What a Cliché This Is!

This is just a 750-word flash story. I haven't written one before so I thought I would try one.

Thanks to kenjisato for once again doing the edit.

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I slowly came out of the fog, my head hurt, my right shoulder was in spasm, I was taped to a chair, and the draft on my lower regions told me I was naked. I didn't open my eyes, but the sounds suggested there were others in the room and they were having sex. I slowly opened my right eye to see my wife of five months and the asswipe, she called her music teacher, going at it on our bed. The bitch was just full of clichés.

A little back story...

I met Lisa six months ago at a party. We were both drunk and, it's fair to say, horny. Within thirty minutes we were in bed. No protection and no thought of consequences.

The sex was great, but within fifteen minutes of walking, I discovered she was a bitch and I had been wearing beer goggles.

I thought nothing of it until three weeks later, when she turned up at my door. Without a hallo, she announced, "I'm pregnant."

Her father was behind her, and advised, "There's an appointment with a judge in one hour; be there or run."

Her father was a local hood and discretion being the better part of valour, I decided to be there, and sort the rest of the mess later. So off to the judge I went, and said, "I do" when prompted.

Within a month, Lisa had a miscarriage.

It was shortly after the miscarriage that I suspected an affair. The asswipe was eight years older than her, at 30. He was married with two children. My guess was he fathered the child, and I was the fall guy.

My plan was simple, finish my last year at college, issue divorce proceedings and get out of Dodge...

It was just then Lisa noticed me coming around. "Hey John," that's me, "you're awake. Welcome to your new reality. You already know Kyle. I know you figured it out, so this is how life is going to be. Kyle is going to fuck me every which way he can. You will look after me, the house, and raise as many kids as he puts in me."

As she was talking, Kyle pulled out and went to the dresser taking out a box and handing it to Lisa.

Lisa continued, "Now, you know your place! So you can't put your dick in me, I have this little cage for you." She opened the box and held up a cock cage. Handing the key to Kyle, she added, "Kyle will keep the key. We can't have you getting hold of it, can we?"

I smirked. "You really don't want to do that because I will kill you and then I will kill him and before you say a word, I will not do a second of jail time."

"Why do you think that?" asked Lisa.

"Oh," I responded, "did you hear about the case last week? A wife and her lover put her husband in a cage like that. He beat the shit out of her then shot her lover. It was ruled the cage emasculated his masculinity causing temporary insanity. He's out now, free as a bird while she and her lover share a grave.

"Now, if I were you two, I would run, very fast because even the act of trying to put that on gives me the right to beat you to a pulp and I know Kyle over there has to go home to his wife and you will be here on your lonesome with only me and a baseball bat."

Her face went pale as the realisation hit her. She tried to muster some defiance. "If you lay one finger on me, my father will kill you."

I laughed. "I doubt that, he hates cheaters. When I told him about you and Kyle he gave me the details of a divorce attorney. The only requirement of the divorce is that I move away as soon as my degree is complete. Believe me, I have no problem with that.

"So I suggest you pack a bag and leave with the asswipe."

I couldn't believe how quickly she packed. Turns out her father was Catholic and he didn't approve of cheating. As soon as the love birds discovered he knew, they fled.

I left town a month later, and filed for divorce on the grounds of abandonment.

Good riddance to bad rubbish is all I can say.

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