A man's ego is one thing you don't screw around with, especially when the subject is what happens in the bedroom. I'm not saying a guy needs to be stroked every time, but if there's a problem in that area, it needs to be kept in the bedroom. I have a wife that has a big mouth and sometimes she just needs to keep it closed or wrap around my dick where it will do some good.
Six months ago, my wife Carol and I were at a friend's house for an adult, party night. The wine and beer were flowing freely. The guys adjourned to half-ass watch a football game in the family room, while the wife's were in the kitchen and dining room chatting away.
It was my turn to get the beers, so I made my way towards the cooler in kitchen. I could hear the women chatting and laughing away as I walked towards them. I stopped for a quick minute when I heard Jan, one of my buddy's wife tell my wife Carol, "Steve's looking pretty hot since he started training for that marathon. It looks like you could break a 2x4 across his ass, and he'd never feel it," Jan said with a laugh.
My chest started to pump up with pride. It felt pretty good that someone other than my wife noticed that I'd dropped twenty pounds, and was probably in the best shape of my life.
However, my euphoria was short lived, when my wife Carol replied, "I only wish there was more of him, in the front, if you know what I mean."
Tina, another wife, replied, "You mean your not getting enough?"
"I get all the quantity, but sometimes not the quality," Carol told them.
Mary butted in, "Girl after just two years, you should still be having newly wed sex, and plenty of it," she said laughing out loud.
"It's just that Steve's not as big as what I was use to," she told the group. Every once in a while, when we're having sex, I think back to my ex, and a few others, that were pretty well endowed. You know the size that makes your toes curl. They use to get me unbelievably hot, and really fill me up, if you know what I mean" she said with a wicked laugh. "However, Steve's got the most talented tongue in the world, he could give a dead women a climax," she said with a snicker.
"Well, any time you want to get rid of him, let me know because I'd snap him up in a heart beat," Beth replied. "I don't know another guy, who would have taken you and your kids in, and treat you half as nice as Steve does," she continued.
"I know your right, but I just wish he was a little bigger," she said with a laugh.
They then all laughed, as Carol showed with her hands, how big she'd like me to be. The laughing stopped when Beth saw me in the doorway.
If I said I was hot, that would have been a gross understatement. As the girls stood there quietly and looked towards the door, Carol turned around. "Steve," was all she got out as I laid into her.
"You really are a stupid bitch aren't you?" I started. "You never know when to keep your damn mouth shut do you?" I turned around, walking back into the dining room.
"It's not like I called you a pencil dick did I?" Carol said trying to make amends. It didn't work.
"I guess everyone can't be hung like a horse can they?" I replied as now everyone was gathering around.
"Speak for yourself," Dan piped in. "I know I'm hung like a Greek god and Mary will back me up," he continued.
Bob told the group that it wasn't the length, but the girth, and that he more than satisfied Beth.
What Paul next said broke the camel's back. "Well if Steve can't handle the job, Carol, just me a call, I'll take good care of you," he said with a laugh.
"Shut up Paul," Jan told her husband, but the damage was all ready done. As the wives stood there quietly, the guys continued to make snide comments until I had heard enough. The sound of my empty beer bottle crashing against the wall made everybody shut up.
"You can all go to hell," I said as I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. The last thing I heard was Carol telling me was to wait, as I slammed the door.
Halfway down the street I eased up on the gas, no use getting a speeding ticket in a residential area I told myself. I was madder than I'd ever been. This wasn't the first time Carol had said something inappropriate, when they were out with their friends, but this was by far the worst.
As I walked into my house, I was still bouncing off the walls. I punched the refrigerator and bedroom door before the pain forced me to stop. If I didn't meet her criteria, why the hell did she marry me; it wasn't like I'd forced her. I guess Carol just looked at me as a comfortable, meal ticket; but no more he said to himself.
I took a large suitcase down from the closet, packing all the essentials including work clothes. I figured I'd be back later for the rest of my stuff in a day or two. I just wanted to get as far away from her as possible right now; before I did something stupid and hurt her or myself, anymore than I had all ready as I looked down at my bloody hand.
There was a motel close to my work so I checked in and went down to the bar. "Give me a shot of bourbon and a Miller chaser," I told the bartender. I spent the rest of the afternoon there, ignoring the numerous calls from Carol on my cell phone. Finally I just turned it off, and went back to my room to sleep; or at least try to.
After Steve left everyone was still in shock. "We were just joking with him," Dan said in almost amazement at how it had escalated to that level.
"Don't worry, he'll be back when he cools down," Dave said, as his wife Tina told them all to shut the hell up.
The girls pulled Carol into the kitchen as she started crying uncontrollable. "Why didn't anyone tell me Steve was behind me?" she sobbed.
"Honey we didn't see him standing there until it was too late," Beth told her.
"Don't worry, Dave's probably right, he'll be back once he's cooled down," Tina told her.
"I just wonder how much he heard," Carol asked them.
"You know all these guys have this macho image, but a delicate ego to go with it," she told Carol.
"In a couple of days, he'll get over it and be begging you to forgive him," Mary said with a laugh. "Dan's always saying something stupid I have to forgive him for, but we're still together isn't we?"
Carol listened, but wasn't as sure as the rest of them. She'd never seen Steve so mad. If he'd heard everything, she knew it wouldn't go away in a day or two. Why did she even open her big, fat, mouth and say those things, even if they were true, well partly true anyway.
I met Carol in the parking lot at Publix. She had two small kids and was in the process of putting one kid in the car seat, when her cart with her little girl started rolling away. She screamed and was in hot pursuit when I stepped in to stop the cart, before it went into the street. Carol was crying, and thanking me all at the same time as she grasped the cart.
"Relax, every things ok, take a deep breath," I told her.
I wheeled the cart back over to her car, picked up her little girl and put her into the car seat. Carol then picked up the 1st bag, and it split down the side before she could put it into her trunk. The tears began to flow again as he began to pick up the grocery's off the parking lot, and putting them into her car. I put the remaining bags in her trunk, and shut the lid.
"There you go, all put away," I told her.
"I'm sorry about the scene, but it's just one of those days that every thing seems to be going wrong," Carol told him.
"No trouble, just think of me as your white knight and you were the damsel in distress."
She looked at me smiling and returned my laugh. "Yeah right" she told me.
"Let's try this again shall we? Hi, I'm Carol Thomas and you're?
Steve Dayton at your service," I said with a deep bow.
She smiled, thanked me again, telling me that she had to get home before everything melted.
"Are you sure you're ok?" I asked.
"Yes, I think I can take it from here, but thank you anyway."
I held open her door, and closed it when she got seated.
"Maybe I'll see you around."
"I'd like that, but not like today," she said with a laugh and drove away. Now that's what you call a fox I said to myself, and no wedding ring.
The next time I saw Carol was at the mall, with her two kids and Jan, a friend. We must have talked for twenty minutes. When the kids started to get a little antsy, she told me she'd better get her butt in gear. I told her goodbye and watched her and the kids walk away.
"Picking up strange men in the mall?" Jan asked her. Carol told her the story of the parking lot fiasco and said his name was Steve. "You know he likes you, don't you?"
Carol just looked at her, "What makes you think so?"
"Girl, that man couldn't keep his eyes off you, are you that blind? Do you like him?"