feelings with her. She also worried that her upbringing and unhappy home life growing up had caused her to be generally repressed. Bree certainly had no hesitation to share parts of her sex life with her husband. Madison felt like a dam had burst when she even mentioned to Bree that her own sex life was stale.

One thing that came out of her conversation with Bree was that she began feeling more comfortable sharing some details with her. Their friendship grew based on the more open sharing. Madison still had to be probed a little and Bree even started poking fun at her to get her to loosen up more. Bree would invite her to stop in after work and have a drink and talk steamy sex. It wasn't like that but Bree took much pleasure in jerking Madison's chain.

Finding someone to confide in was a blessing for Madison. While sharing and listening helped her psyche somewhat, troubles with her sex life persisted. When her attempts to initiate sex were sometimes rebuffed, she tried to piece together the scenarios that led up to them. It seemed like when Lucas had been home alone, she was most often rebuffed. Having tried to make the first move so many times, she soon tired of the efforts and their relationship sank to the lowest point. She had to act soon.

One night after her class, she came home to find Lucas nervously moving about the apartment. She sensed the energy and asked if everything was okay. He seemed put out that she had any concern about him and asked her why she was so confrontational. This led to an escalation in discord and she finally just let him have it.

"Lucas, are you having an affair?" she stormed at him.

"Are you crazy, Madison. Why would you ask something like that?"

"Because of the way you have been for months. You hardly pay any attention to me anymore. I try to initiate sex and you always seem to find an excuse. Right after we got married, we had sex almost every night. Now, it is once a month at best and not very good at that. So, that's why I ask something like that."

"Maybe you are the one having an affair. I see the way guys look at you. You seem to enjoy the attention, also."

"Oh, and have you seen my interest in sex decline? Have you tried to initiate sex and I rebuffed you? No, sir. I am not the problem. You can have me anytime you wish. Am I no longer attractive to you?"

"Oh, gosh, no, Madison. You are great. I'm sorry. It's just that well, I don't know. Sometimes when you are gone, I think of how good it would be to make love to you. I like, uh, get excited and then have to wait so long that, well, I don't know. It just sort of fizzles when I find something else to concentrate on. I'm sorry, I will try to do better."