Mormon Bishop Reveals Confessions

WARNING: This story contains graphic dialog pertaining to religious leader abuse of consenting adult members.

Hi. I'm Bishop Mercer (not my real name) of the Mormon church in Central California and I have been serving in this capacity for five years. It's a huge responsibility with no monetary compensation but quite a few other blessings. I oversee a "ward" of about 350 members with about half of them attending regularly. Typically, bishops will be released after serving 5-6 years so I've started to review my personal notes in preparation for a book I plan to write about my experience as bishop.

The book will be true and contain many confessions and stories revealed by my congregation over the years. I will have to write the book under a pseudonym and change the names of the members in the stories because there are strict rules against revealing confessions. For the general public it will be shocking. For members of the church, it will be scandalous and a real eyeopener. This first story is a series of events that lead to my bishop being excommunicated, and myself being called to replace him.

For a church whose public persona is about purity culture and obedience, almost everyone in my ward was masturbating, getting laid, having soft swings, threesomes, gay sex, or having incestuous relations with other adult family members. My future book, and this story, will only include confessions from adults about adult consensual sex. Anything members did that was illegal was escalated up the ladder to other church leaders. Sometimes they acted, sometimes they did not. That, however, is another story.

I had no idea how much debauchery went on behind the scenes of a normal ward until I was called into my first leadership position, Elder's Quorum President, 10 years before. The man I replaced was arrested (for the third time) for looking in windows and masturbating. He was my Elder's Quorum President. I didn't know he had this problem and neither did any of my friends or family. It was all covered up by the church. The third time it happened the police had had enough and jailed him. Making a public scene is the worst sin you can commit as a member of the Mormon church. He was disciplined (a slap on the wrist) and released from leadership. That was my start to leadership in the Mormon Church. Little did I know the fun was just beginning.

My first act as Bishop was to choose my counselors and executive secretary. I submitted three names for these positions and was told none of them were eligible to serve. WTF? Finally, after submitting seven names, I was able to find three men who were "worthy" to serve in leadership. My counselors are fine men and have stood by me for the last five years. We went through this incredible experience together.

As Bishop you sit on the stand with your counselors and look over the flock every Sunday. I admit I was proud of myself for being called to Bishop. I myself was a convert to the church, having spent the first 25 years of my life as a wild child. So, unlike many other leaders, I was not naive. I'm in my 50's, married to the love of my life Cindy, have two grown children, and just I'm just hitting my stride income wise. Overall, my life has been very good.

My first Sunday as Bishop I watched the congregation. I notice a large number of the members were not partaking of the sacrament. In the Mormon church there is a weekly sacrament (bread and water) that is passed among the members. You are instructed NOT TO PARTAKE if you are not worthy. Personal worthiness was largely self-determined based on your own perception, guilt, or shame from the previous week. Forced abstaining from the sacrament also happens as a punishment for sinful behavior and is mandated by church leaders, usually with an end-date. For example, if you confessed to masturbation, you might be instructed to abstain from the sacrament for one month. (And of course, stop masturbating.)

I was very concerned on that first Sunday as bishop. My personal experience had been that for every member who felt themselves unworthy there were at least two others who never felt unworthy no matter what they did. I leaned into my counselors and said, "Buckle up guys, this is going to be a wild ride." That was the most inspired statement I would make as a bishop.

The previous bishop, my predecessor, was Bishop Club. He and his first counselor Brother Jacobson had left town suddenly, moving their entire families to Salt Lake City, Utah. There were rumors, lots of rumors. I soon found out why he was compelled to leave the state of California. In one of my first official meetings as bishop, the church PR department explained they were doing their utmost (including paying off witnesses and victims) in order to keep the general public from finding out the atrocities committed by Bishop Club. More on him later...

One of the duties of the Mormon bishop is to conduct "worthiness interviews." These begin at 12-years of age and continue till death, at least once a year. I won't be discussing any interviews with children under the age of 18, but I will say there was a recent revolt among Mormon parents who were fed up with their children sitting alone in a room with an adult male who questioned their children about their sexuality. Under heavy pressure, the church had to change the rules allowing parents to either opt-out of the worthiness interviews or demand that they, the parents, be present during the child's interview. This was a much-needed change to protect children from predatory leaders. The adults aren't so lucky.

As soon as I started as Bishop my calendar filled up with people who wanted to talk. These talks could be about finances, marital problems, lack of faith, or sinful behavior. Many members wanted to discuss the previous Bishop and his unusual techniques for repentance. Luckily, I had been warned this would be coming my direction. I was under strict orders to bury as much of this information as possible. Forgive victims and turn things around in the ward. Here's a few of their stories. Again, these stories are true as related to me, but the names are changed to protect myself from legal action and to protect the innocent.

______________________________

Mellisa, age 20, single female, lifetime member of the church. Like most Mormon girls Mellisa is beautiful and a little naïve. At this time, she attended college and lived with two female roommates in a small apartment within our ward boundaries.

"Hi Bishop Mercer, I'm sorry to bother you so soon after starting your new calling, but I have concerns about some things that happened with Bishop Club, and his first counselor Brother Jacobson before they left for Utah. "

"Don't be sorry, that's what I'm here for. Please tell me your story."

"I started seeing Bishop Club about a year ago because I was having issues with masturbation. The problem started out with me waking in the middle of the night rubbing my private area up against my pillow until I orgasmed. I didn't feel the need to confess this behavior at first, but over time it progressed to me inserting a finger, then two fingers, then my brush handle -- you get the idea. It changed from a middle-of-the-night activity to several times per day. That's when I decided I needed to talk to the bishop."

"Okay. Was he helpful?"

"In a way, yes. You know him, he's very attractive and I've always liked him. In my first confession he asked me very specific questions about how I masturbated, how often, what objects I used, if I was multi-orgasmic, that sort of thing. As I talked to him, I got very aroused and it was obvious to me he was also getting aroused."

"I got so horny that I actually started to embellish the stories to make them hotter. I don't know why I did that. He was already turned on and so was I. I just felt like I was somewhat in control of the narrative."

"I can understand that. It does feel powerless to speak to the bishop knowing you are being judged by him. What was his recommendation to move forward?"

"At first it seemed normal. He told me he wanted to meet with me every Thursday night in his office to review the week and see how I'd done. He advised me not to partake of the sacrament at this time, to pray twice daily, and read my scriptures. Then he offered to give me a blessing."

(In Mormonism it is common for a priesthood holder to anoint and bless a person who is ill or struggling with sin. This usually requires two Elders, one to anoint and one to bless.)

"He called in Brother Jacobson to anoint, which he did, then Bishop Club joined him and stepped beside me to give me the blessing. I didn't hear one word of the blessing because I was super horny and could feel the bishop's erection pressing against my upper arm. After the blessing he dismissed Brother Jacobson and asked me if I needed anything else at that time."

"I told him I could really use a hug. I stood up expecting a side-hug because we were alone together, but he gave me a full-on hug, pressing my boobs into his chest and grinding his penis into my midsection. This lasted long enough for me to get a good feel for his penis size, which I thought was huge, but I had nothing to compare it to except my brush handle. My nipples were so sensitive and poking out. My vagina was wet and smelly. I was certain he could smell me and feel my nipples pressing into his white shirt and tie. I was a little embarrassed but also really turned on by the experience."

"Did you feel like he violated you?"

"No. I really just felt really horny and a little bit guilty about my thoughts about his penis. At that time, I had never seen or felt a penis. He sent me home and asked me to return Thursday night.

I got off to rough start because as soon as I got home, I locked the door to my room and searched the Internet for penises. I learned I was right; Bishop Club's penis was exceptionally large. I looked at the pictures while touching my breasts. Finally, I went to the kitchen and grabbed a cucumber from the counter. I picked one that was considerably larger than my hairbrush handle. I had the best orgasm of my life while thinking of my bishop bending me over his desk and pounding me with his big penis. I'm so ashamed bishop!"

"Melissa, Bishop Club should never have led you on like that. Your physical reaction was perfectly normal under the circumstances. I love you and care about you, but even I'm having a physical reaction to our discussion. Some things just happen because we're human. You were just having a human response to sexual stimulation. How did the Thursday night meetings go?"

"I thought it was going well, but some of it seemed wrong and naughty. That first Thursday he cross-examined me about my week. I confessed about the cucumber, my internet search, and my fantasy about his penis. He asked me a lot of questions about how the cucumber's size and if fit in my pussy, how fast I moved it in and out, whether I orgasmed, how many times, things like that."

"Once again, I was getting so hot and horny. I tried to keep my thoughts clean but he kept asking these leading questions that led my mind down a dark tunnel. Bishop Club told me his methods are highly unusual, but very effective in conquering masturbation. He said he needed to touch my vagina. I lied and told Bishop Club I was on my period, trying to buy time."

"Bishop Club said he understands, and for me to return next Thursday night prepared to be examined more closely. He also said it was very important that I DO NOT speak to my roommates or other ward members about any of this, and masturbation is forbidden between now and Thursday. He wanted to judge my arousal level. I stood up and slowly slinked out of his office but made eye contact with Brother Jacobson who was sitting very close to the wall in the next room. I was concerned. Did he overhear our conversation? I got my answer when he gave me a strange smile and looked down at his own lap where his pants were bulging at the seams."

"Mellisa, I'm so sorry you went through this. This is not normal and not a part of the gospel. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive Bishop Club and Brother Jacobson. We don't receive a lot of training to be bishop. I'd like to think they were doing the best they could under the circumstances. You, however, bear no responsibility for their perverted actions. I can absolve you of your sins, as your bishop. I would like to see you partaking of the sacrament next Sunday. You are worthy to do so."

"Before you do that bishop, you might want to hear the rest of the story."

"Oh no, what happened."

"Somehow, I made it through the next week without masturbating. I was masturbating at least 3 or 4 times a day so by Thursday I was a soaking wet mess down there in my private area. I couldn't think of anything else except relief through orgasm and masturbation. I was very worried that Bishop Club would judge me harshly, because I was obviously very much out of control."

"But, to my surprise, he was smiling and excited to see me. He asked Brother Jacobson to join us, stating that he needed another witness in the room so he could be protected from any false accusations. He then asked me to close my eyes tightly and not open them no matter what. He explained that the two men would closely examine my vagina, then stimulate me to orgasm a few times with an instrument. In this way he said the next week would be easier for me to abstain from masturbating. I should be able to make it from Thursday to Thursday without masturbating, as long as they satisfied my needs thoroughly each week."

"I need to confess. I knew this was wrong, and I was pretty certain the instruments they planned to use were their penises. But I was so horny I didn't care about right or wrong. I just needed relief."

"They laid me on the bishop's desk and pulled my dress up revealing my panties."

(Mormons who've been to the temple wear "garments." These are special bulky underwear we are instructed to wear the remainder of our lives. Mellisa hadn't been to the temple, hadn't been endowed, and wasn't required to wear garments.)

"I lifted my butt so they could remove my panties and I laid there fully exposed to both men and their whims. I pretended to close my eyes, but I kept them open just enough to look at their penises as they brought them out. I watched them look closely and inspect my pussy. I felt like the Amazon River was running between my legs. They smiled broadly at each other and took turns touching my labia."

"Brother Jacobson was nearly as big as Bishop Clug. He stepped between my legs and without any ceremony, prayer, or anointing started to slide his dick up and down on my wet slit. Then suddenly the two men started having a whispered discussion, almost like an argument. They stepped a few feet away and I couldn't hear everything, but I did I heard the words priesthood, ordinance, and virgin. I was pretty sure what they had planned and assumed they were discussing who had the patriarchal authority to take my virginity."

I interrupted her and asked, "Are you okay Mellisa? I can assure you these activities had little or nothing to do with the patriarchy. I feel strongly that I can absolve you of any sins you may have committed, without you expressing any more details. If you are uncomfortable going forward, I can allow you to stop now."

"No, it's important to me that I confess my involvement and my state of mind at the time. I would like to continue if it's okay with you?"

"Proceed."

"When they returned Brother Jacobson stepped to the side of the desk with his penis dangerously close to my closed eyes. I couldn't help but stare through my squinted eyelids. It was very large, with a purple head about the size of tennis ball, had blue veins running the full length, and was throbbing with each of his heartbeats."

"Bishop Club moved in between my legs. They had decided the bishop should take my virginity. I never felt violated. Mostly I felt relief as he took my virginity."

"I had been told that the first time can be very painful, but it wasn't. My soaking wet vagina stretched open easily to accommodate the bishop's penis. I'm sure my practice with the large cucumber prepared my vagina to be entered in this way. Bishop Club went slowly and talked to me from time-to-time. He asked if he was hurting me. He was very concerned and I felt he loved me very much. I had my first orgasm from a penis withing minutes of accepting all of his manhood. I was pleased with myself when he came, which he did a few strokes after me."

"It's a little embarrassing now, but at the time it just felt wonderful. I felt useful and very loved by the bishop. I also felt like I was making progress towards overcoming my masturbation issue and becoming worthy."

"Brother Jacob stepped up next and he was not patient at all. I was glad the bishop had gone first and taken my virginity. Brother Jacob placed that large head at the entrance to my vagina and entered me quickly with little fanfare. He shoved his entire cock in my vagina in one stroke and I felt a sharp pain that slowly subsided as he started to pump me. He wasn't gentle at all and started really ramming his cock into my pussy until I could feel his balls slapping against my anus."

"To my utter amazement I enjoyed the rough treatment he was giving me. He slapped my ass really hard and it stung badly. He spanked me again hard and said I was bad for masturbating. He wanted me to promise I would never masturbate again. I wanted to promise him, but a part of me knew I could never keep that promise. The second time I orgasmed took longer and as he pulled out I squirted a large amount of clear liquid and cum on your desk. Right there..."

I didn't mean to look, but I followed her gaze looking for any sign or evidence she was telling the truth. I didn't notice anything different about the desk. After staring at the desk for a minute, I met her gaze. She looked like she was really aroused and was lost in the story. Even though I felt dirty, I asked her to continue.

"After Brother Jacobson finished inside me, I felt more satisfied sexually than I had in years. The whole process seemed normal to me. I didn't feel any remorse and even asked if this would happen every Thursday night."

One thing really did surprise me. I was stunned when Brother Jacobson ejaculated inside of me, because he used the Lord's name in vain when he came inside me. I looked at the bishop who didn't seem to notice, but I felt like Brother Jacobson should have been rebuked for saying Jesus Christ."

"We continued to have these meetings every Thursday night, right up until they both left town with their families in the middle of the night. I was disappointed when they left town without saying goodbye. I looked forward to Thursdays. Now, I'm sorry to tell you, I've returned to masturbating."

I reassured Mellisa she was without guile. I read her a couple of scriptures and we prayed together. I also told her not to worry about the masturbation issue.

"The Lord knows you very well and I know you very well. You are worthy. Part of the repentance process requires that you never reveal these events to anyone else. As your bishop, your sins are forgiven. Bishop Club and Brother Jacobson will have to account for their own sins in due time.

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Jim, married 30 years to his wife Linda, empty nesters, living in a nice home within the ward boundaries. In the Mormon church couples are often interviewed together, but Jim asked for a private meeting.

"Thank you for meeting with me bishop. I feel like you should know about a problem I have been dealing with for almost a year that has come to a head in the last few months. Unbeknownst to me, my wife Linda was working with Bishop Club to repent of some sins. I just learned the facts myself a few days ago."