What Ind of Man I Am

Hey Fuckers

Sorry it took so long... sometimes a lot of shit happens. Self edited, deal with it.

The Cast:

Chip - the husband

Joan - the wife

Michele/Chel - daughter

Kixx - son

Matty- Chip's best friend

Jacy- Matty's girlfriend

Laura- Joan's best friend

Monica- Matty's neighbor

Tiffany- Works at Macy's cologne counter

Carrie- Buyer that works for Chip.

Theresa- Mom of Chel's friend Jessica

Kimberly- works for Chip,

Lori- works for Chip. Tall redhead.

*****

Thursday August 24, 2018 One week till the big Divorce Day.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

Fuck. Why do I feel pissed off and sad at the same time?

This is reality. She doesn't love you.

A thousand memories tainted.

"I want to eat out and take a cruise..."

Shut the fuck up!

Keep moving Chip. Keep moving.

I grabbed a bottle of water and swallowed my pills. You know? Now that I think about it, I have had pretty serious morning wood the last few days. Coincidence?

Sunlight hit my face as I walked onto the driveway. God, my eyes feel heavy. Suck it up princess, time to fucking regulate.

I need music.

"...here's where the talking ends Well, listen, this night there'll be some action spent. Drive hard callin' all the shots I got an ace card comin' down rocks." 🎶

I got a fuckin' ace card coming too.

Powering down a large amount of caffeine to keep the gloom away should help. I think a quick stop at for an iced coffee and Monster chaser for later is definitely needed.

I took some long drags on my drink, wiping out half of it in short order. Okay. Feeling a little better.

"Coffee das good." I said.

Caffeine is a magical.

I sprayed some Dolce on before heading into work. Soon to be single right? Seven days. The Jack Bauer clock running in my head.

Once I was settled in at my desk, I wrote a personal to do list for today to stay focused.

1. Lawyer. Need to bring divorce papers, her bank statement, tax returns. Also the copies of the messages and emails. 2. Bank withdrawal. 3. Basketball 7 PM 4. Laura and Joan 5. Pack

The rest of the morning I spent trying to make sure Friday went smoothly without me. That meant no time for fight club or rockin' out.

During lunch, I went to the bank at the grocery store and withdrew another $3000 from savings. Back in the Jeep, I thought about visiting Tiff.

I could use her sunshine, but I think this is a day off for her? Maybe I'll text her from the airport tonight when I can focus better.

I scrambled all afternoon to make sure everyone was lined out and any emails and buys were completed. Carrie seemed to let me have my space since I was a bit stressed.

I packed up the shit that I needed. On the way out, I hammered the punching bag hard.

"This shit is about to get complicated." I said out loud to myself.

A song popped in my head.

"What has happened to it all? Crazy, some'd say. Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away."

🎵

That is depressing but true. Okay, get the leader face on.

"I'll see you guys Monday." I said as I breezed through the bullpen.

Most of the team responded with well wishes. I ran into Carrie in the hallway.

"Hey. Take good care of my business." I said with a smirk.

"I do every night, I mean day... for you." she countered and put her hands on her thighs and leaned forward just a touch.

"Target acquired sir. Toroedo is armed. Permission to fire!" said Cappy

"Oh. Alright. You think you can handle my heat? You're hanging laundry on the line wearing only a short sun dress. Low cut and very, very clingy." I said and ran my finger on my chest showing her how low.

"I just finished chopping wood without a shirt and I came up behind you." I said and then grinned.

"Huuuuh! Chip? What? Um..." She stammered.

Then I reached out and gave her a rib tickle and started walking off.

"Eeek! Chip. Hey? Uummm. What color is the sun dress?" she said smiling.

I just waved and kept walking. Shit! I shouldn't sleep with her. But i really really want to!

"Dude! She is going to be crazy hot in bed! You must face the peril." said Cap.

Oh, I want to. I wonder how she trims her pubic area? Fuck! Got a job to do.

I was full of anxiety driving to the lawyer's office. Matty's incoming text distracted me. I checked it at the stop light.

"Hey fucker. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." he said.

"Sounds good." I replied back.

I waited outside since I was early. I gathered all the stuff I needed to go in with, by then it was 3:50 PM. A few minutes later Matty rolled up in his Explorer. I got out and nodded.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Feels surreal. Thanks for being here man." I shrugged.

"I know. You're welcome. I always got your back Chavez." he said.

We walked in the building and found Mrs. Johnson's suite on the second floor.

"Hi. I'm here to see Mrs. Johnson. I'm Chip Jameson." I said.

"Oh, have a seat and I will let her know you're here." she said as she got up from the desk.

"I'm sorry. What's your name?" I said and smiled.

She was about twenty something. Long brown hair. Damn. Very pretty and had luscious lips. I'm so fucking horny. Shit!

"Oh. I'm sorry. It's Nicole." she said smiling.

"It's nice to meet you Nicole. Thank you." I said and kept eye contact.

Mostly eye contact. Those full lips made me lick my own.

"You're welcome." she said.

Matty was already in a chair doing something on his phone. Oblivious.

Nicole stood there for a couple seconds.

"Oh shit!" she giggled.

"Let me tell her you're here." she said.

"Dude. I think I need to buy you sun glasses or something to wear indoors. Or maybe a prescription for my dick does all my thinking." said Matty without looking up.

Huh.

I turned to face him.

"What the fuck are you talking...?" I never finished the sentence.

Nicole came out smiling like she knew something I didn't. What was that about? Mrs. Johnson right behind her. I assumed anyway.

"Mr. Jameson it's nice to meet you." she said extending her hand.

Wow. She was a beautiful woman. Those lips were just incredibly gorgeous. A sexy and classy walk, how does she even do that?

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Johnson." I said as we shook hands.

"Come on in and we will sit at the conference table. Oh, and it's Miss." she said and directed us to another door.

"Let me get the door Miss... Johnson." I said smirking.

"Oh. Thank you. You can call me Elizabeth." she said and smiled.

"You can call me Chip. Let me get that for you." I said and pulled out her chair.

"Thank you again Chip, I can't call you Chip and then you say Elizabeth. That won't do. Call me Lizzy." she said and sat down smiling.

We all sat down and looked at each other. I could feel Matty grinning and I looked over at him. Yep. I am going to beat his ass.

"Umm. What was I thinking? I lost my train of thought." she said and continued to look at me.

"I could use an iced coffee. I could go get you something. Afternoon pick me up?" I asked.

"Oh that would be wonderful. But I'll ask Nicole to get it." she said and went to the door.

"Nicky. Can you get me a small iced coffee? Chip? What would you like?" she asked with her hip flared out. Argh!

I got up and went to the door where Lizzy and Nicky were. Something about these two, what is it?

"Umm. Are you sure? I can run over and get it. Nicky do you want anything." I said.

Lizzy touched my arm.

"Chip. We will take care of you." she said.

"It's no problem Chip." said Nicky.

"Okay. Thank you so much. I would love an iced French vanilla decaf with cream only. Matty? You want anything? I got it." I said and pulled out my wallet.

"No. I'm good. Thanks." he said with a big smirk.

"Chip. Put your wallet away. That comes much later." she said and grinned.

"Oh. I see. Then I want two coffees and a box of donuts. And a hashbrown!" I said.

"Okay." said Nicky smiling.

"I'm kidding. Just the one coffee." I said laughing.

"So you drink decaf for a pick me up?" she asked.

"You know. It still has quite a bit of caffeine in it. I already have had a shi... um, quite a bit today." I said catching myself.

"I didn't know that. That is really interesting. Oh thank you. You don't have to keep doing that." she said as I held out her chair.

"Don't mind me. I'm Matty. Moral support and body guard." Matty said to Lizzy with a chuckle.

Lizzy looked over at me with a questioning look.

"Wow. Seriously. Can't you shut that off?" said Matty.

What the fuck.

"What?" I said and looked at him confused.

"Is something wrong?" Lizzy asked.

"Oh yeah. It's been dormant for 15 plus years. But the, I don't even know what to call it? I do know you went from Mrs. Johnson to Lizzy in 3 seconds." Matty said nodding his head grinning.

"What does he have?" asked Lizzy truly interested.

"Well. Most of the time he honestly doesn't even know he's doing it. Basically, in a few minutes he can have a woman really, really like him." he said.

"Are you being serious?" she asked Matty.

Oh for fuck's sake.

"Let me ask you this? Chip? He is a smidge above average in looks right. But he's not a head turner or GQ?" Matty continued.

She blushed. Alright I'm putting a stop to this.

"I'm right here. My appointment, remember. Serious business?" I said trying to get control.

"You're only experiencing Chip at low levels. He has already decided you're gorgeous and probably could rattle off three things he really loves about you." Matty continued.

I grabbed where I thought Matty's nipple was and gave him a twister.

"Fucker! That hurt." yelled Matty.

"Matty. Stop. We just met. Spare Lizzy for now. I'm sorry, you'll get use to us. We have been best friends for a long time. Maybe if she comes over for one of your big BBQ's or something. For now, I would like to focus on the divorce." I said.

"Oh yes." said Lizzy like she was coming back into focus.

"You said you have papers and some other things?" she asked.

I gave her the documents and went over everything I handed her. Then I went into the story of us and how I discovered Joan's plot. She asked a lot of questions.

"Okay. I'll look over all this and make copies. Let's talk about what you want. Then will set up a meeting next week before your wife talks to you. I'll have an outline of a plan and then we will go from there. Sound good?" she asked.

"Yeah. At a minimum, I want shared custody. I will take the kids full time if she wants to. We each keep our own retirement funds. We sell the house and split the proceeds from it as well as the checking account. If she stays in the house, she makes the payment while I make payment for my new place. The house payment is around $1500 and the house I will be renting is $1500. We split the kids' expenses 50/50 and the holidays." I said.

She was taking notes and nodding her head.

"If she gets greedy, then we fight dirty. I would like you plan for it just in case. She has the secret account with $25k." I said.

I took a breather and continued.

"Can you respond Friday to her lawyer? I want them on their heels." I said.

"Yes I can. You have given me a nice head start. Based on what we have talked about I would need a $3000 retainer." she said.

"Is it possible to have a charge go through Friday, if I gave you my card?" I asked.

"Absolutely." she said

We talked some more and she told us she would be prepared. I signed the fee agreement and seemed like I was all set.

"Just leave it all to me. Text my cell on Thursday night and tell me what happened. I'll get everything done Friday. Can you come in Tuesday so you're ready?" she asked.

"Yeah, I can do that. Can you see me at say 5pm?" I asked

"Sure. Not a problem. Chip? This may not go smoothly in the beginning. But leave everything to me and relax. Take good care of your kids and yourself." she said.

We all walked out into the outer office and I looked at Nicole again as she got up. I looked at Lizzy and then back at Nicole.

"Lizzy? Is Nicole your daughter?" I asked.

"Yes. How did you know?" she said as both women smiled.

"The lips. They're the same and very sexy. Not that there aren't other sexy things about both of you...Oh shit. Ummm... She's your daughter. I'm sorry. Sometimes I don't think." I said.

Both ladies blushed.

"It's okay." Lizzy said.

"What else is sexy about my Mom?" said Nicole grinning.

"Ladies. He can't help it. I will work with him to help get it under control." Matty countered grinning even bigger than Nicole.

"Lizzy. Nicky. It was great to meet you and I feel very lucky to be here." I said.

Lizzy moved in and gave me a hug. What? I returned it, what else was I supposed to do.

"I'll take care of you Chip." she said.

"Mother daughter Chip..." Cappy whispered.

"I could easily shoot 3 times..."

Don't just don't! La la la la la la la... Not listening!

"Hey? Don't I get a hug too." said Nicky and she came up to me.

What the hell. Why no, that's not a large flashlight in my pocket.

"Your Mom has got a killer walk and those calves. Wow." I whispered to Nicole.

Nicole giggled.

"Thank you ladies. See you next week." I said.

"Enjoy your trip Chip." said Lizzy.

We walked out into the sunlight and stopped.

"Seriously dude. Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch." said Matty shaking his head grinning.

"What. Alright! I can't help it. But it's just a fantastical lucky streak. That's all. It's really weird. It's like the universe is teasing me. Now shut up fucker." I said and smiled.

"You need to get laid. Or at least a blowjob. I know, I know. I'll see you at the game." he said.

I went over to Matty's house and let myself in. I put the $3000 in the safe and stored the pills in the nightstand. I only kept what I need to take for the Vegas trip.

I arrived home and knew the house would be empty. The kids were at their friends and Joan wasn't home yet. The kids were great about letting me know where they were.

I changed into my basketball gear quickly.

The game took my mind off all my problems. I played angry and aggressive most the night. That turned out to help us to a nice win. Anytime I got the ball close to the key, I drove towards the hoop. Which either got me a solid shot or sent me to the free throw line.

Usually I score about 10 points in a game. Tonight, I think I had 20 and a shitload of rebounds.

We sat on the bench dripping in sweat.

"Would have been nice to have a sixth guy tonight? Shit. I think I lost 5 pounds." said Matty.

"Yeah. Thanks for the feeds tonight. So, at your house 9:30 right?" I asked.

"Yeah. You can leave your Jeep there." Matty said.

We headed out for our vehicles.

I checked Joan's location once I was in the Jeep. Yep, she was right where I thought she would be. I started up the Jeep and headed for my destination.

I rolled up slowly on Laura's house. There's the Subaru.

Sweaty? Check. Ruggedly handsome? Kind of. Cologne? Freshen up would be good. Bottle of wine. Check.

I rang the doorbell. Game face Chip. The door opened.

"Chip! What are you doing here? It's good to see you." said Laura kind of loud.

Oh. A warning for Joan. I went to give her a hug.

"Heads up, I'm kind sweaty from playing ball." I said.

"I do love a sweaty man." she said grinning.

I gave her a full-frontal hug and kissed her cheek. She was a good 6 to 7 inches shorter than me.

"You smell good." she said.

"Yeah, I didn't want to stink up your house. Wow, look at you. You look fantastic. You still running?" I asked.

"Yep twice a week. Although I don't think it's shrinking my ass like I want it to." she shrugged.

"Shrink it? Why? It looks great. Let me take better look at it." I said.

I rotated her by the hips and squatted down so her ass was in my face. I really wanted to bite it. Instead I squeezed firmly and then let go.

"I changed my mind. Looks delicious. I want to bite it." I said and grinned.

The white cotton shorts hugging her juicy bottom started the Captain up. She had a conservative top on, so I didn't get to see her classic curvy breasts on display. Her dark skin contrasting with the white outfit. Fuck!

"Chip! Stop it." she giggled.

"Geez. I haven't seen you since the picnic. Right? I missed seeing you. The kids do too." I said.

"You're right. I miss you too. And the kids. What brings you by?" she asked.

"Leaving for Vegas tonight, so I thought I'd swing by and say bye to Joan. Maybe get a quickie in? Conjugal emergency since it's been awhile." I said and winked.

"You have sex on the brain? Come on in. We were in the kitchen having some wine."

Joan met us in the living room with her wine glass.

"Chip. What are you doing here?" said Joan exasperated.

There's the resting bitch face I hate.

"Just wanted to see you before I left. I brought you guys another bottle of wine." I said.

"Oh goodie. Thanks Chip." said Laura taking the wine.

Joan sat down on the couch looking pissed off.

"Chip, you want anything to drink?" Laura asked.

"No thanks." I said.

Laurie sat down on the other side of the couch.

"You guys going to get ripped tonight and tell stories of your sordid sexual experiences in college at the sorority?" I said raisinf my eyebrows.

"Chip!" yelled Joan.

Laura snorted a little. I went over and sat on Joan's lap.

"Chip! You know I don't like you all sweaty." she cried.

"But I'm leaving babe. I could shower here while you guys get sloshed. When I come out, I expect both of you naked and ready to for fun." I said.

"What?" Joan fumed trying to push me off.

Futile. Although I was down to 190 pounds, she couldn't budge me. Laura was giggling.

"He's joking Joan." said Laura trying to hold it together.

"Got a lot of stuff saved up. Are you sure? I think I can handle both of you. Laura do you have coconut oil? And I'll need two bananas." I said confidently.

I gave a smooch to Joan's lips before she could turn away. Wanted to get some sweat on her and play the dumb husband.

"Chip! Get off!!" she yelled.

"Well, I got to get going if I'm not going to get some action." I said with a sad face.

Laura giggled again and I stood up.

"You're just encouraging him." Joan said and shook her head.

"I'll walk you out Chip." Laura said.

"Thanks. Bye Hon." I said.

Joan rolled her eyes and went back to the kitchen.

"Sorry about that. I guess I'll never see you naked now. I wanted to come back after the other bottle of wine." I said and winked.

"Chip. You're so bad." she said smiling.

I've known Laura for about five years. My behavior was only a little off how I was with her when we used to hang out more often. Back then Joan took part in the joking around. They gave as good as I did. Happier times for sure.

"Hey. You still seeing that guy, uh Preston?" I asked.

"Parker and no. I'm kind of am just taking a break from men. Too many jerks in a row." she said.

"Shit. Sorry to hear that. You deserve someone special. But you're going on a cruise? Right? That will be exciting." I said and rubbed her arm.

"Oh, Um. Thank you. Yes, I am. I hope so." she said.

She looked real uncomfortable and she fucking should.

"Sorry about in there. Joan has been really stressed. And. Ummm. Have you... uh shit never mind." I said in a low voice.

"It was great to see you. Don't be such a stranger. Really. Or I'll come by on my basketball nights and give you a sweaty hug." I said.

I looked right into her eyes. She still had a guilt in there. Perfect.

"Thank you Chip. But you know I like you sweaty though. Anytime you want to do that feel free." she challenged back.

We hugged again and I smelled her neck. I let out a low growl as I let the hot air roll over her ear and neck.