All in or All Out

You must read "All In - All Out" before this to know what is going on.

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It had been two years since I had seen my ex-wife. And now here she was, unexpectedly, standing on the pier looking very, very nervous. I wondered, why in the world she was here. Last we talked, she handed me divorce papers and told me that I needed to move out. She had found a new man and had already had sex with him. And now, she was standing in front of me, after allowing her zero contact since I left.

"Skip, would it be all right if I came over to your house and we talked... please, Sky said. There are things I need to tell you." There was a pleading in her voice. She didn't even acknowledge the four women staring at her in rapt attention.

I just nodded, stepped off the boat, and walked past her. "You know where I live?" I asked.

"Yes," Sky said.

"Ok, then meet me there in an hour. I need to clean the boat and I want to grab some food on the way home."

All four women huddled around me in a protective manner. Phyllis looked me straight in the eye and said "Here is my phone number, please call me after you talk to your ex. Everyone needs someone to lean on and by the look on your face, you are not looking forward to this conversation. I don't know how I would have gotten through my divorce emotionally if I didn't have these three good friends to talk to."

I put the number in my pocket and promised to call, but I didn't really think that I would.

I stopped at my favorite fish & chips hut and grabbed a two-piece meal. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't think to order something for Sky. As I drove up my long sandy driveway, I could see Sky sitting on my wrap-around front porch.

"You could have gone inside; I don't lock the door, there is nothing here worth stealing," I said. I used my foot to open the screen door and waited for her to enter since my hands were full. Once inside, I made my way straight out the back to the large wooden deck I had built with a perfect ocean view. I especially liked to sit on my deck and watch a good storm roll in.

"I only bought enough for me," I said, "But if you'd like, I can try to find you something in the fridge for you."

Sky looked at me and shook her head, "No thank you, I am too nervous to eat anything, but you go ahead."

As I set my food out, I asked, "I have so many questions right now... but I'm sure you'll answer most of them... but before you start... how did you find me?"

"Well Skip, you are a very hard man to find. That is why it took me two years." After you drove off that day, I cried and cried. I knew what I planned to put you through was going to be very tough emotionally, for you mainly, but you reacted so off the wall that all my careful planning blew up in my face. The way I found you is that I found a website that searches property title databases, and it has an option to search by owner. I ran the search by state almost every day and your name popped up here several months ago. If you had changed your name, I never would have found you."

"I have had this conversation over and over for the past two years in my mind and I still don't know the best way to go about it. So, I'm just going to get straight to the point," said Sky.

"Skip, I never had an affair. I made it up."

"I was at the end of my rope and thought if I shocked you into thinking that I was divorcing you for another man, you would finally realize that you needed to stop going to work in the evenings. I had talked to you so many times about it, really talked to you. I know that you didn't think it was that big a deal. It went in one ear and out the other. But it was a big deal. I was lonely. I was dying inside. And you wouldn't listen to me. I was at home all the time while you were out conquering the world. I wanted you with me every night like every other normal couple."

Boom! My world had exploded again. I could feel my blood pressure skyrocket and my heart was pounding in my throat. What in the world? How could she so completely blindside again?

"Wait! What do you mean you didn't have an affair, I said. You told me you fell in love with another man, had sex with him, and even disrespected me by screwing him in our bed!"

"Yes Skip, I told you I had met someone at the club, and we fell in love. That was it. That was my made-up lie to jar you into finally taking me seriously. Well, that, and that I wanted a divorce. I did not say that I had sex with him in our bed. You asked but, if you can remember, I never answered. It seemed like you were in shock. So, I thought I'd wait a little while and then come clean with you! I thought if you moved out and were forced to face the lonely reality that you were losing your family over this, you would finally realize how serious this was to me. I thought you would try to do anything and everything to get back together."

"But you served me with divorce papers," I said.

"They weren't real divorce papers, Sky said. I printed them off the internet. I made them up. They were not real. There was no lawyer. Nothing was filed. It was all to make you "think" it was real. We are still married, Skip."

"What about the child support and maintenance payments that were calculated in the divorce papers," I said.

"It was all on the state website," Sky said. "It is a formula. You just plug in your income and whatnot, and out pops what the courts will award."

"But you told me it was too late for me to try and change, to save our marriage," I said.

"Yes, but I had tried so many times before, Sky said. You would make an effort for a week or two when I pleaded with you to cut back and then you would fall back into working every night."

"I thought that if I put my foot down for at least a few weeks you would finally take me seriously. I was determined that I would only tell you the one lie. And I know, it was a biggie. I had promised myself that I wouldn't string out lies upon lies. We were always honest with each other, and I knew I was crossing a line that I hoped I could repair. I hoped you would forgive my one lie because of my good intentions. My intentions would ultimately help us. Right? Bring us closer. Not kill us. I hoped that someday you would be giving a friend advice about his marriage and say something like, 'It took my wife telling me she was divorcing me and kicking me out to shock me out of being a workaholic. I needed this level of shock to pull back and get some work-life balance.'"

"Life has been hard since you left. The kids miss you something terrible. I miss you every moment I'm awake. All three of us still cry ourselves to sleep at night. The kids keep asking why you left. I've told them that Mom did something stupid and Dad had to leave. I have placed all the blame on myself and have never given them any details."

My brain was trying to grasp what Sky was saying. Looking into her eyes I knew she was telling the truth. We could never lie to each other. We couldn't even hide a little white lie from each other about a surprise party or something. Wow, Wow, Wow! Holy fucking Wow! "So why are you here Sky? What do you want from me now," I asked.

"I want you to come home Skip. I want to be your wife again. I love you and miss you. You are the love of my life. I want you to be our children's father again. I want to erase these last two years, and hopefully, forget my stupid scheme. Skip, will you PLEASE forgive me for what I did to you? I'm begging you."

I needed time to process, I thought. This was happening too fast again. All the same feelings of being blindsided and off balance were flooding back in. "Sky, first off, yes... you are forgiven for the lie. I totally get that you were desperate and made it up to knock some sense into me. But I have now lost two years of life with you and the kids. How do I forgive that? You took that from me. Two years of days, nights, events, ups, downs, milestones, holidays, vacations, laughs, tears, hurts, achievements. You want me to say, well, it's all good, because you had good intentions? Look what it cost me, look what it cost us!"

"I know Skip, I know. I was stupid, and probably still am stupid, but I was at my wit's end. I wanted you home at night. To talk to me, snuggle me, be with me. I lay in bed every night alone, by myself, wanting you to be by my side. And you just kept going to that damned job. I thought your job was your first love and I was a far second. Once I found you in Florida, I knew exactly what I would find when I got here. We have always shared our hopes and dreams with each other. I knew you would be living simply in a little beach house and be running fishing charters. It has always been your retirement dream."

"I came to realize that I was the one who needed the nice house, fancy cars, and private schools, said Sky. I pushed you to work hard and succeed so that your income would increase to support the things I wanted. Not you. Your boss probably rewarded you with the club membership because he knew it would please me, which would in turn please you. You always were satisfied with living fairly simply and always put us first. You made me happy and provided very well for our family. It is just one of the many things that I love about you. I knew that I would not find you in some fancy house driving an expensive car. I knew that when I found you, you would be living simply, and I hoped beyond hope that you were not being a wonderful man for some new woman."

Side note said Sky, "Your old boss is really pissed at me. I think my picture is up in the break room being used as a dart board. He has called several times asking if I have found you yet. He wants you back."

I sat there staring at Sky. I had not touched my food. I was frozen in my chair. Analyzing and drinking in every word she said. I knew everything she said was the truth. My heart was breaking with every word. "I have not been interested in anyone since I left you." I said softly, "I have not had any interest at all."

Tears were threatening to spill over my eyelids.

My heart was pounding in my chest. I could feel it beating in my ears.

The truth was that this was exactly what my heart had longed for, even though it never told my brain.

"Sky, this is too much for me all at once, I said. I want to believe every word that you have said. But I need time. Two years ago, you told me, and I believed you, that you had an affair and wanted a divorce. Now you tell me it was all made up. I need time to absorb all this. Where are you staying? How long are you here?"

"Well, I would like to stay with you, said Sky. But if this is too much, too fast, I will stay at the Star Light Hotel. I looked up the closest hotel to your house and made a reservation, just in case. I knew showing up unannounced would be a shock. But I didn't want to risk you running away if I contacted you in advance. "

"Yes, I think you should stay at the Star Light, I said. If you stayed here, I wouldn't be able to clear my head and think about what you just laid on me. Tell Bob at the Star Light to put it on my tab. I'm a regular at the beach bar. I can walk there in 20 minutes straight up the beach. Also, try the fried grouper sandwich it is really good."

Sky stood up and said, "Skip, I understand how big of a shock this is to you. Please take your time and think about what I have said. I know that you will have lots of questions once you do. We haven't even talked about the kids yet. They are healthy and I have them staying at my parent's house this week. I took unpaid leave from work to come find you. At that, she stood up and gave me a tender hug, walked back through the house and out the front door."

I sat in my chair until the moon was high pondering everything she said. Yes, I had so many questions. How were the kids doing? When did she get a job? Where did she work? Did I want to get back together with her? Could I trust her again?

I thought about why I had acted the way I did two years ago. I wasn't going to stick around and be a weekend dad and relive the pain of losing my wife, and everything I worked for, over and over again. The pain of the loss would constantly be in my face. But I had fled. I was feeling a deep sense of loss for the way I chose to deal with her "fake" betrayal. What if I had stayed around just one week? Would it have been long enough for Sky to fess up? I should have at least given my boss a two-week notice. After all, I had loved that job. And he was a great boss. If I had stuck around and resigned the right way, I'm sure I wouldn't have missed these last two years with Sky and the kids. I needed to make things right.

Even though I was pissed at Sky for making up her fake affair, deep down I could feel that I was still very much in love with her. I missed her every day. Everyone in my Florida life knew my story and that I was still hung up on her. That is the reason, if I was honest with myself, that I had not even tried to start looking for love again. I was damaged goods. And now, here was Sky, telling me that she wanted me back, telling me that she loved me, telling me that my kids needed me. Oh my God, the kids didn't have a new dad. They had NO dad. That was it. My mind was made up. My heart leapt for joy, and I felt a warm feeling like honey surge through my body. What was I doing sitting in my house when my WIFE was just up the beach?

I jumped up and started running toward the Star Light Hotel. When I got to the front desk, I asked what room my wife was staying in. My friend Bob happened to be chatting with the desk clerk and stood there smiling ear to ear. The desk clerk just smiled at me and placed a room card on the counter. "You have been the talk of the hotel tonight since we saw your wife come back alone, we have been placing bets on how long it would be before you showed up. Good luck Skip."

When I got to her room, it was only then that I realized that I was a dripping mess. I had sweat literally dripping off my chin and hands. I tried to calm my breathing. I took my shirt off and did my best to wipe off the sweat. But nothing would calm my heart that was pounding in my chest.

As I was trying to compose myself the door jerked open and there stood Sky. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She took one look at my face, jumped into my arms, and clung to me for dear life. Our lips locked in a passionate kiss, and we only broke apart when we couldn't breathe anymore. She was holding the back of my head with one hand and tearing at her shirt with the other. I set her down so that she could use both hands. With her shirt off she jumped back into my arms and smashed her breast against my wet chest. Not a word had been spoken yet as we locked lips.

I purposefully walked toward the bed as I kicked off my shoes. Once my knees hit the bed Sky broke her hold on me and shimmied out of her pants then grabbed my shorts and yanked them off. My dick sprung up and Sky wasted no time gobbling it into her mouth. I grasped her head with both of my hands as I directed both of us up on the bed. I had an unstoppable urge to be inside her. Sky laid back spreading her legs wide open and arched her back with her eyes glued shut in anticipation. I slid up on top and passionately kissed her as I lowered myself into her molten wet tunnel. Slowly, I thrust in and out. She was crying and screaming out her pleasure at the same time.

I heard a door close somewhere in the distance, but it only vaguely registered in my endorphin-soaked mind. God how I missed this. And that was the last thing I remembered until I slowly awoke the next morning, entangled in a heap of sheets with my gorgeous wife. The wife I had never actually lost or who never actually left me. I was happy. Really happy. It dawned on me that I had not been this happy in two years.

I found Sky's mouth and placed a soft kiss on her lips. I slowly caressed her neck, slowly moving down to her breasts, and found a very hard nipple to suck on. Sky moaned and rolled on top of me. She reached between us and grabbed my already rock-hard cock and easily slid it into her very wet vagina. She slowly rocked herself back and forth rubbing her clit hard against my pelvic bone. It wasn't long before both of us exploded in only our second orgasm in two years.

"Well, that is a wonderful way to wake up," Sky said. "This is more than I allowed myself to dream for when I came after you."

"Sky, I said, I know there is so much we need to talk about." Let's go down to the bar, they have a great breakfast. But first, we need to either take a shower or take a dip in the ocean. Which do you prefer?"

After a nice long shower together, we walked hand in hand to the hotel beach bar. Bob was there as always but this morning he had a grin from ear to ear. "Morning you two, said Bob. You really should close your door next time. I happened to pass your room last night, well really, I couldn't help myself, I wanted to see if you were yelling at each other or getting along. I'm glad I did as you didn't even bother to close the door."

We both blushed realizing that Bob probably got an eye full, but we didn't care. Nothing was going to ruin our mood. Breakfast lasted all the way until dinner, as we talked and talked. Sky brought me up to date on everything back home. I filled her in on my new life and all I had done in the last two years.

And that is how I got my life back. No, I didn't move back home. We decided that we both wanted to start over, here in Florida. I was making enough to support the family and since Sky had started working, she said she would at least find something part-time while the kids were in school to help out. We sold the old house, and I moved them into my beach house. We actually did one of those "reconfirm your vows" ceremonies. This time we added a line about always being open and honest with each other. And we promised each other to never let anything come between us again.

I think what has helped our marriage the most is that we came up with what we call a "stop and listen" word. Kinda like a "safe" word. Whenever one of us wants the other to stop what they are doing and really hear what they are saying, we say, "Madison Club." It reminds us that our relationship is the most important thing and that our lover is trying to communicate something that we are not understanding. Sky has only used it once since we got back together. I have used it twice. I think that in time we will not have to use it at all, as we learn to be more in tune with each other's feelings and really listen to each other's needs, wants, and desires.

I could tell you all about the kids and our reunion, but that may be for another story.

I was "All In" again!