Competition Entry for April Fools 2019 contest.
My wife and I have lived in our current home for over ten years. Our neighbours are married with two kids. We live in semi detached houses. This is when two homes have one wall in the middle between them (explained for our American cousins!)
Because of this joining of two homes, they are a bit cheaper to buy than fully detached homes. But semi detached means that you can hear what is going on in the house next door and the gardens are joined together so you have no choice but to be friendly with "next door." Even if they have babies crying all night, dogs that yap, yap all day and a husband who sings terrible songs when working at home, which makes you cringe when you hear it through the wall.
My wife and I are in our fifties, while our neighbours, who have just recently moved in are both 30 years old. They have two babies, two cars, two dogs and two arguments per day. If they go out the house is quiet (apart from the dogs). If they are home, we know due to all the noise coming through the adjoining wall.
My name is Jim and my wife is Sylvia. Our kids have moved out to live in their own places, to work and look after their loved ones. Sylvia and I are empty nesters and have our own interests and lives going on independently. She hasn't worked since being made redundant when she was 40 years old and didn't need to return to work as I made a small fortune. I was able to retire early having made a lot of money setting up, running, owning and then selling an engineering firm last year. We both no longer need to work, however I do Consultancy on wind, wave or solar power projects from time to time.
I am a home lover, so spend time doing DIY jobs around the house, in the garden growing flowers, fruit and vegetables as well as entering yearly sunflower growing contests.
Sylvia needs to get out of the house regularly or she goes "stir crazy" so she regularly sees her sisters, goes to a weekly book reading club, a day trip club and other things that she has been going along to for years. I'm really not interested in half of what she does; it could be like knitting, cake making, shopping, etc. I know she sees another man who she used to work with for sex. Our lovemaking is getting less and less over time. I'm not particularly bothered after all the years we have been together.
Consequently I am home a lot and Sylvia is often out of the house. So I have got to know our neighbours better than she. Either face to face or through the wall. Our neighbours are called Joanne and Ethan. Ethan is annoying while Jo as she prefers to be called, is much more talkative and friendly. More so with Sylvia than me, I think due to the fact we are married couples. Jo is very attractive with a fantastic rack and cute butt. She is small though perfectly formed with long dark hair and brown eyes.
Ethan tries to do DIY jobs around his home but usually makes a mess of them. So a trend started whereby Jo would talk to Sylvia who would ask me to pop around to their home and fix whatever it was he had been working on so it didn't go wrong. It could be some woodwork on a staircase, plumbing work under a sink, outside lights. You name it I had to fix most of his work. Most jobs I did when their house was empty. So Ethan wasn't embarrassed about his level of handiwork.
Just then I heard;
"I'm off out now" Sylvia called. "Your lunch is in the fridge Jim".
"Ok thank you" I replied from the garage where I was tinkering with some rare earth magnets.
"Oh" she called again "Don't forget you have to go round to Jo and Ethan's house. He has bought gold fascia plug sockets to replace their old white ones. He has fitted them but now nothing electrical downstairs is working. Can you sort it out? Thanks darling! Bye!"
"Not another chore for me." I thought, as I heard the front door close behind her and then her car engine fired up.
Half an hour later I walk next door with my electrical toolbox. With all the noise through the walls and chores lined up for me, I am getting fed up of these people.
Unusually Jo was home this time.
"Hi sweetheart" I said as usual to my neighbour. "Oh! Hiya, Jim." she said.
"Sorry I had no clothes for work with the washing machine, dryer and iron all not working I could not go in. I hope you do not mind me being here for once? While you work?"
"Ethan has buggered things up big time, this time." She said looking sad. "I don't know what we would do without you Jim. Thank you for helping out so much." She said as she leaned towards me and then gave me a big hug. She was less than five feet tall, but with everything in the right places and proportions, while I'm over 6 feet tall and 16 stone. Consequently as she pulled me close and squashed her chest against me; her boobs where pressed against my junk.
