Once again, I'd like to thank "Bill" for his thoughts, help, and support.
*
Sitting in jail gives you a lot of time to reflect on your own stupidity. However, I wasn't reflecting on anything except hatred. I was focused on the hatred I had for my boss, my soon-to-be ex-wife Carol, and the hatred for myself for being so fucking stupid.
My name is Michael Arnold. And when I say I was stupid, I mean stupid with a capital S. I was stupid as in the clueless husband who didn't know that his wife was cheating on him. And she was cheating on him with the man I hated most in my life, my boss, Jacob Sanders. I was also stupid because I didn't know that the cheating bitch was pregnant with his child. Stupid me thought the baby was mine.
I guess my wife being pregnant is what precipitated the "honey we need to talk" speech. I suppose I should back up a bit and do a little explaining. Strange as it may seem, my current problems actually started in the first grade.
I first came to know and eventually hate Jacob Sanders when we both entered the first grade together. We have been enemies since he made fun of my freckles. That was the first of many fights. That one ended in a draw as a teacher dragged us apart. I had a bloody nose, and he had a black eye. Over the first eight years of school, Jacob and I averaged about three fights a year, with the third grade being the worst; we had seven fights. However, in the eighth grade, we only had one for a good reason. I kicked the shit out of him.
I didn't want anything to do with Jacob, and I tried to stay away from him, but he wouldn't leave me alone. For some reason, he was jealous of me and was constantly trying to outdo me. He tried to get better grades than me in each of our classes. He was better at science and literature. I was better at math and history. The rest of the subjects, we were about the same. In sports, Jacob was a pretty good athlete, but I was a little better. Nevertheless, if I went out for a sport, Jacob went out for the same one and tried to outdo me.
The fights stopped, as I mentioned, after eighth-grade when Jacob realized that he couldn't beat me. Then he started trying to embarrass me or get me in trouble. He almost got me expelled and arrested while we were in high school. It was in our sophomore year when someone broke into the school and graffitied the hallways. The authorities found my student ID next to an empty spray can in the dumpster. The only thing that saved me was the fact that I'd noticed my ID was missing out of my wallet the day before and reported it.
I knew it had to be Jacob because I had seen him walking away from my locker after practice one day when I came out of the shower. I figured he was up to no good, so I checked everything in the locker. When I got to my wallet, I checked my cash first and then went through the rest of it. That's when I noticed my ID was gone. I went immediately to the front office and reported it.
One time, Jacob had a fart noisemaker. He had put the device in the desk I was sitting at and triggered it. The fart sound blasted through the class, and then Jacob began holding his nose and waving his hand.
"Mike, what did you have for lunch?" he chortled.
The class laughed, but I used the old standby. "He who smelt it dealt it."
The class exploded with renewed laughter, which brought a warning from Miss Wormwood that if Jacob and I continued to disrupt the class, we'd be spending time in detention. Being laughed at and then chastised by our teacher infuriated Jacob. He turned bright red but said nothing.
Besides attempting to get me expelled and perhaps even arrested, Jacob's efforts were more annoying than anything. For the majority of things, I didn't care if he was better than me. Outside of the normal teenage insecurities, I was pretty comfortable with who I was. However, there was one area that I did care about, and that was girls.
Both of us were reasonably good-looking. However, Jacob's family was wealthy, which gave him the edge with the girls in school. He had his own car in the eleventh grade, and it wasn't an old clunker. His parents bought him a BMW Z4, which was a fifty-thousand-dollar car. How could I compete with that?
As it turned out, I was good-looking enough to get my fair share of dates. On the other hand, Jacob was dating the cheerleaders and the girls in the "in-crowd." I figured they were out of my league anyway, so I didn't care. However, he wasn't satisfied with his rarified success with the girls. He had to try to rub my nose in his success. If I dated a girl more than once, Jacob would swoop in and start dating that girl. And it didn't take long for her to drop me.
Even there, for the most part, I didn't care. I wasn't going steady with any of the girls, so if they wanted to date Jacob, it was no skin off my nose. Yet, there was one girl that I really did like. Her name was Sandy Springer, and she was smart, funny, and pretty. So, when I started dating her, I took her to out-of-the-way places so that Jacob wouldn't know that I was interested. After a couple of months of dating, we decided to go steady. I thought if Sandy was wearing my class ring, I was safe. Remember when I mentioned that I was stupid. I was stupid all the way back then too.
With the senior prom coming up, I just assumed that Sandy and I would be going together. I should have asked her right away, but I'm not sure that would have done any good. Anyway, after I purchased the tickets, I mentioned it to Sandy at lunch. She got red and said that she had accepted an invitation from Jacob to go with him. I demanded and got my ring back. Then I left Sandy sobbing in the cafeteria. I never spoke to her again.
I was so pissed at Sandy that I was looking to rip someone's head off. Instead, I saw Pam Taylor, the captain of the cheerleader's squad, and Jacob's supposed girlfriend. Under normal circumstances, I would never have dared approach her.
"Hey, Pam," I said cheerfully, "how are you doing?"
"I'm doing good. How about you, Michael?" She responded. Pam was gorgeous, but she wasn't stuck up.
"I'm doing okay," I said, figuring that I had nothing to lose. "Say, would you like to go to the prom with me?"
"That's very sweet of you to ask," she said kindly, "but I'm going with Jacob."
"Oh," I feigned ignorance. "I must have misunderstood because I just heard that Jacob asked Sandy Springer. I must have got it wrong. Yeah, forget I said I said anything. I'm sure I heard it wrong."
I left Pam flustered and talking to herself. I heard later that she and Jacob had a huge blowup. Maybe he had stolen Sandy from me, but I had messed up his romance with Pam. It wasn't totally satisfying, but it was better than nothing. But later that afternoon, it got a whole lot better.
"Michael," Pam called to me as I was leaving school.
"Hey, Pam," I continued playing innocent. "I'm sorry about upsetting you earlier."
"Cut the crap, Michael," Pam's eyes narrowed. "I found out that you were going steady with Sandy, and that creep, Jacob, stole your girlfriend."
My ears burned red. I had been busted. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I was just trying to get back at Jacob. I'm sorry you got caught in the crossfire."
"Were you serious about taking me to the prom?"
"Do bears," I started to say, "never mind. Yes, I would be thrilled if I could escort you to the prom."